I’ve been thinking about this: why do many women (me included) like romance novels?  Vampire romance novels?  Pirate romance novels?  Regencies?  What is it with this incredibly formulaic genre that sells so well?

I started looking at the formula with a writer’s eye, and the common theme seems to be that the guy in these novels sees the heroine and just can’t look away.  He can’t get enough of her.  He always does what she wants and is all about her needs.  There can be different settings and different plot elements--- sometimes the guy has fangs and sometimes not, ha ha… but his behavior is basically the same.

That is attractive to many of us (and I confess I do read romance novels, even while shaking my head and saying to myself, you already know how it ends!!) but I think it’s also dangerous when people confuse the fantasy with real life.

Because that guy in the novel just doesn’t exist in real life.  Real live men are complex human beings and have their own needs to be met, no matter how charming they are on a date or how great the outside package looks.

And while the hero in the novel is invariably handsome (or at least “rugged”) and well-built, characteristics like that have NOTHING to do with whether a person is a good fit for us in real life.  If women get too hooked on the fantasy, it can cloud their choices in the real world and cause them to have unrealistic expectations of their partners.  I know because I’ve been there and done that, and then stopped what I was doing and everything got better.

Should these things come with a warning label?