Asta Charles
- Location
- Los Angeles, California, USA
- Birthday
- December 12
- Title
- Myth Maker
- Bio
- I am a comedic writer and real life satirist. I am interested in social psychology, economics, communication, politics, and transition from a religious world to a secular one. Oh, and I spend a lot of time in bars.
I wrote a manuscript about the perils of online dating and its ultimate cost to society. It's not published. Meh.
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “@tregibbs:
I
guess this boils down
to...
she's a human
not a barbie doll of a
part…”
12:11AM - “I'm gonna say it...I'm
totally gonna say
it...
Dear Elizabeth
Hasselbeck: Fuck
off…”
9:33PM - “@Rod Emmons: Thank you
as always for your words
of
encouragement. I'm so that
I h…”
1:47PM - “@Stellaa: My market
research guy assures me that
those traits
WILL go away! As
fo…”
2:13AM - “@Poppi: All the older
women in my neighborhood are
single
too! LA doesn't make
th…”
1:06AM
Asta Charles's Links
- New list
- I'm Saving my Anus for Marriage
- Adventures in Poverty
- Your Atheist Children Want You to Read This
- A Doctor, a Man, and Some Fucking Bees
- Gay Marriage 'n' Video Games
- Levi Johnston is a Gay Icon
- Why it's okay for your Daughters to Admire Lady GaGa
- Oh my! Monogamy!
- Ode to Barney Frank
- Scientology Goes on Trial in France
- Lessons From Wiser Nations: The US and Japan
- Asta Charles MySpace
- Asta Charles Twitter
- Asta Charles
Meghan McCain, I think I like you.

It's not often that I find someone, alive in present day, whose
logic and belief system I admire. This doesn't mean that I must
agree with everything they say, but just fucking "going for it" and
creating a movement out of an original and logical concept that
could actually change the… Read full post »
Online Dating: Keeping the Anti-Depressant Industry Alive

I'm presently working with a market researcher on some uh-duh,
market research projects at the office. He is a 40-something male,
who I'm assuming is swimmingly single due to his over-enthusiasm
for cars and travel. For those of you that may think being
judgmental is a bad thing, that is what… Read full post »
Yes, California, you too can drive in the rain!

Hello there, I'm Dr. Charles. I have a PHd in vehicular hydro maneuveration. It's an honorary degree that you get when you grow up in the state of Oregon.
Rain isn't so bad, guys. I know it seems scary, coming down from the heavens and all, one might… Read full post »
What Tokyo Taught Me About Illegal Downloading

I walked out on the stage, in my clothes that I'd been wearing for
two whole days, after everyone else in my party. There were 700
pairs of eyes gaping wide open at us. Hungry for whatever we'd
brought from Los Angeles. But they didn't know that the singer had
almost… Read full post »
The Politics of the Cock Block

I think we've all been there.
In the heat of "oh I really really want to do it, get down, hump
wickedly with this person," comes the realization,"but my friends
are here." Which quickly turns into, "I can't ask them to leave."
Then finally sudden hatred and the thought, "they're COCK
BLOCKING… Read full post »
Sorority Fashion Rules brought to you by Cornell's Pi Phi

I recall as a child, my best friend, born four days after myself,
was forced to wear a Rodney Dangerfield inspired golf outfit to her
own mini-golf birthday party. We were about eight years-old. She
was fucking horrified at what she was wearing. Her mother asked me
to go up in… Read full post »

Following Hurricane Katrina a slough of investors began purchasing
real estate in the moldy, soggy, broken and economically depressed
New Orleans. I suppose the most famous of these attempts to
revitalize the town with Hollywood dollars and loads of sperm,
ovum, and probably a zygote or possib… Read full post »
On the Eve of Japan

Oh, the land of the rising sun.
The land which we destroyed with the beloved fusion bomb over
nearly seventy years ago.
The land which we mock, gain Asiatic impressions from, whether
worthwhile and applicable or not, it's just a jolly good time. That
which we don't understand but find odd is… Read full post »
The Service Economy is an Asshole

I don't like TV that makes me think too hard about something non-comedic. As a child I spent a lot of time watching "Unsolved Mysteries" and varying sci-fi related television. I think in my adolescence I decided that entertainment should be synonymous with "hilarity" and nothing else wou/…
Health Care Reform: Clusterfucking to Create a 3rd Party

I really wish I was a lot happier about today. When this whole possiblity of universal health care began discussion in the middle of 2009, I was wrought with smiles and sparkles. The sun shone lovingly upon congress and liberals like I existed in a haze of "what could be"… Read full post »
Calling Out Dr. Laura's Bible Thumping

I rarely post the work of others, because I feel a bit plagiaristy
about it. However, I find this far too amazing a gem to keep to
myself.
Many of you are probably familiar with Dr. Laura and her rather
strict theories on life, love, family and more. These strict
theories are… Read full post »

I like my job. I like what I do, as a skill and general effort.
However, like any job, it can get mundane as one gets better at it.
I can do my job efficiently and proactively with a bitchin'
hangover or with the flu. So I'd give myself a solid… Read full post »
The Holiday Spirit Broke my Immune System

I haven't been able to write a blog since November 30th. This
saddens me greatly. Here I sit, crying big salty tears into my
cup'o'water with emergen-c in it. Then I will some left overs from
a party I attended last week and ten consider digging into a half
consumed bottle… Read full post »

I have a problem. It's gestating by the a person I know who is
generally quite skilled at solving problems. This person is
dad.
If I have a non-dad appointed problem (either involves sexiness or
I can figure it out myself) I ruminate on it, I pontificate, I go
for a… Read full post »
Gay Marriage 'n' Video Games

I recall Bill O'Reilly's reaction to San Francisco Mayor Gavin
Newsom's rogue legalization of gay marriage in the city in 2004. He
likened this independent effort to take action into the hands of a
heavily homo-populated city as a severe slippery slope that would
of course end in the legalizat… Read full post »
If global warming is a myth, I'm still not buying a Hummer

My dad and I don't see eye to eye politically. In fact, I'm pretty
sure he's not looking at eyes, he's looking at balls or something
nether organ and pretending that it's the ocular organ. Regardless,
I love him just the same. I also don't mind some good political
banter now… Read full post »
Cruel, Dysmorphic, Feminist Intentions

My view of myself is quite askew, my fiance knows this well and
puts up with it triumphantly. I'd like to say this is merit of a
true man, to allow me to comment on my generally mild body
dysmorphic disorder and not tell me to shut up, but reply with… Read full post »
Conservative Talk Radio is Raping my Freakin' Ears

I understand some things. Like gravity. I know that pi is 3.14. I
know that h2o is two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen. I know
that Barack Obama is a president as a result of American backlash
to the GOP. I also know that the GOP is using the term… Read full post »

I'm newly engaged. Which, because I'm an easily amused and obsessed
pessimist, means that I am not obsessed with my wedding - but
rather issues that can and do affect married people. If you're
married, or have been, you're probably already way ahead of me and
you are probably already bored… Read full post »
Divorced, Separated, Widowed? We've got a fair for that!

I'm an extremely negative and forward thinking person. I'm also
about to get married. My life is, quite frankly, the best it could
possibly be at this exact moment. I guess there could be the
leprechaun constantly handing me money or something, but that I'll
keep for my warm snuggy sleep… Read full post »
The Social Media Marketer's Manifesto

I try very hard to keep my work life separate from this blog. I
don't care to have the two intermingle, mainly due to the extremely
conservative nature of my workplace and my irreverent use of the
English language in this blog. The two crossing swords in an
eye-meets text clash… Read full post »

When I first heard of this alleged "Lady", an adjective used to
describe "Gaga", I assumed this songstress was a transvestite that
had somehow made in the big time. I assumed this because of the
overtly femme name as well as a very strong and robust, albeit
quality, vocal tone.
I don't… Read full post »

France, I was really excited for you.
France, you had so much hope glistening in your judicial eye.
France, of all the things you gave us - philosophy, Braille, the
stethoscope, and the totally bitchin' gyroscope, something for
republicans to project their discontent at from 2002 - 2008 - you
co… Read full post »
Will the Church of Scientology meet its maker?
Usually, I wouldn't post about something as an "update". I make an effort not to post thoughts or information that has not potentially pre-empted my thought process, but today brings an exception. Today, is October 26th, 2009. Today is the day before the Church of Scientology may be dis… Read full post »

When I was in macroeconomics class in college, I was a bit of a
teacher's pet. Oh fine, I was a fucking kiss ass. Oh how I loved
guns and butter, supply and demand, elasticity, inelasticity and
public policy. This lead to many after-class conversations about
such concepts as marijuana legaliza… Read full post »
Asta Charles's Favorites
Updates
-
The Greatest Generation - A response, part 1
-
I Definitively Define Feminist
-
U.S.-Supported Night Raids Bring Terror to Afghanis
-
I’m the Greatest Braggart That Ever Lived
-
The Plumber is Watching
-
Why I'm Impossible to Shop For
-
American Idol Season 9 Recap: Mile High Madness
-
Golden Beets and Garlic Kale (with Guest Photographer)
Salon.com