We seem to be in an era where there are exactly two solutions to every problem facing this country: tax cuts and privatization. With the pall of area fires hanging in the air, the stench befouling an otherwise beautiful day, I can't help but think of Marcus Licinius Crassus.

Crassus may be one of the most famous Romans you never heard of. He has become something of a footnote in history, remembered--if he is remembered at all--as the third member of the First Triumvirate, the informal committee that ruled Rome in the 50s BCE. Crassus served with the much more famous Julius Caesar and Gnaeus Pompey.

And yet it was Crassus who made Caesar's career by bailing him out of debt. And he could bail Caesar out of debt because he was the richest man in Rome. In fact, he's one of the richest men who ever lived in any era of western history. Well and good, but what has that to do with privatization in the 21st century? Plenty, dear reader, plenty. Because it is the WAY Crassus got so fantastically rich that is relevant for us today. You see, Rome had no public firefighters. So Crassus set up his own private brigade.

What you need to understand is that Rome in this time was incredibly densely populated. Historians estimate that in Crassus's lifetime, at the end of the Republican era, the city probably had around a million inhabitants and was quite probably the largest city in the world. And much of that population was crammed into apartment buildings, called insulae. To call them tenement slums would be generous; with no building or safety codes they were prone to collapse. And fire. And because these insulae were crowded together, a fire in one spread quickly. Rome was devastated by fire several times in its ancient history.

So you might be thinking, "Well good for old Crassus. What a civic-minded guy he was." But he wasn't, really. You see, Crassus made a lot of his wealth by buying up buildings threatened by fire. His fire brigade would stand by and do nothing until the owner of the threatened buildings agreed to sell for the Roman equivalent of pennies on the dollar. Crassus knew, of course, that the building owners knew very well they would get nothing if the building burned down completely (no insurance). Crassus could then later sell or lease the buildings at an enormous profit once the fires were out.

This, my friends, is the true face of privatization. Do you really think that if we relied on the private sector to take care of policework or fire control, someone just like Crassus wouldn't come along?  If you don't, you are far more optimistic than I am!