The first time I realized my family had cursed me with yet another obnoixious quirk I was about 17 years old. I had already come to terms with the fact that my toes are rediculously long. I would take a picture for you but that would me repainting my toes and since I almost sprained my ankle just now.. I dont feel like it. Anyway.. Ive accepted the toes.. when the woman giving you a pedicure calls you out on it you know you have wierd feet. Ive even accepted the fact that  I will never be taller than 5'1" even if i lose a ton of wieght. Pipers are by nature short people with frogged up feet, and horrible hips, I got lucky and missed the hips. But I did get the TMJ.

TMJ, incase you didnt know is a form of Lock Jaw.

Now I know what you are thinking.. maybe if Barbra anne's jaw locked shut she would be quiet.. ummmm dummy Im typing.. I dont have to move my mouth when I type, unlike some people I know.

Nope my jaw locks open. Its happened so often that I know exactly what to do to fix the issue with out having to go to the doctor. Usually all I have to do is just calm down and relax, worst case senario I have to pop it back into place by smacking myself in the joint that connects my jaw to my skull. Wish we had know that  back when I was still a teenager.

Im sure not too many people remember the first time they had sex.. or if they do they dont remember all the specifics. I kind of remember, I mean it wasnt really memorable, it was basically two people who didnt have the first clue as to what they were doing, trying their hardest to make sure the bed the were on didnt get to messed up. God forbid if he had to remake that bed, his mother would have known someone else had tucked the sheets in wrong and it would have been hell.  Some people are just anal about the wrong things. She wouldnt have cared so much what happened to mess up the bed just that we werent supposed to be in that room on that bed. 

Ironically I remember the first blow job so much clearer than the first time we had sex.  I know the exact location, in the parking lot for the school bus garage, not even someplace hidden, nope right there out in the open. Hell the row of trailers that were directly across from us could have called the cops, but I guess when you are stupid teenagers you dont really care about that stuff. Now of course I know better, lol thats what back roads are for.  So there I am, front seat of his parents car, getting a taste of something that will eventually be my down fall, my addiction and not even realizing my full potential. Obviously he liked it so much that we had to try it again.

Again is where we start to get carried away. Again is where I realize my family hates me, my genetics are from the devil himself. Again is in my bed room, the one that I share with my lil sister at the time, thankfully she is at school. Again is on the bottom bunk, almost fully undressed as the mid morning sun is streaming in, hes almost late for work and my lazy ass hasnt even got out of bed. Again is when my jaw unhinged for the first time.

Thinking back it was actually hilarious, kind of like every other time it has happend since then. But that morning/afternoon it wasnt very funny. When you naked boyfriend has a look of utter terror on his face because his girlfriend has pulled away in slight pain, her mouth stuck in a semi perminant O face. Not the Oh Oh OOOOOHHHH face, just the O open face, and her eyes as wide as her mouth. No that right there is terror for the guy. He literally asked me if he should get my mom and we should go t the doctors. Yes.. yes let me find my clothes and explain to my mother how I was giving you head and suddenly I couldnt close my mouth. That sounds like a bang up great idea.

It happens all the time now.. a couple times a session, considering how into, or adimantly I am participating in the extra curricular activity at hand.. errr mouth, well you know. Most times since I know whats going on now I will just gently pop my jaw back into place with out even coming up for air.. Other times I will just take a moment and hear my guy of choice laugh and ask if Ill be ok. He is usually used to it. Its like the running joke of my sex life. 

Now I dont really know how the topic got brought up at work, but the guys were intrigued, they couldnt understand how a jaw locking open could be a bad idea. Its like those hotel comericals, they are always open, and they keep the light on for you. I know that was wrong. Course they didnt find it as appealing when I showed them my jaw unhinging. You can literally see my who jaw/head shake when I do it. There is a loud popping sound, and if you hold you hand to my jaw you can feel it clicking. 

Some day Im sure this will bite me in the ass.. and not i the good way.. but until then I laugh it off, smack it back into place and go back to what Im doing, a lil TMJ never stopped me before, and it sure as hell wont now.