Breaking news, Dallas, TX

My personal trainer, Nancy, got an unpleasant surprise while working with a client yesterday.

I see Nancy once a week for a cardio workout. We've been friends and I've been a client for nearly five years. Due to my own hypercholesterolemia, I've had to take measures to get that under control, so along with some medication, a moderate diet, and regular exercise, the cholesterol levels are down now at acceptable levels—around 165 or so.

Nancy is very good, I have great calves and a stronger healthier heart. She didn't know what I meant when I first called her my personal Torquemada, but didn't object when she finally got the reference. 

After my workout yesterday, I was getting ready to leave and her next client arrived (who happens to be that former producer for Dan Rather—the one that ran into all that controversy about Bush's AWOL National Guard service).

Instead of working out in the quiet small gym, they decided to do some power walking on the nearby Katy Trail, a reclaimed railroad bed now transformed into a sinuous tree lined exercise park that traverses some of the best neighborhoods in Dallas.

They happened to be the only ones on the trail at the time, which is just want the flasher wanted. He had painted himself orange, completely orange—all over. When she was asked by the police, and later by the media if she would be able to identify the perpetrator, she mentioned that he was orange, and had an erection, but that she didn't notice any other distinguishing marks, tattoos or scars.

They were a bit scared, escaped the confrontation unharmed and perhaps with the added benefit that the trail will now be monitored by police and safety patrols.

This is my friend Nancy:

That last image does indeed refer to me.