WHAT OBAMA SHOULD SAY IN HIS JOBS SPEECH [AXXel's draft for the President - no charge]

First of all, I want to acknowledge that the Republican side of the aisle has made some very good points in their discussion about the deficit and our very high $14 trillion… Read full post »

 QUOTE FROM "Cold War"  - 1998:  Narrator: "For 45 years, both sides feared a nuclear apocalypse. It never came."   ME:   Our enemies this day look forward to the apocalypse.  I know how to deal with such ememies but Western governments do not. Read full post »

 RE:  Coughing UP for Oil and Sending that $$$ to Those Who Use that   $$$ to Kill Us

The most important long-term problem that I see and apparently you do as well.    In the short-term we can live with $75-100 oil but in the long-term our constant  OVER… Read full post »

The Speech he SHOULD Have  Given

Nine years after we began our war against those who so brutally attacked our country on 9/11.  I am here to specifically say to you that our armed services have done your job and you have done your job well.  The State… Read full post »

I am here at West Point eight years after we began our war against those who so brutally attacked our country on 9/11.  I am here at West Point to specifically say to you here in the Army and indeed in all of our services that you have done your job/… Read full post »

Where is the cost of the electricity to charge the Volt to begin with? The last time I turned my vibrator on, the utility company sent me a friggin' bill. And is 0-60 MPH a half-hour?  And what is the ten year cost to replace the batteries? This is all part… Read full post »

Axxel Knutson Visiting hours for Bernie Madoff, 71, at Butner Prison in North Carolina: Visitation is Monday, Thursday and Friday between 2:30 p.m. and 8 p.m., and Saturday and Sunday from 8:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. I plan on dropping by and will try to cheer the old guy up.… Read full post »

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 CLINTON, Md. -  William Coates, believed to be America’s oldest man, died Monday at age 114 with two of his children and a granddaughter at his side.  Zarns Farnworthy of Rabbit Hash, KY who was America's second oldest man died of a heart attack when he learned the news t… Read full post »

According to the Association of Electricians with Erectile Dysfunction  [AEED], a recent study has determined that electricans suffering from this malady have 35% fewer on-the-job electrical shocks.  According to Barth Worndfind, "Electricians with ED just tend to not get themselves involve… Read full post »

 Capitalizing on Detroit's rocketing reputation as a destination tourist spot, particularly the John R section, you can now be taken to a cemetery where stuffed animals, flowers, letters and other items that were placed outside Detroit's Motown Historical Museum in memory of Michael Jacks… Read full post »

The chief Los Angeles County coroner Lakshmanan Sathyavagiswaran has petitioned the court to allow him to change his name to Jacko's Autopsy Guy. He has requested California DMV to give him vanity plate # 2009-04415, Jacko's case #. A spokesperson for the Sathyavagiswaran family has bemoaned this tur… Read full post »

 Neverland has opened a new ride that will allow parents to hold their newborns out a hotel window safely with the knowledge that there is a safety net 85 feet below and two teens on duty to assist if they bounce. Read full post »

 Gerald R. Ford who croaked the day after Christmas, 2006 has come back from the dead to pardon Bernie Madoff. Ford, citing a passage from some strange religion, has come back to answer Bernie's prayers. According to Ford, "I answered the prayers of Richard Nixon and I can do no less… Read full post »

 Michael is survived by three children: Michael Joseph Jackson, Jr., Paris Michael Katherine Jackson and Prince "Blanket" Michael Jackson II. We have learned that the next names in line for Mike's kids were: Jack Michael South L.A. Jackson; Mike "Hang out de Window" Jackson, and Jackson H… Read full post »

 The Jackson family has confirmed the approval of a water ride at Neverland. The ride would be a log plume with Michael's smiling face on the lead log. The ride would begin its ride 100 feet above ground and splash into a lake of simulated uppers and downers. As riders exit… Read full post »

 6Land O' Lakes butter, St. Paul, MN has jumped on the "golden casket" deal with a reduced fat golden casket for those concerned about excessive fat. Read full post »

"We Wuz Caskets," based in Watts announced today a knock-off golden casket made from hay.

 Keira Knightly has confirmed that if she loses any more weight that the golden casket is hers. Read full post »

 "We R Caskets" the rental firm that supplied the Jacksons with the golden casket has reported a surge in inquires. "The most surprising is from Kim Jong-il,the Supreme Commander of the Korean People's Army, who placed a deposit to have the casket on stand-by," according to spoksperson, W… Read full post »

 Latest: Michael Jackson's golden casket, rented for the day from an LA rental firm was returned late. There was a $50.00 overtime charge. Read full post »

 MICHAEL JACKSON UPDATE: Plans to shoot Michael Jackson's golden casket to the moon attached to a machine that can "moon walk" are on hold pending environmental impact studies. Meanwhile: Michael Jackson's golden casket has been placed on stage at his public memorial service in downtown L… Read full post »

 EHARMONY.COM continues to see Michael Jackson's listing receive thousand percentage increases in hits with odd looking women, men and others still willing to make it with the pop star who according to news reports likely croaked. Read full post »

The Jackson family has released news that a new white sneaker polish will be marketed with the Michael Jackson image...it is the same product that turned him into a cacausian.