It's not often that I find someone, alive in present day, whose logic and belief system I admire. This doesn't mean that I must agree with everything they say, but just fucking "going for it" and creating a movement out of an original and logical concept that could actually change the… Read full post »

I'm presently working with a market researcher on some uh-duh, market research projects at the office. He is a 40-something male, who I'm assuming is swimmingly single due to his over-enthusiasm for cars and travel. For those of you that may think being judgmental is a bad thing, that is what… Read full post »

Hello there, I'm Dr. Charles. I have  a PHd in vehicular hydro maneuveration. It's an honorary degree that you get when you grow up in the state of Oregon.

Rain isn't so bad, guys. I know it seems scary, coming down from the heavens and all, one might… Read full post »

I walked out on the stage, in my clothes that I'd been wearing for two whole days, after everyone else in my party. There were 700 pairs of eyes gaping wide open at us. Hungry for whatever we'd brought from Los Angeles. But they didn't know that the singer had almost… Read full post »

I think we've all been there.

In the heat of "oh I really really want to do it, get down, hump wickedly with this person," comes the realization,"but my friends are here." Which quickly turns into, "I can't ask them to leave." Then finally sudden hatred and the thought, "they're COCK BLOCKING… Read full post »

I recall as a child, my best friend, born four days after myself, was forced to wear a Rodney Dangerfield inspired golf outfit to her own mini-golf birthday party. We were about eight years-old. She was fucking horrified at what she was wearing. Her mother asked me to go up in… Read full post »

Following Hurricane Katrina a slough of investors began purchasing real estate in the moldy, soggy, broken and economically depressed New Orleans. I suppose the most famous of these attempts to revitalize the town with Hollywood dollars and loads of sperm, ovum, and probably a zygote or possib… Read full post »

Oh, the land of the rising sun.

The land which we destroyed with the beloved fusion bomb over nearly seventy years ago.

The land which we mock, gain Asiatic impressions from, whether worthwhile and applicable or not, it's just a jolly good time. That which we don't understand but find odd is… Read full post »

 
I don't like TV that makes me think too hard about something non-comedic. As a child I spent a lot of time watching "Unsolved Mysteries" and varying sci-fi related television. I think in my adolescence I decided that entertainment should be synonymous with "hilarity" and nothing else wou/…

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I really wish I was a lot happier about today. When this whole possiblity of universal health care began discussion in the middle of 2009, I was wrought with smiles and sparkles. The sun shone lovingly upon congress and liberals like I existed in a haze of "what could be"… Read full post »

I rarely post the work of others, because I feel a bit plagiaristy about it. However, I find this far too amazing a gem to keep to myself.

Many of you are probably familiar with Dr. Laura and her rather strict theories on life, love, family and more. These strict theories are… Read full post »

I like my job. I like what I do, as a skill and general effort. However, like any job, it can get mundane as one gets better at it. I can do my job efficiently and proactively with a bitchin' hangover or with the flu. So I'd give myself a solid… Read full post »

I haven't been able to write a blog since November 30th. This saddens me greatly. Here I sit, crying big salty tears into my cup'o'water with emergen-c in it. Then I will some left overs from a party I attended last week and ten consider digging into a half consumed bottle… Read full post »

I have a problem. It's gestating by the a person I know who is generally quite skilled at solving problems. This person is dad.

If I have a non-dad appointed problem (either involves sexiness or I can figure it out myself) I ruminate on it, I pontificate, I go for a… Read full post »

I recall Bill O'Reilly's reaction to San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's rogue legalization of gay marriage in the city in 2004. He likened this independent effort to take action into the hands of a heavily homo-populated city as a severe slippery slope that would of course end in the legalizat… Read full post »

My dad and I don't see eye to eye politically. In fact, I'm pretty sure he's not looking at eyes, he's looking at balls or something nether organ and pretending that it's the ocular organ. Regardless, I love him just the same. I also don't mind some good political banter now… Read full post »

My view of myself is quite askew, my fiance knows this well and puts up with it triumphantly. I'd like to say this is merit of a true man, to allow me to comment on my generally mild body dysmorphic disorder and not tell me to shut up, but reply with… Read full post »

I understand some things. Like gravity. I know that pi is 3.14. I know that h2o is two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen. I know that Barack Obama is a president as a result of American backlash to the GOP. I also know that the GOP is using the term… Read full post »

I'm newly engaged. Which, because I'm an easily amused and obsessed pessimist, means that I am not obsessed with my wedding - but rather issues that can and do affect married people. If you're married, or have been, you're probably already way ahead of me and you are probably already bored… Read full post »

I'm an extremely negative and forward thinking person. I'm also about to get married. My life is, quite frankly, the best it could possibly be at this exact moment. I guess there could be the leprechaun constantly handing me money or something, but that I'll keep for my warm snuggy sleep… Read full post »

I try very hard to keep my work life separate from this blog. I don't care to have the two intermingle, mainly due to the extremely conservative nature of my workplace and my irreverent use of the English language in this blog. The two crossing swords in an eye-meets text clash… Read full post »

When I first heard of this alleged "Lady", an adjective used to describe "Gaga", I assumed this songstress was a transvestite that had somehow made in the big time. I assumed this because of the overtly femme name as well as a very strong and robust, albeit quality, vocal tone.

I don't… Read full post »

France, I was really excited for you.

France, you had so much hope glistening in your judicial eye.

France, of all the things you gave us - philosophy, Braille, the stethoscope, and the totally bitchin' gyroscope, something for republicans to project their discontent at from 2002 - 2008 - you co… Read full post »

 

Usually, I wouldn't post about something as an "update". I make an effort not to post thoughts or information that has not potentially pre-empted my thought process, but today brings an exception. Today, is October 26th, 2009. Today is the day before the Church of Scientology may be dis… Read full post »

When I was in macroeconomics class in college, I was a bit of a teacher's pet. Oh fine, I was a fucking kiss ass. Oh how I loved guns and butter, supply and demand, elasticity, inelasticity and public policy. This lead to many after-class conversations about such concepts as marijuana legaliza… Read full post »