A Foggy Day: Three Haiku

The AtHome Pilgrim

Musings at a Slower Pace

AtHomePilgrim

Location: Philly area, Pennsylvania, USA

Company: Searchers

Bio: "Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita," I find myself still asking some of the same questions I did when I was just a punk kid. The Big Things confuse me. Fortunately, though, many little things delight and amuse me, and some Big Things--my wife, our kids, our bird and bunny visitors, food, baseball--make me very, very happy. In my pilgrimage, I try to be guided by the wisdom of dear old Auntie Mame: "Life is a banquet!"

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Miscellaneous Entries: 10 (12) Things I Love About Spring; 10 Things I Love About Summer; 10 Favorite Things About Autumn; 10 Things I Grudgingly Accept About Winter; Appreciating Books; 25 Books That Influenced My Life; Favorite Spanish Words and Phrases; What Writing Means to Me; First Post: Explaining the Pilgrimage

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SEPTEMBER 21, 2011 9:39AM

Rate: 17 Flag

Morning fog hugs world
Still air envelops branches
Burned by rising sun

War fog crashes loud
Tumult, jagged edges, pain
Burned by raging fear

Confusion of mind
Jolts, rocks, assails, unhinges,
Burned by nagging doubts

Author tags:

poetry, he thinks, maybe he thinks too much, too bad it wasn't in london town

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Comments

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I particularly like haiku 2, line 3 rated.

Jonathan Wolfman

September 21, 2011 09:46 AM

This is such a great comparison. For a foggy subject, you have great clarity!
Excellent~

Susie Lindau

September 21, 2011 09:47 AM

I wish I could stay in the peaceful first haiku, but the powerful words of the 2nd and 3rd shocked me back to reality. There's something so pleasing about a haiku--the way the words fit neatly into the prescribed syllables.

Karin Greenberg

September 21, 2011 09:50 AM

I like this–comparative haiku. Someday I will tell you about the time the Zen poet painter priest tore up my haiku attempts and threw them on the ground in a fit of pique. I'd written about flying eucalyptus trees, which apparently is unacceptable according to Japanese haiku tradition.

greenheron

September 21, 2011 10:48 AM

Totally rated, and I will be mulling these lines today.

Owl_Says_Who

September 21, 2011 11:00 AM

Wonderful.

Mark Van Aken Williams

September 21, 2011 11:41 AM

the fog!

ume

September 21, 2011 11:48 AM

AtHomePilgrim,
What a lovely haiku!

Diary of a Hopeful Starving Student

September 21, 2011 12:14 PM

Love your treatment of these three versions of fog.

Sarah Cavanaugh

September 21, 2011 12:24 PM

lovely, sad and powerfilled.

Mimetalker

September 21, 2011 12:46 PM

I love these haikus!
Lovely comparisons here.
Rated for context.

--R--

dunniteowl

September 21, 2011 02:00 PM

I command you on your use of prosody, Pilgrim. I like the first the best for the manner in which fog disappears.
♥R

FusunA

September 21, 2011 02:04 PM

I love these Haiku, It was foggy here yesterday and today I have, as William Blake said "Foggy doubts of reason"
rated with love

RomanticPoetess

September 21, 2011 04:54 PM

JW: Thanx

Susie: I'm clear about my lack of clarity.

Karin: After I reviewed the first line of poem 1, I realized I had nine syllables. OOPS!

heron: And that didn't convince you that there was a fundamental problem with Buddhism? Because it sure does me! (Doot, doot, doot, lookin' out my back door . . . .)

Owl: Probably not good for your health.

Mark: Thanks.

ume: It's everywhere. . . .

DSSS, Sarah: Thank you!

Mime: Power? Not so sure.

dunnite: You honor me.

Fusun: Whereas in the second and third, it lingers . . .

Rom P: Didn't know that line from Blake. I suspect he was disgruntled that reason was employed: like him to distrust it. Not sure he was wrong. (Not sure he was right.)

AtHomePilgrim

September 21, 2011 08:08 PM

Pilgrim, no, not because it -[the fog]- "lingers" in the second and third, but because of the manner, i.e "Burned by raging fear", "Burned by nagging doubts" as opposed to "Burned by rising sun", that I like the first the best. That's the kind of fog I like in my simple world.

FusunA

September 22, 2011 11:08 AM

You've copyrighted just your words--mind if I steal the commas?

Jeff Maehre

September 22, 2011 11:25 AM

Living in a military community, I really understand the last two -- nagging doubts, tamped down as a nod toward patriotism and respect.

Bellwether Vance

September 22, 2011 09:38 PM

I sure can relate to this!

Chicago Guy

September 23, 2011 06:06 PM

Excellent!

Jaime Franchi

September 24, 2011 07:07 AM

Fusun: Gotcha.

Jeff: not theft if I permit it. (Funny line, by the way.)

Bell: Hmmmm. Makes my fog seem petty.

ChiGuy: I think I feel sorry for you then.

Jaime: Thanks!

AtHomePilgrim

September 25, 2011 06:57 AM