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beckalim

beckalim
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June 04
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Multimedia journalist, freelance writer and editor based in the DC metro area. I also blog at bec2basics.blogspot and my online portfolio is at: www.beckalim.com. Twitter: @beckalim

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FEBRUARY 28, 2011 11:52AM

Not All Moms Have To Bake...Right?

Rate: 6 Flag

I don't bake. I don't like baking. Does that make me a bad mom?

Today, my lack of baking skills may just turn me into a less than adequate mom, because my 5-year-old's homework is to decorate a gingerbread house. Thankfully, I don't actually have to bake a gingerbread house - just assemble it with icing and help her put on the decoration. So, in effect, it's really more art and craft than confectionery concocting.

But I have to be honest. I'm really not enjoying this. I'm smiling at my little girl as the icing sugar is flying all over the counter top and floor, but in my mind, I'm half whining at the cleaning up I loathe to do and half ranting at how the school could assign homework that is loaded with gender stereotypes.

I do realize, of course, that the boys have to do this too. Or, at least, their moms have to do it for them. This is a fun way of wrapping up their thematic topic of 'houses'. So why can't the kids (and their hapless moms) be given a choice - you could either do the gingerbread house, icing or Legos, or build a virtual house on the computer using design software. I would gladly take the last two choices over the first.

Don't get me wrong. I admire people who can bake. And I love devouring their painstaking efforts to recreate a princess castle or Cinderella's magical glass slipper. I really love my sweets. But I just don't dig doing it myself.

It's not as if I'm useless in the kitchen. I can cook, and I love cooking. I can cook a wide variety of styles and dishes, from curries to pho to sushi and steak. I just don't do baking. Maybe it's because my own mom loved to bake, but can't cook.

When I was growing up, my mom stayed home and her days were filled with - you guessed it - baking. She had all sorts of baking equipment and accessories, from the electric mixer with a double spinning-thing (with five different types of spinning-thing for mixing, stirring, kneading, whatever) to a vast collection of measuring cups and spoons, and baking trays.

I recall being very fascinated with the sponge cakes, pound cakes, chocolate fudge cakes, cupcakes and cookies she would spend hours baking (and even more hours cleaning up after). But I never felt motivated to want to do it myself. Perhaps, it is because I decided early on in life that wasn't the life I wanted for myself.

I love being a mom, and I enjoy every minute of my mothering experience. I do my fair share of cooking, cleaning, laundry and the inevitable driving to ballet, piano, Tae Kwon Do lessons, etc. But I also want to be out there in the field, interviewing people, shooting pictures and videos, or behind my computer, writing a paper, editing a piece in Final Cut or hammering a blog post together.

I have nothing but the deepest respect for moms who choose to stay at home and devote their entire lives to raising children, because that is the hardest thing to do. My own mom did that, and many of my friends have done, or are doing that. I did that for a few years. But even then, I wasn't really just doing that. I still wrote freelance; I taught yoga; and I started a home-based business selling organic skincare products and my own handmade jewelry.

I never got into baking the kids' birthday cakes myself, decorating their rooms with matching wallpaper and lampshades, and organizing playdates every weekend. Not even when I was a full time stayhome mom, and much less probable now, since I'm juggling grad school, freelance work and internships.  I guess it's just not in my personality.

When I'm spending time with the kids, I would rather teach them photography principles (or watch Justin Bieber videos) than bake with them. I would play soccer, rather than sew. (Although I have to state for the record that I can work a needle...well enough to make classic jointed teddy bears.)

I guess what I'm really saying is that I break all the rules of things moms should "traditionally" be able to do, and I happily make my own. Does that make me a bad mom? I guess I'll find out when my five-year-old submits her less than picture perfect gingerbread house homework tomorrow.

The

The "decorated" house - artfully blurred using photography apps so you can't see the faults (e.g. slanted window, crooked door, icing dripping from the roof, etc. etc.). 

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Comments

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I used to bake a lot. Now I just buy or have memories.
At least you did not have a homework assignment for gnocchi.
Now that is one heck of a clean up..:)
rated with hugs
I used to bake a lot. Now I just buy or have memories.
At least you did not have a homework assignment for gnocchi.
Now that is one heck of a clean up..:)
rated with hugs
LOL thanks for indulging my paranoia, Linda. Don't think I would mind gnocchi. :-) I'm sure I would love baking one day...when I'm over my own issues with my mom.
I feel for you. That is just BS homework. No 5 y.o. is capable of that in any way close to doing it themselves. Mom or Dad project all the way. Blech.
Are you sure the assignment wasn't due last December? ~r
"kh3333" - I guess it was meant to be a fun project that parents have to get involved in. :-)

Joan - Actually, you may be right. After we finished and I proudly made a photo slideshow and sent it to her teacher, Ariel told me that one of her classmates completed it the day after the project was sent home (more than a week ago). #momfail :-)
No momfail. Not at all. I just remember we made those in our kindergarten class around holiday time. It's very pretty!
Oh, Beckalim, I hope you will not let the grade your child gets on the gingerbread house judge your mommyhood. Look at what your mother raised ! Most important thing is being honest with yourself and your daughter to share and to find out what interests you can flourish together.

The house, by the way, looks beautifully decorated - are you sure your 5 year old didn't decorate most of it? :o)
♥R
Your daughter probably doesn't like everything she has to do in school. Like her, you probably learned something. It wasn't about kitchen skills. You showed that you are a good mom by helping with her project. She's 5. Her grade will not depend on perfect construction.
Thank you, but that would be a compliment more for my photography skills than confectionery ones! :-) Truth be told, I'm just really jealous of people who can bake really well.
Thank you, Fusun & nerd cred! I did learn something. I would never be Martha Stewart, but that's ok. When we finished, I told her, "Sorry, mommy can't bake and didn't do a great job." She said: "It's ok. You cook really well." :-D What I didn't blog about was, after this project was done, I had to help my 8-yr-old son MAKE paint to paint a picture with. That's right - MAKE paint. Grind up leaves and stuff into powder and make paint out of that. That was an even bigger mess. Give me calculus, please.
I see another EP post in that: The Art of Making Paint from Crushed Leaves !
My mom stayed at home until I was in Jr. Hi. She baked when she felt like it, generally for my dad. We pressure ourselves, I think. Thank goodness my oven is broken. The stove top is all I seem to need. In Thailand and other far eastern countries, there is rarely an oven - only burners - so when you consider entire populations don't bake, you're off the hook.
Ha ha, yes, Fusun, I'll write it like a recipe, i.e. Recipe For Disaster. The mess is still in the kitchen. I'm in the library getting some work done for my thesis. When I get home later tonight, the cleanup begins.

Gabby, thanks, you're right. I do put a lot of pressure on msf. Btw I just saw your baked goodies post. I'm insanely jealous and will be following you for vicarious pleasure! :-)
If you care enough to worry you are as perfect as they come. Trust me, children don't want you to meet others expectations they want you to care. You have aced mother hood.Lucky woman. r
no, i think dads do...
I love to bake, and I wish I did it more, but I feel no remorse buying those sheet cakes with buttercream frosting at the local supermarket. None whatsoever. (Have you tried the yellow ones with chocolate frosting?)
I wouldn't mind building a house out of Legos. Or even popsicle sticks. But I don't see the point in the gingerbread house. I'm wasting all this sweet stuff, because there's no way I'm going to be able to eat it later without hacking pieces off with a chisel and letting them soak for a few hours...