A Little Stroll Down Memory Lane -- Watch Your Step!

"What better way to gain the respect of your peers than to dry your own waste,  grate it with a cheese grater  and carry it around it in a sandwich bag!"

I woke up this morning and reached for my favorite brand of high fiber cereal, “Nature’s Crunchy Birds' Nests," (made with Real Sticks and Twigs!) and while choking that down,  I for some reason starting thinking about that guy I heard about awhile ago who was caught sprinkling his own fecal matter on the donuts at a grocery store  in Texas.

I was thinking that there is so much fiber in this cereal, that if you were the kind of person that wanted to sprinkle your own dried feces on the donuts at Mr. Muffins, you might be sort of disappointed with the quality of the feces produced by "Nature’s Crunchy Birds' Nests."  It might not give you the sort of practical jokester thrill you were looking for when people don’t even notice you’ve covered their donut with poop: "Mom, why are there feathers on my donut?"

I always wondered about this guy, Behrouz Nahidmobarekeh, and what drove him to such an act. He says he was offended by the way people treated him in the world, and he felt like he never got enough respect, especially from the people at the Fiesta Mart, apparently.

Of course! What better way to gain the respect of your peers than to dry your own poop,  grate it with a cheese grater  and carry it around it in a sandwich bag!

I guess he probably didn’t really have a lot of friends coming over to his house either:

 “Hey, Pal! What’s with all the poop on the floor?”

“ Oh, nothing, just  a little project I’m working on.”

“What kind of project?”

“You know, like terrorism, but really lame."

“Ah, well, it’s was nice chatting with you! I’d better get going!”

It turns out, that a few years before the donut sprinkling incident, he was caught smearing feces on the library books at the local library!  It seems he especially hated the Reference section.  Now, I’m quite familiar with the phenomenon of farting in the library – people always fart in Military History.  (Do these farters think that boringness actually blocks farts?  Well, it doesn’t. Just so you know.) But this smearing stuff really takes it a step further. 

I bet if they hadn't caught him "adding the special sauce to the donuts," he would have eventually just started dropping his pants whenever he felt a little "hot under the collar." "Twelve items or less my ass! How dare you disrespect me!"

For those of you who want to know more about this fascinating incident, here are two wonderful links:

This is a great post from the actual Foreman (score!) from Behrouz ‘s Jury Trial:

http://iwanttokeepanon.blogspot.com/2005/10/state-vs-behrouz-nahidmobarekeh.html

And for more about the wonderful library incident and a photo of the perp, this article from The Dallas Observer: