Note that this list does not include the comforting reassurance that our kids will take care of us in our old age. They’ve made it clear that we can forget about that! 

15.       Enjoying otherwise unseen treats. Because we had kids, I had an excuse to watch a string of great shows, starting with Sesame Street and Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood and then moving through Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Animaniacs, and Pinky and the Brain, which I would not have had the good fortune to see without the kids. More recently, they have turned us on to Strong Bad and Red Vs. Blue, which would have similarly been otherwise unseen and unenjoyed.

14.       Playing with Legos. This would have been higher on the list years ago, but it’s been a while, so it’s dropped down. Also, nowadays I really wouldn’t want to be on the floor building stuff with our sons quite so often. I probably wouldn’t be able to get up. Still, the chance to build ships and spaceships, castles and woodsmen’s lairs along with our boys was a real joy. (On the other hand, stepping on a Lego with bare feet at five in the morning as you’re stumbling into the kitchen to make coffee is not a pleasant experience.) 

13.       Being exposed to good bands. Without them, I probably wouldn’t have heard Dave Matthews, Oasis, Snow Patrol, Weezer, or others.  

12.       Making use of “TIASA.” When our kids were little, they sometimes got into silly little kid spats—you know, the “I had it first” kind of stuff. My wife developed a response mechanism aimed at preventing the situation from escalating. When she detected the beginning of one of these foolish tiffs, she would say, “TIASA,” which stood for “This Is A Stupid Argument.” Generally, that would be enough to nip it in the bud, though not always.             At any rate, the success of the strategy with them isn’t the point. The acronym proved a handy tool for me. When growing frustrated by someone’s attitude at work, or within the family, I could say to myself “TIASA,” and calm down. If it hadn’t been for the kids, and my wife, I wouldn’t have had that reminder. 

11.       Sharing favorites. From George Carlin, Tom Lehrer, and the Marx Brothers to Star Trek, Casablanca, and The Prisoner, it was fun to turn them on to things we enjoyed. Now we benefit when they tell us to check out a movie or a book or a show. Kids are great—they’re like a small book club! 

10.       Learning more Spanish. Because my wife is Hispanic, we wanted the kids to learn Spanish. Teaching them the language helped me expand my vocabulary. For instance, when Number One Son became obsessed with trucks at age two, I learned how to say, in Spanish, every kind of truck there is. They don't teac that in Spanish 100. ¡Gracias! 

9.         Having tech support. Technology is a wonderful thing nowadays, but it confuses the hell out of me. Fortunately, I have two troubleshooters who can explain things like how to Internet and what a Google is. 

8.         Getting backup from portable memory. Our kids are like flash drives. When my hard disk spins and spins, unable to come up with the actor, the movie, the line from the book, the name of the restaurant, or the year we did something, they can be counted on to access the otherwise hidden information. Of course, my wife has long performed this function, reminding me of stories about my family that she has retained even though she heard them fewer times than I have. (Or did she make them up?) But the kids have amassed different databases than she has, so they’re handy. 

7.         Having family traditions. Having kids creates more opportunities for family traditions: birthday meals, seasonal decorations, special dishes, reading the nativity story while opening the windows of the Advent calendar, playing certain games, and sharing certain catch-phrases. And our Friday night pizza-fest accompanied by the double dose of guilty pleasures, Hercules and Xena remain dear to me, though long gone. All these rituals, and more, cement the love we feel for each other. 

6.         Sharing sports. I mean, my wife will catch a few innings from time to time, but she doesn’t get into a game with the same gusto as Thing 1. For both of us, the Phils’ moment of triumph last year shined the brighter because seared into our memory was the picture of Joe Carter cavorting around the bases at SkyDome 15 years before. And when Harry Kalas died last April, we consoled each other by phone. 

            (Also, the fact that he plays fantasy baseball, which I don't, makes me feel just a little less dorky.)  

5.         Seeing a powerful mind at work. Thing 2 has an incredibly fertile imagination and frequently astounds us with his new ideas for a character or a plot or a twist on a familiar literary motif. It’s fun to have such an inventive storyteller around. And when he gets rolling with an argument, his mental powers are awesome. Frustrating when you’re on the other side and actually have something invested in the argument, but formidable. 

4.         Reading together. Once it was The Little Engine That Could and "Frog and Toad." Then we did The Phantom Tollbooth and the A Stitch in Time series. Tolkien followed, as did Haroun and the Sea of Stories. Later, we shared Harry Potter. Even now, if we’re not reading books aloud, we can still talk about the same books. Both our sons have phenomenal memories (especially the younger, who can quote verbatim passages he read years ago) but also sharp insights into character and an ear for style. It’s fun to hear them hold forth.  

3.         Learning to adapt. Our boys are two radically different people. Any remote thought that what worked with one might work with another quickly evaporated in the face of the reality of their different characters and perspectives on life. And that’s a good thing, for them and for us.  

2.         Seeing the A-Team at work. Though they are so different people, the boys work together in seamless ways that are dazzling to watch. We've seen them nail Taboo words with one clue, negotiate the defenses when playing a video game in tandem, and teach a karate class together (in which they earned the sobriquet “A-Team”), all examples of brotherly performance art. When they were very young, neither ever told tales on the other; they were a united front. Now that they are older, each knows that the other has his back.

  1.         Watching two great people. The greatest pleasure, of course, is to see the wonderful young men that our two little boys have become. Smart, clever, humble, caring, thoughtful, funny, loving. And good cooks.            

I don’t only love them, I like them. I don’t merely like them, I admire them.

               When our oldest was a senior in high school, our younger son was a freshman. Number One Son drove them back and forth to school. One day, they were stopped at a red light. Driver son was looking down when the light changed green. The driver behind him, a woman taking her daughter home from school, accelerated before he did and rammed into the back of our car, making the trunk look like an accordion. How did they respond? After the initial shock, they got out and walked back to the car that had rammed into ours to find out if the woman and any passengers she had were alright. 

           After they called to tell us of the accident, we drove over to collect them. We ended up having dinner in that town to give them a chance to wind down. Though neither was hurt, they were a bit shaken: first accident and all. When we got back home, it was several hours after the accident. There was a message on our answering machine from the woman driver. After apologizing for causing the accident, she praised our guys for their thoughtfulness and decency and consideration. Then, basically, she asked if they wanted to take her daughters out. 

            Great kids. That’s all I can say. Thanks, boys, for my Father’s Day! I couldn’t have done it without you!  

* 16, really, because another reason I'm glad I'm a dad is that our kids are willing to wile away the time making silly lists like this one!