My view of myself is quite askew, my fiance knows this well and puts up with it triumphantly. I'd like to say this is merit of a true man, to allow me to comment on my generally mild body dysmorphic disorder and not tell me to shut up, but reply with… Read full post »

I understand some things. Like gravity. I know that pi is 3.14. I know that h2o is two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen. I know that Barack Obama is a president as a result of American backlash to the GOP. I also know that the GOP is using the term… Read full post »

I'm newly engaged. Which, because I'm an easily amused and obsessed pessimist, means that I am not obsessed with my wedding - but rather issues that can and do affect married people. If you're married, or have been, you're probably already way ahead of me and you are probably already bored… Read full post »

I'm an extremely negative and forward thinking person. I'm also about to get married. My life is, quite frankly, the best it could possibly be at this exact moment. I guess there could be the leprechaun constantly handing me money or something, but that I'll keep for my warm snuggy sleep… Read full post »

I try very hard to keep my work life separate from this blog. I don't care to have the two intermingle, mainly due to the extremely conservative nature of my workplace and my irreverent use of the English language in this blog. The two crossing swords in an eye-meets text clash… Read full post »

When I first heard of this alleged "Lady", an adjective used to describe "Gaga", I assumed this songstress was a transvestite that had somehow made in the big time. I assumed this because of the overtly femme name as well as a very strong and robust, albeit quality, vocal tone.

I don't… Read full post »

France, I was really excited for you.

France, you had so much hope glistening in your judicial eye.

France, of all the things you gave us - philosophy, Braille, the stethoscope, and the totally bitchin' gyroscope, something for republicans to project their discontent at from 2002 - 2008 - you co… Read full post »

Usually, I wouldn't post about something as an "update". I make an effort not to post thoughts or information that has not potentially pre-empted my thought process, but today brings an exception. Today, is October 26th, 2009. Today is the day before the Church of Scientology may be dis… Read full post »

When I was in macroeconomics class in college, I was a bit of a teacher's pet. Oh fine, I was a fucking kiss ass. Oh how I loved guns and butter, supply and demand, elasticity, inelasticity and public policy. This lead to many after-class conversations about such concepts as marijuana legaliza… Read full post »

I think we're all aware that compatriots and puppeteers in media are mostly interested in conspiring to make women feel badly about themselves so that they can bend their wallets to their every whim.

Yes, of this, we are all aware.

Models in women's magazines (portraying what is nearly impossibl… Read full post »

All my life I've had this rather cumbersome knack for being the polar opposite of whatever "normal" is for a specific trait or situation. By different I mean that I will have a guaranteed preponderance towards the severe opposite of whatever a stereotype is. If I suspect someone will see me… Read full post »

People think a lot of things about California. It's the Golden State, it's corrupt, it's full of celebrities and celebutants, it's the home of the liberal elite, it's the home of electric cars, Silicon Valley, it's the home of the wealthiest rat bastards in America, and sometimes - it's a land… Read full post »

When I was a youngster, I was a republican. I was a republican because my dad was a republican. From his perspective and our semi-privileged living situation, it really was the way to go. It would have been traumatizing to our finances to have to pay more in tax and get… Read full post »

There is of course the obvious reason, that hits home for all of us ladies a little bit: I want to get married.

But there is something else, it's kind of like shopping, it's my horrible guilty little pleasure. When my boyfriend walks in the room to see me salivating while Bridezillas… Read full post »

If there were to be one star emerging from the McCain/Palin 2008 clusterfuck to meteoric mediocrity, I never would have imagined it would be the sperm donor to Bristol - Levi Johnston.

 While Bristol is at home forced into being a martyr to her mother's pro-life cause (read: tending to th… Read full post »

Last year, at the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards, British comedian and all around idol Russell Brand evoked Obama as the obvious choice for president. He won. This year, Mr. Brand taking his position as pop-culture political whip, took his VMA hosting gig as an opportunity to trumpet the need for… Read full post »

I hate bees.

I abhor those nasty little buggers. I am not allergic to them, however, isn't everyone a little bit? They can sting the shit out of us. They each have a biological apparatus (read: stinger) designed specifically for making us back the fuck off. Whether or not we meant to… Read full post »

Annually, my parents and I take a short vacation to northern Montana to visit my grandfather. This persnickety old bugger lives half the year in Montana and the other half in New Zealand (of course, the better perennial halves of both years, he wouldn't have it any other way.) Most family… Read full post »

I was indoctrinated into conservatism.  As a family, we basically bible-humped the Wealth of Nations. I must clarify at this point, it was the whole fiscal part of it, not the Jesus thing that is somewhat synonymous with present-day conservatism (which had not yet been invented when I was in the… Read full post »

In the grip of the highest unemployment rate in 26 years, isn't it time to examine why this is the case? Seems to me that we should be able to take some learning from those that are much wiser, much more nimble, and much more learned than these United States. Maybe...Japan...… Read full post »

Last night my friend texted me, "Let's start a rumor that Dick Cheney is dead." My immediate reaction was a powerful malicious scoff, bursting with joy that at the hypothetical pipe-dream of a Cheney-less world. Then I felt a bit bad about falsely reporting that someone was dead - anyone -… Read full post »

My father is a mechanical engineer. Quite a brilliant one at that. A topic of discussion throughout my childhood and my life has always been technology - primarily transportation technology. His specialty, and one we are all slaves to. He is particularly interested in alternative energy, not b… Read full post »

...and millions of girls across the country would wet their panties and follow with a hurling of them at you and your back up dancers. But you don't care. You're perfectly happy with beating and frightening the hell out of the famous and unbelievably swanky and good lookin' one you've already… Read full post »

I started getting tattoos on my eighteenth birthday. I was immersed in a subculture in which is was commonplace and expected to get tattoos - some may know this subculture as "straight edge".  Frankly all of my generation are in a general sense part of the same type of subculture -… Read full post »

There is only one thing that rivals my distaste for Twitter and it is known on the interweb as "Speidi". In fact I think...wait. I may hate it more. let me check...

- Ruining society by false ideals: check
- Ruining society with poor communication methods: check
- Cheapening people: check
- Slutti… Read full post »