Dear Aunt Mabel,

I enjoyed your post about unusual holiday gifts.  Unfortunately, none of those items are appropriate for my in-laws.  These people are stinking rich and have everything, yet we’re expected to figure out a precious and innovative gift for them every year.  Because I’m a stay-at-home mom, this job usually falls to me.   I’m out of ideas and we aren’t nearly as well off as they are.  What should I do? - H

Darling,

My first suggestion is to have a discussion with your in-laws about ending the annual holiday gift exchange.  Surely the gift of time spent together enjoying tree-trimming, an evening of rum and eggnog or a holiday brunch is more meaningful than ugly sweaters, singing fish or disposable kitchen appliances that neither party wants or needs.

There’s an interesting new book out by economist Joel Waldfogel entitled “Scroogenomics.”  Mr. Waldfogel explains, with figures to back up his thesis, the wastefulness of holiday gifting.  The essence of his argument is that the present chosen is rarely an item that the recipient would have paid full price for themselves.   Accordingly, the money spent is not providing full value to the ultimate consumer of the goods purchased.

As an academic, Waldfogel fails to capture the emotional aspect of exchanging gifts in his discussion.  Economists are notorious for ignoring the irrationality of human nature.  Emotional considerations are impossible to quantify and therefore insert imperfections into their economic models.

Exchanging gifts is ingrained in the joy of the holiday spirit and politics of family harmony.   Aunty understands, having herself a set of upper crust in-laws with certain expectations of generosity.   If the Christmas gift is de rigeur, then here are a few suggestions:

1.       A gift basket of incredible edibles.  Coffee, tea, biscuits, jam, granola, pasta, pasta sauce, olive oil all work well and there are exotic varieties available at most high end or specialty supermarkets.   These gifts are cost effective and consumable.  If assembling the basket is more chore than fun for you, then shop for a pre-made basket on-line or at your grocery store.  You’ll pay a little more and have less control over the contents, but definitely save time and energy.

2.        A charitable contribution.  There are thousands of worthy causes that deserve a donation.  Surely there is at least one organization your in-laws would like to support and would consider your doing so on their behalf a heartfelt, meaningful gift.

3.       A gift certificate or card for an experience that you know your relations will enjoy.  Examples:

a.        If they like classical music, purchase a gift certificate for the symphony

b.      If they enjoy dining out, then a gift card for a local restaurant will be appreciated

c.        If they like rock climbing, purchase a certificate for a visit to the climbing gym

d.      If they like fishing, consider a certificate towards a fishing trip or stay at a lodge 

4.       Booze.  As Aunty’s regular readers know, I love an occasional tipple.  Most people do.  If your in-laws aren’t teetotalers, then a bottle of Sheridans, Baileys accompanied by a tin of gourmet hot chocolate, or Kahlua with a bag of Starbucks coffee beans are all fabulous gifts.

Any of these presents will be welcomed year after year and are likely to be appreciated at full value.

Please send your inquiries to auntmabel@hotmail.com