I have a phone conversation with my 77 year old mother pretty much every day.  Lately, they have taken an interesting turn...

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Me:  What do you mean you've just renewed your Concealed Weapons Permit?  What kind of weapon do you have?

Mom:  I have a blackjack next to me on the seat of the car.  If I get pulled over, they could arrest me.  It's a weapon.

Me:  So is a tire iron Mom.  

Mom:  So is a Colt 45.

Me:  I take it you aren't talking beer here...

Mom:  I'm talking about my Colt .45. I've had it for years. 

Me:  Is it loaded? More to the point, when have you ever fired a handgun?  What do you mean "years"??  Where has it been all this time?

Mom:  I'm not telling YOU.  It's my gun and I'm keeping it.

Me:  I know it's not in the glovebox in the car, and I've never seen a .45 sticking out of your purse, so why do you need a carry permit?

Mom:   I told you.  In case I get pulled over.

Me:  If the gun isn't in the car, that makes no sense.  

Mom:  You don't listen too well.  I have a blackjack.  Even if it's on the car seat they could say I was concealing it and I'm not taking any chances.

Me:  I feel like you've just ridden me full circle around the corral Mom. The permit for Concealed Weapons is for a gun.  If you don't carry the gun out of the house, you don't need a carry permit.

Mom:  A lot you know. This house has had two attempted break-ins and if you think I'm going to let them get in you're mistaken.  I'll go outside and shoot them first. So I need a permit.

Me:  ::silence::

Mom:  What? I suppose now you're going to go all Democrat on me.

Me:  No. I'm going to ask you to show me how well you can shoot down at the gun range. You don't even know if it works.

Mom: Oh, it works alright. Ask my brother.

Me:  How would Buddy know if your gun works?

Mom:  We were talking on the phone last week and blew a hole in the wall.

Me:  Mom. 

Mom:  ::silence::

Me:  What's the alarm code again?

Mom:  Never you mind.

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Stay tuned ...