Life and Other Humiliations

Audrey Ohley

Audrey Ohley
Location
Los Angeles, California, USA
Birthday
December 31
Company
Copyright 2010, all rights reserved.
Bio
Despite having been blessed with both average looks and a larger than normal head, Audrey Ohley has only risen to a low level of success despite expending almost no effort to do so.

Audrey Ohley's Links

Audio Podcast Link
MAY 28, 2010 11:46AM

Los Angeles Man Has No Car - On Purpose

Rate: 11 Flag

How far would you go?

ped crossing los angeles

Residents of Los Angeles don’t know quite what to make of 28-year-old Jeremy Michaels  -- it’s been eight months since the native Rhode Islander moved into a Redondo Beach condo, and he still doesn’t have a car.

            “I don’t need one,” says Jeremy, shouldering a heavy knapsack as he starts his daily commute. “My two feet and a Metro pass will carry me everywhere I need to go.”

Jeremy works in a virtual office in Pasadena, buying and selling used plasma TV’s on eBay. Roughly 35 miles away, his commute would take less than an hour in a car, but using public transit the trip takes him about two and a half hours, each way.

“I never needed a car in Rhode Island,” Jeremy says, “and I don’t need one here. People just need to change their perceptions.”

 Jeremy’s day starts at 5:30 am with a half-an-hour walk to the nearest bus stop, then a 45-minute bus ride to another bus that takes him, finally, to the train. Once he gets off the train in Pasadena, another 15-minute walk gets him to the office.

“I try to get there by 9:30, but it doesn’t always happen. Luckily, I don’t have a boss, so if I’m late, it’s no big deal,” Jeremy says, straightening his tie.

Friends and neighbors are at loss to explain his bizarre behavior.

“You have to have a car in L.A.,” says Martin Clarke, 31, one of Jeremy’s roommates.  “I've never heard of anyone without a car. Even winos have wheels." Martin takes a sip from his super-sized Red Bull.

"One time I gave Jeremy a ride to Inglewood where you can get any kind of car for $500, and he said he didn’t have any money. But then later he showed me a CD player he got at Bang & Olufsen for at least $1000.”

Martin shakes his head.  “The dude just doesn’t want a car.”

Jeremy defends his purchase of the $1400  CD player. “The BeoSound 1? It’s amazing. Music gives you something back every day. A car? It’s just tomorrow’s recycling bin. Literally.”

 “At first I thought Jeremy was just broke,” says Jonathon Gold, 39, speaking to us outside the Redondo Beach condo he shares with Martin and Jeremy.  “I know a lot of people from back East don’t have much money, so I thought he was just saving up. But when he didn't buy something after a couple of months, I knew he was weird.”

 Jonathan, a professional valet and surfer, is a native of nearby Manhattan Beach, and never remembers a time when he didn’t have a car. “I got my first car when I was three – a 1974 Jaguar XKE convertible that my dad bought me to use as playhouse. In fact, I still have it. It's a collectible."  Jonathon points to dusty car parked on the curb. Two tires are flat, and weeds have grown up through the bumpers. 

"I offered to sell it to Jeremy for $12,000, but he said no. I don’t drive the Jag much anymore, not since I got the Carrera.” Jonathon glances at a car under a car-cover in the garage and pats it on the hood like a dog.  “I can’t imagine life without a car. Not here. Not anywhere.”

            “At first I thought Jeremy was one of those 'trying to save the Earth' people,” says Jeremy’s ex-girlfriend, Rhalanda Jones, 19. “I liked him. He was different and cool. But he wasn't Vegan or anything and he didn’t even want to ride in my car, a Prius!"

Rhalanda finds a picture of Jeremy on her phone. The photo shows a dimly parking lot and a lone figure walking away, bent under a large backpack -- like Frodo climbing to Mt. Doom. ‘No cars’ he said. ‘No cars.’”

             “Jeremy was always proud,” says Jeremy’s father, Daniel Micheals, 52.  “Too proud. Wouldn’t take piano lessons because it bothered him that he didn’t already know how to play. Tried to change his own diapers. The truth is, he can’t drive, and he’s too stubborn to learn how.”

Jeremy denies that he actually doesn’t know how to drive. “I can breathe, can’t I? No one taught me how to do that,” he says.  “Of course I can drive. I just don’t want to.”

Jeremy admits that he could probably do his job from home, and not commute anywhere at all but he says he likes the structure his commute provides.  “I came out here to write a book, and I'm doing it. I’m writing a book of exercises  that people can do while they’re sitting -- isometric crunches, deep breathing, that kind of stuff. It's going to help a lot of people.”

            “That time on the bus is my time, my time to meditate, my time to think,” he says, boarding the Gold Line to Pasadena. “Plus, I get away from Jon and Martin. I wouldn’t trade that for any car in the world. "

 

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No car? ::thud::
Audrey he acts this way because Rhode Island is smaller in geographic area than L.A. This was great fiction. I knew it was fiction because Bang and Olufsen equipment is more expensive.

You almost got me, though. Rated
I love the style of this piece . . . great delivery of insightful message!
Well done.
Might I add--the more you drive the dumber you get.
I recently visited northern and central New Jersey. Everything about that place says "DRILL, BABY, DRILL!" Much of it is rural or suburban with no obvious mass transit. Where there is public transit, it seems to be the bare-bones, get-the-minimum-wage-earners-to-and-from-their jobs kind. The NJ Turnpike is like a scene out of the dystopian sci-fi movie Rollerball. On summer weekends when New York City empties out, the southbound lanes (read: Jersey shore-bound lanes) of the Garden State Parkway move at 1 mile an hour. Meanwhile, the state of New Jersey is cutting mass transit, citing this year's excuse, budget woes.

Over the years, the public transit in my own home town has gone from shitty-to-nonexistent to somewhat passable. Though it still takes 3 times as long to ride a bus to the suburban shopping malls which have replaced our burnt-out downtowns than it does to drive. And there are still many places where one cannot go via bus.

I like having a car. I hate needing one.
Funny stuff. I got my first car when I was three – a 1974 Jaguar XKE
Jeremy's Dad is right, Jer is an under-achiever.

He went from Rhode Island across the country to .... sell used plasma TVs via a virtual store in Lala Land, by way of Pasadena, a walk, a bus and a train ride away from where he lives? Ahhhhahahah. Not buying the store on this one, but good try!
Based on a true person. Mostly. LA is full of dreamers, and sometimes, their dreams are just stupid.
Way to go Jeremy! I sold my car in 1997 and I've used public transportation or ride share ever since. I live in norcal, so don't know if it's better than socal. While it does take longer to get anywhere, I have a chance to read/think and I don't pay for auto insurance, gas, parking, etc. The reason I sold my car in the first place was because I moved to Japan for 6 months. Since then, I've lived in NYC for 6 months and London for 6 months, the rest of the time has been in California. California really should invest in a rail system on par with UK/Japan, but I'd prefer they don't buy it from China, as has been proposed.
This can't be for real?? no car in CA?
r
He probably takes a limousine that picks him up around the corner, which makes him still, without a car. ;-) This was funny. I really enjoyed it. R