... a little something extra thrown in

Gabby Abby

Gabby Abby
Florida, USA
December 31
I've had most of the jobs ~ daughter, student, wife, parent, employee, business owner and now once again, job seeker ~ but I'm still looking forward to lottery winner, retiree and regular blogger. Email welcome at gabbyabby.jax@gmail.com


Gabby Abby's Links

MARCH 24, 2011 1:47PM

B'Bye, thanks for coming, see ya 'round, good knowing you

Rate: 42 Flag

After reading Torman's post today I came back over to my own and banged out my response to the latest tempest in the OS teapot - maybe banged isn't exactly right, but here goes.

Torman says this...

"CK Dexterhaven and JK Brady...have long been favorites of mine and neither have done much blogging here in quite some time but now they swear they are leaving all together. I hate that." 

Now out of respect for David, a very fine man and a published writer himself, I saved my gut response for my own blog...

"Emma Peel is promising a flounce as well, but says she will stick around for a bit longer.  Promises, promises.  Either go or stay, or get a new avatar and reinvent a fake bio and get on with it. So much ado." 

"I'm current on the events and issues, and applaud Stellaa for a quiet departure, since that's what she'd made up her mind to do.  She didn't have to do it, and neither does anyone else.  No one is 'driven' off, in fact Stellaa and CK say they're sailing.  Bon voyage ladies. Torman will miss you."

I know, I know.

But now that that's off my chest, I miss the days when the feed was slammed with top shelf writing and rapier wits clashed while pirate parties were manned by the Gutter Krew on Friday nights.  I miss the firecracker exchanges and the feeling I had in knowing I was seeing some of the smartest, brightest writing in the blogosphere unfolding right in front of me as fast as I could refresh my screen. It was a little magical.

I miss that energy.  I don't miss the internecine wars that could go on for days (weeks), or the foul sh*t flinging and the bombastic chest beating that could only be imitated by a claque of 7th graders.  That level of vitriol hasn't been seen here in some time, although the repetitive spamming of blogs with comments is pretty juvie.

The current blip is the tail end of a long war that has been going on since the old days.  It was never going to end well.  As long as any of the players remain, it will go on.  Taking sides at this late date is superfluous and just fuels the flames.

We can agree on the premise that has surfaced as the reason du jour for the most recent leavetaking of some of the old guard.  I will stand up and say: No one is to be outed here, or a body slam will follow and your ISDN will be identified and all of your accounts will be deleted and the # blocked. I think that's reasonable and prudent and I hope Kerry reads this.  I'm not, however, taking sides in a two year old battle between sworn enemies.  I've got no dog in that race. 

I think we have to remember that those who have moved on have done so for their own reasons, from boredom to time constraints to better mental health. Whatever.

It's a complicated social construct going on here, dating back to the summer of '08 - barely 3 years.  In the beginning was the word, or words, of the 'firsties' who invented a new lexicon and set up patterns of interaction and formed relationships both in and out of the OS virtual boundaries. 

What needs to be remembered is, things change with growth.  They change with time.  Evolution and devolution rise and fall. 

Today I offer all the best to all who've left, are leaving, and will be leaving.  Godspeed in your new adventures, and I hope you won't miss us too much. 

If you do, you know what to do. 


Footnote:  Me? I'm not going anywhere. Not unless I get a car and a driver.

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I miss all those who have left, except one. You won't be able to guess though. You'd be wrong.
I completely agree. I said something similar in a comment. Nice post.
To misquote somebody or other: "You've got to stand for something or you stand for nothing." I see you've chosen the latter route. B'Bye, thanks for coming, see ya 'round, good knowing you.
Your "gut reaction" would have been welcomed. I see it as no disrespect to me, just your honest opinion and honesty is all I ever really ask for anyway. This was honest.
I have no idea of the history here. I do have an idea of some of the very excellent writing, and I have an appreciation for the goodwill I was accorded as a green newbie. I hope it comes back full circle.
I agree. I miss that energy too. And the energy that it helped provide my creativity and writing.
There are people whose writing I miss. There are new people here whose writing I enjoy. Here's hoping that those who have left have found soft places to land.
@ Nana, I think I've made it very clear that I stand for something. It may not be what you want me to be standing for, but I'm standing. I'm sorry you feel this way. I've always considered you a friend here.
I have yet to understand a single dust-up, except that it seems that some people take all of this shit entirely too seriously.
But to quote Ralph Waldo Emerson precisely (everyone usually leaves off the last line and gets it backwards) ...
"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.
With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do."
Abby, I'll buy the vino, maybe we can find some veritas in it!
Sometimes people want to leave, and then, like the Pacino character,"every time i try to leave, the drag me back in."
so time will tell, but adieu until then.
I say, let's just keep writing, encouraging better work from each other...ignore the rest.
Isn't that how the reading comes to a new phase of being bright and insightful??
We cannot recreate the heavenly old OS some keep bemoaning the loss of, but they cannot have been the only good writers, regardless of the repeating chants around here by a few that they were...
As all things change, we can only invite the newer sharp and insightful wits to join in, and then support them with rates and encouragement.
I wonder how many who bemoan the lack were so busy jumping in the fray that they skipped good writing posts for mean and pointless bashing??
Thoughtful post, Gabby...
I live in the bubble of my own energy
so I feel excited and creative every day
regardless of how anyone else feels.
Charge forth with words of your wit
and create a new age with love for life.
If what we see on OS is real, Abby, your analysis would be spot on. It's not, tho, according to someone who looks a lot like Doug Socks, whom I've never seen. It's six or seven prodigy bloggers in somebody's grandma's basement with wall-t0-wall monitors and wall charts with scripts and avatars and bios affixed and with different colored threads linking certain groups as cliques and claques and so forth. I probly shouldn't be outing us like this, but I'm thirsty and you've been bogarting the coffee pot. Now, then, am I Bonnie today or Nanatehay, or both? It can get confusing at times. But never lonely.
You, my dear, are a genius. Oh, how very much I appreciate this blog. Thank you.... no, I mean, THANK YOU!
Sooooo rated.
PS Love your title. It's perfect.
It happens in everything. Good words Gabby:
"What needs to be remembered is, things change with growth. They change with time. Evolution and devolution rise and fall."

rated with hugs
Matt! How did you spot me?
You're a man of many identities and fortunes, Matt. Shut up about my coffee, I know it's terrible. You really don't know what you're asking for there.
I'd never presume to tell someone what to stand for, though your referring to people who are upset that their personal information was posted online in a libelous manner as a "tempest in a tea pot" tells me clearly where you're at. Of course, posts of this genre pop up after every dispute like mushrooms after rain, and this one follows the standard formula. The author assumes a supposed neutrality then proceeds, while self-righteously wishing people wouldn't be so gosh darn mean, to make not-so-subtle jabs at selected targets. It's the usual tactic of the "civility at any cost including belittling those who aren't civil enough" crowd.
Not sure who I'd miss or not. I have to adapt to a constantly changing life of friends, work, patients, social scenes in real time, that OS is just one more outlet. It is great in that it is there when I am there, and interacts with me as much as I interact with "it" and that I have really learned so much about myself and others through the process of OSing, not just the blogging. There are people here I really like, that I would be friendly with if real life allowed, and many who I probably would never otherwise know. I like you, Gabby Abby, and if you chose to move on, it is because that is the nature of life. Glad to meet your mind in words.
Nana, I'm a lot of things but formulaic isn't one of them. I have stated my position:

No one is to be outed here, or a body slam will follow and your ISDN will be identified and all of your accounts will be deleted and the # blocked. I think that's reasonable and prudent.

I'm not neutral on that one little bit. What I am NOT going to get sucked into in your long-standing war that pre-dates the sin that was committed - by a long, long time. My fondness for the individuals involved isn't going to get me into a posse. I can't be bought with friendship, no matter how much I might like you.

As far as my phrasing of "tempest in the OS Teapot" (if you're going to quote me, get it right), I consider, in the greater scheme of things going on in the world that OS is indeed a teapot. Of the most ordinary kind. I'm just glad I'm not lifting blocks and roofing looking for my home, my pets, my family. I'm sure you understand.
I miss the writing more than anything. The stories, some so personal like from my good friend Sparking they would make you cry. Some so silly and funny it would make your day.
From Harry Ruby's song sung by Groucho:

Hello, I must be going,
I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going.
I’m glad I came, but just the same I must be going.
I’ll stay a week or two,
I’ll stay the summer thru,
But I am telling you,
I must be going.
I’ll do anything you say,
In fact I’ll even stay!
But I must be going.
I'm confused I guess. You're not leaving, right? I never understood "flouncing." Leave? I leave every time I log off. Sometimes I need to rest and re-charge for a few days. Invariably, I find myself back here and always find something of interest to read and comment on, then inspired, write and post another genius (:^) blog of my own, suck up the attention, read and comment at others, get sick of it... and the circle goes 'round and 'round.


This is me just throwing out a farewell. I've been making my break for a while and popping back when I see someone's post on facebook, etc. Since you're not there (fb) - please shoot me an email anytime you or your wildcat brother post - you're really my only two "favorites" left here. Give me the word and I'll come read you and maybe even raise a little hell with ya. This last sweep of ignoramus fuckmuppetry is the final straw for me. I'm not making a flounce post or deleting my account/avatar or anything else, just telling my friend how to find me for the future so I can be a part of your life.


smooch to you, my love, may the wind be at your back."

That is how you leave gracefully; just received this morning. The person in question will be back though I suspect.
That is my entire point; libel and defamation is not something which affects people only in OS. I, for instance, am a contractor, and the slurs made on my name - my REAL name, not my screen name - have the potential to take food out of my mouth, not to mention having a possible bearing on anything else I do in my life which may involve background checks. This is not an OS issue; it is a real world issue, though I'm sure the fact it's not happening to you affords a wonderful chance to ridicule those who have been libeled. Good for you.
Tell Drew-Sil ... er Jodi, that I said "hi", Tr ig.
I never know what to say on theses posts. Thank goodness for Oryoki Bowl.
I agree completely Nana, and it's why I use a nom. I have a total and complete understanding and every kind of sympathy for anyone who finds themselves in this position. It's horrendous. I condemn the behavior roundly.

Still not going to get into the cross-fire. Love you.
You condemn the behavior, yet you draw an equivalency between people thus smeared and the ones doing the smearing. Otherwise your tempest in a teapot remark makes no sense. Since having a discussion with you is like nailing Jell-O to a wall, later. Enjoy your affectations of neutrality.
a ver good post, Gabby. Also, I'm taking bets as to who will be the last man standing when OS fades into the sunset. Any takers?
Nana, I bet on Nana. He hangs in.
Well, things may be better around here for a while. Caracella has evidently been removed, leaving a whiff of sulphur, and the offender around whom the current hoo-haw has been centered has received a warning from management and is being watched.

Too bad it's only a half-measure, and too bad it's after good people have left. But it indicates a potential for peace for a while. Any other people thinking about leaving or hiding in the bushes, come on back.
I've never understand the need for so much bickering and such excessive verbal assaults. Life's too short for all that s*!t. Good riddance.
As one OSer flounces, a newbie is registering a new account (sometimes the flouncer, that's not who I mean.) People have their reasons for doing what they do. Sometimes what they state as their reason is not the real reason. Who am I to make that determination? I will stay until I don't want to stay any longer.

@Nana: I absolutely understand why anyone would be concerned about being outed here or anywhere else. If while doing that mean-spirited deed the outer tells untruths about the outee, that's just scandalous and ought to be criminal.


P.S. Oh, Abby, I'll bet I know which flouncer you don't miss. :D
I was sad when I heard Litte Kate was leaving
but she graced us with a return
there are many I love to read each day
and would miss if they went away
I love a good dust up
like a live soap opera
or a car accident
some have been kind of clever
its the bullies I eschew
when hatred they brew
love is what I want to breed
for it really is all we need.
So glad you will still be here to read.

rated with love
Bonnie, it's good to see you. I guess you're taking a break from posting people's personal information on random web sites. Big smooches.
I've only been OSing for a month, so I don't know the history, but you make it sound ohso tantalizing...
I do have to wonder what's going through what passes for Bonnie's mind as, under the veil of assumed names, she posts people's personal information coupled with libelous accusations all over the WWW . I'm guessing it makes her feel very important.
@ the Brawlers, I'm glad to have heard from both of you. I am. Now it's truce time on Abby's blog. Further comments will need to be deleted - something I've never done, but it goes to my commitment not to be drawn in. I trust you both to leave it where it is.

@Poetess - that is beautiful, and you've caught my mood exactly.

@Lezlie, you're right.
Good rant reading..soooo happy to not have had any part in it. Why does everyone sooo lose site of what this site is about? Why do grown people act like 4 yr olds? I know you are great..lol.who these other people are? Who cares?!!
This blog has been blighted. Bonnie makes my skin crawl. I truly do not see how anyone can abide her presence here at OS Abby. But that's just me. I wasn't born with the neutrality gene I guess.
Ditto to Lezlies comment ...but could someone pls. miss me. I'm lonely.

NanaNate, it will all be good...really.

Matt, who looks like my son now!
Trig, I'm not neutral I'm sensible.

Will, whatever you decide, whenever you decide... just get on with it, yeah? However, I vote stay.
ooooow, now I wish I'd said I'm Jello. Darn. Missed again.
cindy Prochnow writes "Why does everyone sooo lose site of what this site is about? Why do grown people act like 4 yr olds?"

To which I ask, first (reverse order)... why do some people write like 4 year olds? Like lose site of what this site is all about. Speaking of what it's about, I would hope you agree it's NOT for deliberately attempting to ruin lives outside of the site. Now go right something.

Abby, are you leaving or is Bonnie leaving?
Or ... do I have a "reading comprehension problem" ?
Well played, GA! I absolutely agree - no one forces us out, though certainly we might be influenced by circumstances and the behavior of others to make that decision. I respect your stance for sensibility.
Larry, you not only have a reading comprehension problem, you also have the mind of a 4 year old AND and obvious leaning towards a tea party mentality!
@ Trig, going way back up there - oh yes, she'll be back, it's in her nature. And now you and Larry are fooling around and think you're sneaking something past the gatekeeper - but noooo sir. Now, stop that. Listen to your elders or I'll smack you.
This was masterful and I applaud your clear thinking and writing.

I truly miss several people and believe that some of the tension, insanity and crankiness is exacerbated by not knowing the future of this place or whether it will ever be better to navigate.

Plus, I wanted to use the word "exacerbated" without having to use the spell check.

The only way that we will get that delightful energy back will be to put it back.

Buh Bye for now and Zumapick
Elders? Yes, thanks for reminding me of our age difference Señora.
Just to stop the flow of PMs, it's not me that's leaving - I'm saying a hail and farewell to those that are, that may, and that have.

Me, I'm sticking around for all the excitement. And the writing. And to rubberneck sometimes.
If you aren't leaving and Bonnie said farewell...then she must be leaving OS.
If you won't join posses, what good are you to anyone? I was thinking about those good old days this morning, and um... I don't remember them. Except I do remember when you could read all the way back to the beginning of time in "Most Recent."
To everyone who is leaving, considering leaving and then reconsidering (hell, we've ALL done it) leaving but not really, arguing about who's leaving and who SHOULD leave, I say this:
Stop it right now or I swear I will send in the Waaaahhhh-mbulance!

Ma'am, anybody injured here?
Ok, now I'm just feeling they did that on purpose. OS mopping floors at 5:15 in the afternoon? Anyway, it gave me some time to blow off a few minutes on '? Donald Trump for Prez' over on Salon.
I was really pissed there for a second or two. I was just starting to get my snark on and BOOM! Down for maintenance, my hind foot.
I'm not going but I do have a new name. You know I do hope the best for everyone. I really do.
Vale, Ablonde.

I don't know about you but I could use a bit of Ablonde about now.
Don't you dare even think it.
It's like a train wreck in slo mo!

Abby, I was serious about the vino.
And you forgot "It's been real!"
Bet Bonnie won't type my real name and leave it here. She was once married to my uncle you know. I mean, not to venture off topic, but we've pretty much worn out the topic.
I leave for a week -- FIL had massive stroke. Daughter totaled her car, is fine, but in a different city without a car...been occupied in one way or another every minute of every day -- and now I'm in the dark as to what happened.

I hope you're just taking a break from OS and not breaking up with OS. I know sometimes things get silly, and you're right, you can't ever recapture those heady early days of ANY new venture (I feel the same way about my AOL trivia days), but I think OS has a lot to offer writers. I'm fairly new (a year and a bit) and it's been fun watching other writers come in and become wide-eyed and enchanted with this place...I'm still plenty enchanted myself. I owe OS a lot.

I urge you to twirl around in your flouncy skirt (because that's fun to do every now and then) and then put your writerly pencil skirt back on and get back to typing!
Two things:

Does anyone miss Erotic Haiku Thursdays? I sure do!

I take my jello green and with real whipped cream.

(slips quietly out the back door)
Cartouche (where is she?????) once said it best when she described the "early OS" as a NY cocktail party. I miss that a lot. But as others have said, there is a lot of new talent, too. And like you say, we all evolve...even institutions.
Okaaaaaayyyyy. Hmmm..... I've read this three times I don't see anywhere that says you're leaving. How funny to cause panic when there's none to be caused. That's a special power. (Now use it for good, girlie!) Seriously, however, I'm glad to see your thoughts above - there are indeed no walls surrounding us, impeding our escape, if need be.

Good post!
Your title scared me; for a moment, I thought YOU were leaving. Glad you're sticking around!
...and I don't see anywhere...
...and I don't see anywhere...

Why is proofreading SO much easier than typing??
Hi everyone!
I left this morning to meet the lovely Brassawe who's in from Mexico -and we had a very nice time over coffee and then a bit of museum seeing in town. I don't know what's been going on in my brief absence, but it's nice to be back and I'll be posting for fiction Friday soon. {{{Group hug}}}
Just finished reading every word of this post and then every comment and now my eyes feel like two hot coals. My thoughts:
1. Thank goodness you are not leaving.
2. What happened to Erotic Haiku Thursdays? Was it something to do with Tink?
When I read the title I was afraid you were leaving. I am glad to hear that you are staying!! It all seemed so pleasant when I arrived 5 weeks ago. I am going to keep my head down and work....I like it here!
Well said. I feel this way about it. We don't have to all get along. That would be boring, but the way we disagree matters.
Don;t go!! I'd miss ya!! :D ~hug~

I miss everybody, a friend of Tink is a rate!! :D

Yes, I've been drinking, and no, I havern't rated rated you in forever!! :D But well, I suck at rating!! :D
There is a kind of Hotel California feel here, isn't there? The "you can check out but you never leave" ... Who knows how many have come back under different disguises? 100's I'm sure, not that there's anything wrong with that.

Me, I'm not retiring quite yet, just tired ... zzzzzZZZZZZ
I personally think the flouncing is a tactic to get readership. If someone wants to leave, they should simply stop posting here.
Glad you'd sticking around.
If you'll indulge me, I'd like to clarify something. I don't want anyone who has left or is considering leaving to think I have a "love it or leave it" attitude. I do not take leaving OS casually, and I realized that my comment may have seemed flippant or insensitive. There are profound reasons why some leave and unpleasantness can easily be one. I do not wish, in any way, to contribute to that by my comment. I meant absolutely no disrespect whatsoever.

Thanks, GA, for letting me explain. Sorry if I offended anyone.
@ OM, I didn't take it that way, I thought your comment was succinct, but not flippant - not at all.
Thanks for sharing this close coincidence. Nice little tale too.
Oops, wrong post Algy. Scan again.
Thank you, GA. I appreciate that.
I've not been aware of Why folk leave.
I will leave on day, but may say` Howdy.
Where would one go? A cheaper`Hotel?
I'd stay at the Blue Rose Lover's `Motel.
I often think ~ "I am gonna stomp`OFF!
But. I realize that's as`Kindergarden `Bah!
I'd wish I'd not been huffy? Ay crawl`Bah!
Maybe we can go down to the creek? Gab!
We'd be Gabby and swim in tight`Speedo?
We'd get more familiar and talk as`Adults.
We'd be mortified to see naked skinny`Dip.
Skinny Dippers can go to private bath` Tub.
Maybe we can get a room at the loco`YMCA.
We can wander streets and talk to` Stranger.
The first thing Stranger say is` I am Merry?
hey quickly inform me they are happily Marred.
I Love to speak with Strangers who assume I flirt.
They misrepresent and think I want to skinny dip?
People are amazing.
Males aren't perverts?
I join the "Y" to shower?
Maybe I'll stops blogging?
It be fun to learn golfing.
WE can go sit in Pout Chair.
I Love the Pout Chair Potty.
No fall asleep in Outhouses.
Silly ay.
The only thing I know for sure about any of this is that Art James has one hell of a sexy phone voice.
I'm going to start sending miscreants to the Pout Chair Potty!


Grats, I hope BBE joins us again too sometime.
Bravo, Gabby! Love the pace and rawness of your note here. I'm not familiar w/the history or politics of OS, and either way, I wouldn't get involved. But I like how you ended your position on a positive note. Now we'll just have to make sure we keep cars and drivers away from you. ;)
Ha! thanks for the sentiments Jayne.

It's about time we closed up shop here on this particular topic and I feel lots of us will be glad to see the sun rise on Monday, the start of a new chapter with the new week. I'm borrowing Naomi de Plume's fairy sprinkles and wand, and waving it symbolically over the comments, granting everyone one here a wish this week. Then we can post about which one it was and how it came true!
You pretend that you have nothing against me in other people's blogs yet post an attack on me on your own. Yawn. People like you are one of the reasons OS turns my stomach these days. As nanatehay pointed out, you pretend to be neutral and use that as a not-very-subtle cover to launch attacks along with your bestie, Gratuitous Nudity, who couldn't even spell her own name until I pointed it out. You want me to leave, I get it. Your right. As for fake ids, I'll leave that to you and the people you associate with. They are experts at creating aliases to get themselves into the feed, to pit friends against one another, and to just generally stir up trouble. I prefer to be honest, something you and your ilk are unfamiliar with.
It's now Summer, 2013. Almost 2 1/2 years after this was posted, My how the times have changed, but the start of it was back then, back when.

This OS postmortem review tonight must mean I'm a little nostalgic I guess.

I never saw that comment up above by 'Emma Peel', but at this late date I can say girl, I have no idea what you are talking about and I suppose it will forever remain a mystery.

For anyone stumbling along who comes and reads this after I'm gone, here is a teeny peek into what happened... I opted out of back room politics after a detailed introduction was given to me by someone who left after the biggest atomic explosion I've ever seen on OS. I learned that there was a whoooole other gong show going on behind the scenes that was almost as complicated and clandestine as Matt humorously suggested. I was not smart enough to operate with that crowd, but I did enjoy some of the antics and the playful air it gave the place. I wrote about it in a post on 3/17/11 I think it was.

And to Nanatehay ~ sweet prince, B. did you wrong and I always said so ~ both to her personally and here in print. My can of vitriol was never full enough for you, but I got no regrets on that front. You play with fire, sometimes you get burned. It shouldn't have gone down the way it did but some people don't know when to quit and when cornered, behavior is highly unpredictable. We saw that happen and people got hurt. Plain as that. It went too far. I'm glad you are still here you old spitfire, and you will go down in OS history as one of the most interesting people to grace this place.

Miss you old OS! maybe even you Toaster Boy (no, not at all).
Since I rarely read you I was not aware of this old post, or your blog comment: "Emma Peel is promising a flounce as well, but says she will stick around for a bit longer. Promises, promises. Either go or stay, or get a new avatar and reinvent a fake bio and get on with it. So much ado."

Now that I am, it doesn't change my opinion of you as a hypocrite who loves to get her digs in all the while pretending to be ever-so-nice. Well, you're not, and whether I stay or go won't have anything to do with you. I don't have a "fake bio" and never have. I'll leave the fakery up to you since you are so good at it.

It's the likes of you and the rest of your "twist the knife while smiling ever-so-sweetly" pals that mean I and quite a few others no longer choose to write here much, if at all. Pearls before swine and all that. Oh, and by the way, I never mentioned this before but how dare you complain about your daughter having to pay taxes while studying in New Zealand when the sole reason she went there, in your own words, was to receive universal health care? You are typical of the kind of person I loathe -- someone who wants something for nothing.
Oops, apparently I was aware of this post and commented earlier. Oh well, everything I said is still true. And I'm still here, sort of.
Again Emma, I have no idea what you are on about... Leave my daughter out of it and we are cool. I don't care for you either and that's enough said.