From the Weird but True Department :

 http://jobview.usajobs.gov/GetJob.aspx?JobID=87098521 

 Dear NASA:

Thank you for considering my resume for the super way-cool Extra-Galactic Astrophysicist position!

First, let me tell you how excited I am to learn that “Creativity, ambition, teamwork, a sense of daring, and a probing mind"  are  “What it takes to join NASA.”  I was afraid you only wanted geniuses and  people with advanced degrees in Astrophysics!

This must be part of Obama’s plan to create “good jobs for everyone!”

Let me be the first to tell you that I have what it takes to be a part of NASA!

I am creative.   Last Christmas I made all my own decorations out of Cracklin' Oat Bran and toilet paper! 

I am ambitious.   Is it possible to watch all 198 episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K) in one viewing? One day I will find out!

I value teamwork.   Every time I pull my car in to Jiffy Lube, I marvel at the way those guys work together to drain all my fluids in 30 minutes or less!

I have a sense of daring.   I know it's crazy, but sometimes, I floss my teeth before I eat!

I have a probing mind.   I can play 'Words with Friends' with up to 8 people at the same time -- some of them even adults!

Now I have a few questions for you:

You mention that I would need 15 units of  Mathematics to be considered for this position.  I do have 15 units of Math, but this is because I had to take 'Fractions, Ratios and Proportions' three times. Do you anticipate that this will be a problem?

You say that a “doctorate degree in space science is highly preferred,” and I’m wondering --  would you accept reading an issue of Amazing Stories while waiting to see the gynecologist as a acceptable substitute? It certainly took awhile to get in to see her, and once there,  I swear it took three years to finish!

The job description says,  “occasional travel may be required.” Can you tell me exactly when I will be leaving the galaxy? I need to have time to get the right clothes assembled.  I don’t know if space really has a “season,” but I would guess it’s probably “winter,” so I’ll need to go out and get some sweaters, scarves, long pants, etc. Do you know if I can get reimbursed for this?

Lastly,  how long will I be gone? Will I experience time the same as people still on Earth? I just need to know if I need to get a house sitter for my hermit crabs or if I should just go ahead and give them away.  I don't want them to forget me. What do you think? Keep them or give 'em away? Let me know.

Thank you for all your help, and I  really look forward to meeting you and hanging out with all the other "Scientists!"

 Sincerely, 

 Audrey Ohley