I just have to go there today after reading an article about men and sex. It's stuff like this that makes us want to take a survey at the end of the article isn't it? I've come up with my answers, you come up with yours.
I think that for men, the whole idea of good or better sex is laughable. Sex for men is like pizza, okay? You put ham on it, you put onions on it—all good. Ultimately, what matters is that we're there and that we'll do whatever particular things he's interested in.
Also, it matters that you're excited. We forget that what makes it great for the guy is to rock us, to see us excited about being with them.
Admittedly, part of that great feeling for him is thinking that he's doing something to make you want to have sex with him again.
What about oral sex?
Guys say there's no such thing as a bad blow job— if it's a blow job, it's good. They want you to show love to the phallus though, it's a reflection of your acceptance of them. What the heck, men are visual animals and there's nothing like a little head bobbing to get things going.
What about oral sex?
Guys say there's no such thing as a bad blow job— if it's a blow job, it's good. They want you to show love to the phallus though, it's a reflection of your acceptance of them. What the heck, men are visual animals and there's nothing like a little head bobbing to get things going.
Do some men prefer receiving oral sex to intercourse?
Yes. My sense is that those guys tend to be narcissistic. True intimacy requires reciprocity, and these guys are not so into that.
For all the girls and women that don't get this yet... If he were wearing a belt, you'd be a notch hole in it. Please, get off your knees and go get yourself a dose of respect, 'cause you ain't gettin any from that guy.
Let's talk about wandering eyes. Should women just get over it?
It's instinctive, but that's not to say it's the way a man has to behave. Sometimes the only way he'll change his behavior is if his woman requires it and even then, it's hit and miss. Men don't stop looking, they just get better at hiding it.
How hard is it for the average man to be monogamous?
Not that difficult. Listen, cheating injures your marriage, your wife, your children, and your bank account. Does a man need more motivation than that? In the end, it's a sense of closeness and intimacy that he's been able to have with one woman that keeps him on the straight and narrow. It's just too risky and too painful to lose it over a nooner. (I do think it's possible that risk is a factor somewhere in this equation but it messes up my conclusion).
When a man is having sex with a woman, what is he likely to be thinking about?
He's like a pilot landing a plane, zeroed in. What's going through his head is: I'm having sex, I'm having sex!
What are guys insecure about?
Am I good enough? Am I big enough? Am I doing this right? What they aren't worried about is, 'Is she faking it?' and they probably should be...just a little.
Am I good enough? Am I big enough? Am I doing this right? What they aren't worried about is, 'Is she faking it?' and they probably should be...just a little.
Do guys exchange notes like women do?
They talk a little among themselves, but from what I've seen, a guy will work things out with one woman and apply what he's learned to everybody else... then he's dumbstruck when his hat trick doesn't work with everybody else. Guys would be much better off exchanging notes with women.
They talk a little among themselves, but from what I've seen, a guy will work things out with one woman and apply what he's learned to everybody else... then he's dumbstruck when his hat trick doesn't work with everybody else. Guys would be much better off exchanging notes with women.
Are men threatened by female sexuality?
If a woman comes on to a guy, he could not be happier. Period. If he's attracted to her, even better. Now, when it's over, he's going to go, "I wonder if she does that with other guys?", and that's when he feels threatened. It's not about her sexuality with him, it's about her sexuality without him.
What's the one thing men don't want women to find out about them, ever?
Most men won't admit this, but it's how much they need women. They don't want us to know that having the power of "yes" or "no" means we hold the cards.
I'm going to say something, and you tell me how much of a turn-on it is for men, from 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest in terms of importance...
Bringing a woman to orgasm?
That's an absolute 10 for some men and a 1 for others, but we don't want to be messing with those other guys. On average, I'd say it's about an 8 or 9. It's important, but mostly because it reflects on their performance, not necessarily your enjoyment.
That's an absolute 10 for some men and a 1 for others, but we don't want to be messing with those other guys. On average, I'd say it's about an 8 or 9. It's important, but mostly because it reflects on their performance, not necessarily your enjoyment.
A woman talking dirty?
For some guys that's a 10, but the overall rating... about a 3. For the wrong guy, it's a 0 and a kick right out of the bed (same goes with spankies, ladies).
For some guys that's a 10, but the overall rating... about a 3. For the wrong guy, it's a 0 and a kick right out of the bed (same goes with spankies, ladies).
A woman who takes care of her body and gets herself 'fixed up' for a man?
That's an 8. No, a 10.
Flirting?
As long as it's with them, high marks: 9-10
With their best friend? Move along lil' sister before someone starts throwing punches.
Next, let's do the same thing with turnoffs, 10 being the biggest turnoff.
A woman who doesn't feel good about her body and whines about her looks?
That's up there in the turnoff category: 9-10
That's up there in the turnoff category: 9-10
Breast implants?
My research (cOugh!) says that for most guys the turnoff factor is about a 6, but we know there are plenty of guys who are into them, so I'm giving it a 60/40. This is debatable depending on the crowd (East coast/West coast, high school/law school, Miami/Portland.)
My research (cOugh!) says that for most guys the turnoff factor is about a 6, but we know there are plenty of guys who are into them, so I'm giving it a 60/40. This is debatable depending on the crowd (East coast/West coast, high school/law school, Miami/Portland.)
Calls a guy at home, texts him more than once?
Also a non-starter ladies: at least a 7, I don't care what your feminist gal pal tells you. Men are turned on by primitive things, like The Chase.
I'll give you ONE text just to get you to take the excuse that 'he doesn't know my number' right off the table. After that, run silent. If he wants you, he'll find you. Timing is more important that we ever give credit to.
Just one more question. How do you like your pizza?
A rich sauce, spiced up with some peppers, some nice hot Italian pepperoni, and regular crust—emphasis on the regular.
A rich sauce, spiced up with some peppers, some nice hot Italian pepperoni, and regular crust—emphasis on the regular.
Am I wrong? Holla...
Credit goes to Dr. Drew Pinsky for inspiration and information. He covers this and much more in his radio talk show, Loveline.
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Janine Urbaniak
LuminousMuse
just phyllis for now
Molly Tennyson
dontbothertrying
Felicia Lee
Salon.com
Comments
True intimacy requires reciprocity, and these guys are not so into that.
HIGH FIVE.
rated with hugs
Lezlie
Most guys are too damned stupid to admit (or even think about) how much they need women in their person lives.
Good analysis all around, GA, are you a sex therapist? Perhaps you should be.
{[R]}
@ Leepin Larry: I ALWAYS order sausage pizza - with the sausage cut into fine slices. Plus I like those things that look sorta like mushroom caps too... Our local pizzeria calls it the Lorena Bobbitt special!
;~)
Someone send a sausage pizza over to Larry's.
Truth be known, this is probably the cause of more infidelity than anything. Call it Rule One. Men want to be with a woman who is turned on by them. If a woman stops being excited about being with her man, then every random woman in the office or at a bar who shows even a little interest becomes competition.
On the flip side, the man can't just eat and run, so to speak, if he wants to keep his woman fascinated in him. On average a woman requires 30 minutes of lovemaking to achieve orgasm, while for men the average is 7 minutes. In order to keep getting his 7 minutes, the man needs to be willing to keep investing the 30 - 60 - 90 minutes, whatever it takes, to make sure she is satisfied.
To men who seek my advice on relationships I offer this simple mantra... "Ladies First!"
If thin crust, then I'll take a Brooklyn Coal Fired Pizza Margarita, with fresh house made mozzarella that melts in a flash in the intense heat, fresh basil and tomato slices, on a base of a scant spoonful of intense sauce.
Ham does not belong on pizza. Pineapple even less. Pepperoni was foisted on an unsophisticated public because it was easy to make. Real Italian sweet sausage, aromatic with fennel, a scattering of garlic, sliced portobellos. 'Tis enough, for God's sake.
In my much younger single days, I seriously considered taping a small poster to the ceiling above the bed. It would have had four items on it.
1. I have never done it THIS way before.
2. My God, you are soooooo big!
3. Don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop.
There was another one, but I cannot recall it right now. My idea was to ask the lady simply to read those things repeatedly to me with as much emotion as she could muster. It was difficult to persuade some to say anything. A guy needs feedback.
I am past all that now, thank goodness.
This would be a good open call. My first instinct is to copy all the questions and do my own post, but instead I'll reply to this premise Abby.
"Sex for men is like pizza, okay? You put ham on it, you put onions on it—all good."
No Ma'am! That is soooo not true. As wonderful as it can be it can also be equally awkward. We sometimes find ourselves in these situations which seemed like a pretty good idea at the outset, only to find ourselves seeking the fire escape, or a nearby window no more than three stories from soft ground. As we are being ridden like a show pony by a once seemingly mild mannered secretary who has turned cowgirl, complete with chaps and lariat, we tend to close our eyes and plan whichever quick escape is least painful.
And of course that's a two-way street. The . . . uh . . . failure to launch that every guy has experienced, sometimes even at a young age if you don't eat right (if you don't like oysters, just take zinc) or take care of yourself (too little sleep, too much booze).
r
(...over it? must have a good woman now, yeah?)
Mr. Happy pointed earthward. Proceeded to the Cold Club. We both got poison ivy. Her ex-Marine husband noticed the outbreak in places that are normally covered and asked her "so, who you been rolling around in the brush with?"
Still traumatized over that one! She was absolutely hot, and I was not even drunk...
The various things of which you write here are more applicable to younger people, I think. The whole deal is more complex for them. With older couples it is a more business-like affair. Less complicated. That is not to say that it is necessarily any less romantic.
Older women are more straightforward. The older man's first task--emphasize "first task"--is to get her off at least once if that is at all possible. Take whatever time is necessary. Try anything and everything. Figure it out. Because that is what she is there for. That is the reason for her presence.
After that is taken care of, do whatever you yourself want. If you have taken care of her first, she will probably be receptive. An older woman tends to have this nagging fear that her last orgasm really was her last orgasm. Nice things then flow from her delight in finding that it was not.
I am no expert, mind you. Just the working theory of a journeyman. This all could be totally wrong.
i put a condom in my wallet in high school
just in case i got 'lucky'
do you think it's still good forty years later?
ok, I am here to tell you that that is not true. My first love (in a fit of pique) told me he was going to tell his best friend (who I had a crush on- we were 19) that I gave lousy blow jobs. It probably was true- I was new to everything. I'd kissed before, but...
Anyhow, it is possible to be bad at blow jobs. I'm getting the giggles just remembering one time a guy held my head in a car (he was an asshole, and lousy at any form of sex) it came out my nose and I gagged and almost threw up on his stomach-
*blech* I could do w/o the business myself. When someone asks for one I immediately soul clench and steel myself for the process, which I'm sure is not sexy.
Interesting read. =)
Lezlie
/// Monogamy, all about receptor thing mentioned earlier... Boredom is a cowardly excuse a poor receptor...///Insecurities, like the top scoop fallin' off your ice cream cone, never worth the worry, devour what's left...///Notes, female sexuality threat, dark secrets, ya' kiddin' right?///Happy ending for her important:).../// Talkin' dirty sorry, thats' just plain stupid shyte,,,/// After shootin' beautiful faces/bodies for years, I'm a big fan of natural beauty...///Flirting, please!/// Turn offs, ignorance...///Wine, love it... Whinnin', make it stop mom!///Implants, ridiculous...///Call me, don't be afraid, you can call me... I don'text...///I dig my pizza with company of course, I'll pick up wine... RRR
@ Brass, sounds like a man with a plan - glad to know there may be someone like you out there when I get there. Wherever that is.
Trig, if you can't be a shining example, be a huge cautionary tale, buddy!
Mr. Schanz, if you want to schanz it, I say go for it dude!
Julie? DAMN!
and David, thanks brother.
But green olives? Never.
Olives are perfectly acceptable preludes to something more exciting. There's that hole that can be filled with all kinds of exciting things... and some sharing that can go on... I'm on board with the olives guys.
Thank you :))
Truly loved the thoughts here, but when fact enters the equation, compulsion to reproduce is in our genetic makeup, and from there the plot thickens... Aww Rita, thanx for the smile!
It's at least 75-80 % accurate.
I'm not going to go into great detail, but I agreed with David Kinne except for the pizza. Ham and pineapple, easy on the cheese deep-dish Hawaiian is the supper of champions.
If it doesn't take all night you're just not trying hard (pun intended) enough.
Trig Palin nailed the whole secret heart of the male thing if we are fessin' up.
And Veronica Lodge articulated it.
My only input is watch the teeth, BJ's can be PAINFUL, and yes size does matter, but ladies everywhere should remember that it works both ways!
(R)ated for wisdom beyond your peers Gabby Abby!
"Why is the Jewish girl smiling as she walks down the aisle?" 'BECAUSE SHE KNOWS SHE'S GIVEN HER LAST BLOW JOB!" ha!
Gail, I think that would apply to ladies of all religious affiliation, and even those with none. Big smiles!
K