Asta Charles

Asta Charles
Los Angeles, California, USA
December 12
Myth Maker
A foul-mouthed commentator on life, society, politics, pop culture, and economics. I spend a lot of time in bars. I wrote a manuscript about the perils of online dating and its ultimate cost to society. It's not published. Meh.


Amore de burro

I really wish I was a lot happier about today. When this whole possiblity of universal health care began discussion in the middle of 2009, I was wrought with smiles and sparkles. The sun shone lovingly upon congress and liberals like I existed in a haze of "what could be"… Read full post »

DECEMBER 20, 2009 9:28PM

Calling Out Dr. Laura's Bible Thumping

I rarely post the work of others, because I feel a bit plagiaristy about it. However, I find this far too amazing a gem to keep to myself.

Many of you are probably familiar with Dr. Laura and her rather strict theories on life, love, family and more. These strict theories are… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 17, 2009 2:37AM

Fun Times Office Games

I like my job. I like what I do, as a skill and general effort. However, like any job, it can get mundane as one gets better at it. I can do my job efficiently and proactively with a bitchin' hangover or with the flu. So I'd give myself a solid… Read full post »

I haven't been able to write a blog since November 30th. This saddens me greatly. Here I sit, crying big salty tears into my cup'o'water with emergen-c in it. Then I will some left overs from a party I attended last week and ten consider digging into a half consumed bottle… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
DECEMBER 1, 2009 2:52AM

Father of the Bride Syndrome

I have a problem. It's gestating by the a person I know who is generally quite skilled at solving problems. This person is dad.

If I have a non-dad appointed problem (either involves sexiness or I can figure it out myself) I ruminate on it, I pontificate, I go for a… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 28, 2009 4:18PM

Gay Marriage 'n' Video Games

I recall Bill O'Reilly's reaction to San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom's rogue legalization of gay marriage in the city in 2004. He likened this independent effort to take action into the hands of a heavily homo-populated city as a severe slippery slope that would of course end in the legalizat… Read full post »

My dad and I don't see eye to eye politically. In fact, I'm pretty sure he's not looking at eyes, he's looking at balls or something nether organ and pretending that it's the ocular organ. Regardless, I love him just the same. I also don't mind some good political banter now… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 23, 2009 2:59AM

Cruel, Dysmorphic, Feminist Intentions

My view of myself is quite askew, my fiance knows this well and puts up with it triumphantly. I'd like to say this is merit of a true man, to allow me to comment on my generally mild body dysmorphic disorder and not tell me to shut up, but reply with… Read full post »

I understand some things. Like gravity. I know that pi is 3.14. I know that h2o is two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen. I know that Barack Obama is a president as a result of American backlash to the GOP. I also know that the GOP is using the term… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
NOVEMBER 16, 2009 2:42AM

Oh my! Monogamy!

I'm newly engaged. Which, because I'm an easily amused and obsessed pessimist, means that I am not obsessed with my wedding - but rather issues that can and do affect married people. If you're married, or have been, you're probably already way ahead of me and you are probably already bored… Read full post »

I'm an extremely negative and forward thinking person. I'm also about to get married. My life is, quite frankly, the best it could possibly be at this exact moment. I guess there could be the leprechaun constantly handing me money or something, but that I'll keep for my warm snuggy sleep… Read full post »

NOVEMBER 10, 2009 2:17AM

The Social Media Marketer's Manifesto

I try very hard to keep my work life separate from this blog. I don't care to have the two intermingle, mainly due to the extremely conservative nature of my workplace and my irreverent use of the English language in this blog. The two crossing swords in an eye-meets text clash… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
OCTOBER 30, 2009 2:22AM

Why it's okay for your daughters to admire Lady Gaga

When I first heard of this alleged "Lady", an adjective used to describe "Gaga", I assumed this songstress was a transvestite that had somehow made in the big time. I assumed this because of the overtly femme name as well as a very strong and robust, albeit quality, vocal tone.

I don't… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
OCTOBER 28, 2009 1:21AM

French Court Rules Church of Scientology Guilty of Fraud

France, I was really excited for you.

France, you had so much hope glistening in your judicial eye.

France, of all the things you gave us - philosophy, Braille, the stethoscope, and the totally bitchin' gyroscope, something for republicans to project their discontent at from 2002 - 2008 - you co… Read full post »

This is what Scientologists actually believe. 

Usually, I wouldn't post about something as an "update". I make an effort not to post thoughts or information that has not potentially pre-empted my thought process, but today brings an exception. Today, is October 26th, 2009. Today is the day before the Church of Scientology may be disRead full post »

Editor’s Pick
OCTOBER 21, 2009 12:21AM

Weed: Shall Ye Be California's Savior?

When I was in macroeconomics class in college, I was a bit of a teacher's pet. Oh fine, I was a fucking kiss ass. Oh how I loved guns and butter, supply and demand, elasticity, inelasticity and public policy. This lead to many after-class conversations about such concepts as marijuana legaliza… Read full post »

I think we're all aware that compatriots and puppeteers in media are mostly interested in conspiring to make women feel badly about themselves so that they can bend their wallets to their every whim.

Yes, of this, we are all aware.

Models in women's magazines (portraying what is nearly impossibl… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
OCTOBER 14, 2009 11:35PM

Coming to Terms with Being Marriagable

All my life I've had this rather cumbersome knack for being the polar opposite of whatever "normal" is for a specific trait or situation. By different I mean that I will have a guaranteed preponderance towards the severe opposite of whatever a stereotype is. If I suspect someone will see me… Read full post »

OCTOBER 8, 2009 11:47PM

California Schemin'

People think a lot of things about California. It's the Golden State, it's corrupt, it's full of celebrities and celebutants, it's the home of the liberal elite, it's the home of electric cars, Silicon Valley, it's the home of the wealthiest rat bastards in America, and sometimes - it's a land… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 30, 2009 9:42PM

Alan Grayson, Barney Frank: I'm smiling because I like you

When I was a youngster, I was a republican. I was a republican because my dad was a republican. From his perspective and our semi-privileged living situation, it really was the way to go. It would have been traumatizing to our finances to have to pay more in tax and get… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 29, 2009 2:13AM

Why the Hell am I Obsessed with Wedding Television?

There is of course the obvious reason, that hits home for all of us ladies a little bit: I want to get married.

But there is something else, it's kind of like shopping, it's my horrible guilty little pleasure. When my boyfriend walks in the room to see me salivating while BridezillasRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 19, 2009 2:49PM

Levi Johnston is a Gay Icon

If there were to be one star emerging from the McCain/Palin 2008 clusterfuck to meteoric mediocrity, I never would have imagined it would be the sperm donor to Bristol - Levi Johnston.

 While Bristol is at home forced into being a martyr to her mother's pro-life cause (read: tending to th… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 16, 2009 7:07PM

Three Reasons the Baucus Plan is a Failure

Last year, at the 2008 MTV Video Music Awards, British comedian and all around idol Russell Brand evoked Obama as the obvious choice for president. He won. This year, Mr. Brand taking his position as pop-culture political whip, took his VMA hosting gig as an opportunity to trumpet the need forRead full post »

I hate bees.

I abhor those nasty little buggers. I am not allergic to them, however, isn't everyone a little bit? They can sting the shit out of us. They each have a biological apparatus (read: stinger) designed specifically for making us back the fuck off. Whether or not we meant to… Read full post »

Editor’s Pick
SEPTEMBER 14, 2009 12:37AM

Maced in Montana

Annually, my parents and I take a short vacation to northern Montana to visit my grandfather. This persnickety old bugger lives half the year in Montana and the other half in New Zealand (of course, the better perennial halves of both years, he wouldn't have it any other way.) Most family… Read full post »