Goodness, its been a while since I've blogged.

So about four days ago I was getting on a plane, heading home from Hawaii (That was really annoying, I never wanted to leave!).  It was an 8 hour flight from Honolulu to Houston, then a four hour flight to Newark, then another two hours to Halifax. Flying is annoying as it is, but there was a certain something that seriously made me want to throw open the door of the plane and jump out.

 I had JUST started dozing off when some child behind me started shrieking his little goblin face off.

Which, in turn, caused about seven other kids to howl and scream like some sort of baby symphony.

And their parents were GIGGLING, like it was the cutest thing I've ever seen.

I know they were probably uncomfortable or their ears had popped or they had crapped in their Pullups or something like that, but I was PISSED.

I started hating children as much as my evil sister.

I could SORT OF understand if this was a flight to Ottawa or something, and the parents were bringing Baby to see Granny and Grandpa, but this was coming from Hawaii! What the hell is a BABY going to do in HAWAII?? I highly doubt they have any relatives there! Babies can't swim, snorkel, mountain climb, surf,  shop, drive, or sometimes even WALK. All they do is cry, crap, and prevent their parents from doing anything vacationy.

 But the screaming on the plane is the worst part.

I have thought up several solutions to this problem, which I shall share with you now.

 1. You have to be at least five years old to fly on an airplane. But I assume all the doting mothers would think this is SO ludicrous (It's not, actually).

2. They create a soundproof section of the plane for everyone with a shrieking kid. They have first class, don't they? They can easily invent "Annoying Class."

And these here are my favourites:

 3. In addition to handing out pillows and blankets, they can hand out gags for every howling kid.

(Betcha thought I was gonna say earplugs, eh?)

4. Babies can be categorized as cargo and checked with all the luggage.

5. Children can be issued parachutes and ejected from the plane upon crying. Then they can be located and FedEx'd to their parents.

6. Annoyed adults can just start crying louder.

 I personally think any of these can work. We just need the government to allow them.

I know you parents love your kids and all, and want them to be safe and happy, but they ain't gonna be safe if a hundred other passengers severely want them dead. Or at least muzzled.

But seriously, parents should think before bringing their freaking kids on planes. They should think, "What if I bring my darling little baby on this plane? Will it take a dump in its Huggies and stink up the joint? Will it kick the living daylights out of the seat in front of it? Will it start screaming its little baby head off and make the other passengers start contemplating the best way to kill it?"

 I got only about two hours of sleep on that flight, thanks to Screechy McPooey and his screaming friends.

BUT on the flight to Newark they had Phantom of the Opera on the movie list, so that made up for it.

So concludes my first blog in like, two months.

Shriekingly yours,

Izzie/AJ.

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MY TWITTAH: @IzzyZilla

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