Athena Bradford

Athena Bradford
Location
Atlanta, Georgia, US
Birthday
November 07
Bio
Athena Bradford is a writer, explorer, researcher, and the author of “The Intelligent Woman’s Guide to Vibrators.” She suffers from delusions of candor and longs for days when there is no embargo on pleasure.

MY RECENT POSTS

JULY 5, 2009 11:35AM

When is a Vibrator not a Vibrator? When it's a Toothbrush

Rate: 20 Flag

Apparently nobody told vibrator manufacturers that a rose is a rose is rose because they keep coming up with disguises and multi-tasking models. In some areas of my life, I love dual-purpose products.  I’m thrilled to learn from the good folks at Real Simple that rubbing alcohol removes ballpoint ink and that lemon juice will whiten my nails.  But when it comes to sex, I want a vibrator that works its magic and then goes back in the toy chest (OK, in my case it’s a steamer trunk.)

 There are great models to choose from, so why are we inundated with multi-function gadgets?  I don’t want a pen with a vibrating eraser. Nor am I interested in an all-in-one vibrator, keychain and flashlight.  (Now where did I leave those Keys???). 0105200-b

 The most recent offenders are the Tingle Tip and Brush Bunny.  I stumbled upon these products when I was doing research for my vibrator book, and my mood quickly shifted from carnal to cranky.  Why?

 Because these products TURN YOUR ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH INTO A VIBRATOR.

Tingle Tiptingletip_2

 Yes, you read that correctly.  The Brush Bunny fits over the top of the brush, whereas the Tingle Tip “fits directly on to your electric toothbrush with patent-pending technology to deliver orgasmic vibrations.”  Both products suggest liberally applying lube before use and washing thoroughly in warm water afterwards.   Brush-Bunny-ST22109-01Brush Bunny

 Now I’m fastidious about proper dental care. I wonder, therefore, how I could ever take the same device that I use twice a day for oral hygience and apply it the to the contours of my vulva. For me, even though they promise to keep things “fresh down below,”  the eeeww factor guarantees a bad case of receding cums. I can’t even wrap my wooly brain around the double entrende  “we have to fill that cavity” and the emotions that phrase would now elicit. 

 I suppose the good news is that you’d only need one set of directions for both the Tingle Tip and the Electric tooth brush.

ü     Proper oral irrigation is essential. 

ü     Use at a least twice a day.

ü     Make sure your brush is always properly charged

ü     Place the head at a 35-degree angle

ü     Move the brush up and down gently in short strokes.

ü     Use the “”toe” to clean the inside surfaces using a gentle up-and-down strokes. 

ü     Apply to outer and inner surfaces to remove unsavory bacteria.  Check and Mate.

If you're interested in experimenting buy the low end Oral B toothbrushes, e.g. Triumph and Vitality, and skip the more expensive models.  These pause every thirty seconds and at the 2-minute mark.  Trust me, climaxing does not do well with clitoral interruptus. 

 Here’s my advice—forget the the Tingle Tip and the damn bunny and buy yourself an Eroscillator, a true grown-up vibe.  It’s the one vibe I’d take if my house caught fire, and after every use I bow down to Our Lady of the Screaming Orgasm.  

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Comments

Type your comment below:
If it could floss my vagina, I'd be thrilled.
You come up with truly incredible stuff. Do manufacturers send you products for pre-market testing? Fascinating.
OMG I love my Eroscillator. I'm not into the combo swiss army knife, can opener, vib all in one either lol. Rated
Thank you for the great Sunday morning laugh. American enterprise never ceases to amaze me, God Bless America, indeed!

What is the scoop on the Eroscillator? I am intrigued by your declaration that this is the one you'd save in the event of a fire, hmm.
I just want a wireless remote control one, not a dual function in sight.

Very funny and weird.
I wonder if there is anywhere else you could...(gulp)...use it?
Um, yeah. Interruptus is just bad . . . just . . . bad. Objects have been thrown over interruptus.
@ablonde, I promise to write a post devoted to the Eroscillator,
@Harp, I'm a toy tester for several companies--you can't even imagine the stuff that comes my way.
@Duaneart, If you figure that out, please, please don't tell me. My imagination is already working overtime on this.
This is pornography. I'm tempted to flag this post (except I keep wanting to read more... and more... and more... and...)
@Steve Blevins. Steve you should try it. I got rejected from all of the extra ads due to the adult nature of my blog. That's one way to do it!
I'll be looking for some spice in your next post.
Knowing me, I'd get my KY mixed up with my toothpaste.
Athena,
I am glad that you have put a focus on some of the "new Technology" long promised, but delayed because of the war. Now that the war is winding down to a dribble or a drabble here & there, and our resources can be put where they should be: toward increasing the sexual pleasure of the chicks
o they aint so frustrated & irritable
and they are nicer to us sillly stupid
apey men....who really just want to be in loving contact
with all these twitchy itchy
snappy
snappy gals...

ach! they all tellus what to do all they time,
we do it,
then something else...

thank goodness some MAN invented
this new shit...

should give the guy a Nobel Peace fuckin Prize,
say i...

JME
Guess it could be worse, COMBO VIBRATOR/TOILET BOWL BRUSH!! EEK!!

:)

Rated, of course!!!!
This was too, too funny. "the eeeww factor guarantees a bad case of receding cums." Of course, the real problem is that the vagina is the cleanest opening in the human body, the mouth the dirtiest. But perhaps that's your point? Oh, but would that mean I should give up one of my favorite activities? (Shhh.... don't tell anyone!) Rated!
now googling Eroscillator. :)
That key chain vibrator seems like a brilliant stroke of genius. What about those times when you're stuck in traffic?
And the bunny also makes a great gum massager.
I don't know whether to laugh or say just say ewww! Actually, I'm laughing my arse off but there is indeed an ewww factor here. Knowing that there is someone out there that actually thinks these are GREAT ideas just gives me warm fuzzies too. hahaha....

Looking very forward to your eroscillator post! :D
i wanna know where you got the flashlight--i want one. does it have a remote, in case i can't find it? now that would be worth something...i've also heard of women using vibrators while they drive...could be dangerous. although just noticed i'm not the only one who wants to diddle during traffic jams...say, how does one get the job of toy reviewer? i want one of those, too....rated of course.
omygod, just got that--"now where did i leave my keys???"....oooooh. the scent factor...and combo toilet brush?!?! ooooh, yucky. big yucky.
Here's the scoop on becoming a toy reviewer. You sign up with Babeland and Goodvibes, which means that you agree to post their banner on your site. You also need to become an affiliate for some sites--not a big deal--and you'll get periodic emails about the available goodies. Because I interview a lot of manufacturers, I'm often the lucky recipient of the newest models (Just got Eve from SINFive this week) and my door handcuffs should be arriving anyday. In return, you post reviews on the store's site. Send me a PM if you have more questions.