When my Uncle Bimbo, mom's brother, called Christmas Eve morning from the field at the farm, this was the gist of the conversation:
him: this Jean?
me: who wants to know lunkhead?
him: oh, it's you. well, ask yo momma what kinda greens she wants me to cut her
me: how about you cut the ones I want?
him: you ain't gonna fix 'em nohow, just ask Jean
me: 'Jean' wants collards
him: you sure? she usually likes 'em mustards
me: yeah, but 'she' knows how much easier collards are and 'she' wants collards.
him: I'm blamin' this on you when she asks me where are m' mustards?
me: how lazy are you anyway? just bring a bag of each
him: what am I now, your field hand?
me: merry christmas, see you at lunch.
Stack of bibles.
Hope everyone had some version of collards at the table yesterday and more to come at New Years, just add black eyed peas and a ham hock to the sideboard and you're set for a lucky '13.