As bad as 2012 may get (and trust me, it can get pretty damn bad), the lowest point will most likely be the Republican National Convention with its lineup of some of the worst presidential candidates in American politics since Ronald Reagan and George Bush (the brain dead one, not the old guy). The sheer horror of it all will demonstrate to the rest of the world that the American form of democracy is not worth emulating. 

Most likely, the spineless guy we’ve had to put up with for the past three years will be re-elected in November. Expect many more “I feel your pain” fireside-type chats, while he’s proposing lousy healthcare plans that will make us feel lots of pain, especially when 50 million of us can’t afford to go to a doctor or see a dentist. Is that a tumor in your pocket or are you just excited to see me? 

Millions more Americans will lose their homes through the unmitigated greed of Wall Street, which will keep on getting bailed out, no matter how much raping and pillaging it does. Nothing like rewarding bad behavior. Hopefully, cities will legalize pitching tents in public parks and all those formerly middle-class homeowners can join the ranks of the millions who never had a home. Who said that class distinctions aren’t disappearing in this country?

The troops may have finally headed home, but spending on the military and defense will continue to rise and rise (after all, the Pentagon needs its expensive toilet seats and countless more ways to murder people), robbing children of education, lunches and other programs. More and more kids will spend the night in the luxury seating of the family van and do homework by the light of their iphones. As long as they can watch “Gossip Girl” on the portable TV plugged into the cigarette lighter, they got it made. Instead of visions of sugar plum fairies, they dream of a brother who doesn’t drool on them as they sleep. 

The first American citizen will be indefinitely detained on suspicion of being in sympathy with some terrorist organization somewhere on the planet. Does the CIA count? When someone notices that he’s disappeared (how does one say desaparecido in English?), Homeland Security’s head honcho Janet Napolitano will deny that he’s being detained, and Senator Dianne Feinstein will introduce a bill to clarify that he isn’t being held anywhere on good old American terra firma. Which will be the first time in recorded history that a politician has ever told the truth. 

Finally, some bottle blonde Hollywood star (of either gender) will get caught doing something (it doesn’t matter what) and the press will engage in a feeding frenzy unlike anything this planet has ever seen before. No will notice that the Mayan calendar has ended, unlike the incessant right-wing blathering of Fox News and other mainstream media outlets. 

The world ends not with a bang, but another year of business as usual in America.