If there's anyone who writes memory-pieces as you do...well...I've yet to read that person. This draws me in so thoroughly and ahares tension and loss beautifully. rated.

I don't know why, either, but you certainly captured the feelings of a confused little girl.

You have a knack for making a scene come alive Bellwether. Everything is vivid and leaves me wanting to learn more. I especially liked how you get across the notion that there's more going on in the adult world that you as a kid could understand. Thanks for the post.

This slayed me, Bell. How a child goes about oblivious to all the angers and hurts of his adult parent. All those deep undercurrents that a child does not know of as they think abou their candy bars. Resonates with me(and many, I'm sure) like mad.

Thank god my mother has her teeth but I contend she is boneless(as you described Pa Paw). She has all kinds of bone related pains and I say, " But, you are all fat. I can't imagine any bones in there."

The last lines were epically great:

I was pregnant with my son when Pa Paw died. I sat next to my dad in the pew and held his hand, both of us stoic and dry-eyed. I made a choice, took a side, all those years ago, and to this day I don't know why.

Taking sides , and then learning you never even knew why. Wow!

Very powerful, and very sad. I'm sorry you had to see such a family conflict, and that such a curiosity-filled foodie as yourself, found a memory of a new discovery tainted.

Your description of this small moment conveys the history of father and son in a handful of lines. Candy can be a minefield for a child. I can remember more than a few incidents of my own. I like how the candy in question was awful, not one you really wanted.

So much conflict that is never explained to us but we feel and live it for the rest of our lives.
Well done.. HUGGGGGGGGGGG

Tough being a wee mite stuck between two immoveable forces, expecially when you're given to understand, at six or seven, that you're the problem. That wasn't true, of course, but undoubtedly how it felt.

It is so confusing when, as children, we occasionally walked into the hornet's nest of adult conflicts and hurts. You express that so well here.

The way you capture this moment - breathtaking. Always a treat to read your words.

R

Gaw...! This gloriously disturbing, satisfying gamma ray swept straight through me. Gaw...! So much in such a powerful capsule - awakening, terror, shame, love, wistful reflection and the remarkable conquering of traumatic coconut connotations.

everything stays with us, everything, even the empty cup we hold, the dense void where understanding might have been, all of it, and we still turn it over and look underneath to see if we can find something that makes sense.

"with his index finger, nailed it to the counter."

that.

poor child caught in a dilemma like that. well-written.

I'm speechless. You're astounding.

Rated, thank you.

The way you wrote this brings across the drama of the moment, the implications of what history must exist, and the frightened puzzlement of the young girl.

Bell, I love this little girl, the possum, the viscous spittle, the dry eyes at the funeral. What was going on between those grown-ups? And those coconut bars were nasty!

A moment in a life, but you captured two strong personalities in these seconds, and the child that was caught between them.

I wonder if they had realized the scenario you describe so well was going to have such an effect on that little girl, would they have handled themselves differently?

The Greeks did a fine job of pointing on the struggle between father's and sons -- but they got nothin' on you, gal. You continually amaze me with your gift, but since you do it continually, should I continue to be amazed? That was a rhetorical question, and the answer is a resounding "YES!"

Awesome.

You have shredded me as thoroughly as the coconut in the bar.

Ahhh, this is just perfect, Ms. Bellwether Vance. So beautifully, completely told.

(I've heard my Dad hiss with anger once--were these men mountain lions in a former life?)

Such a powerful piece, Bell.

You chose sides like you backed off of the possum. I can't even imagine what little of nothing your grandfather gave your father to be worth a quarter, less a piece of candy.

Beautifully written, rhythmical piece, like a song. Rated.

What a great, concise piece of emotionally piercing writing. I felt for the little girl, and sorry for whatever incident or pain that was between father and son. So sad.

"I was pregnant with my son when Pa Paw died. I sat next to my dad in the pew and held his hand..."

You were pregnant in the pew when pa paw died and you held your Pa's paw.

This is beautifully written. I will never understand the anger some people hold. It can be so close to the surface. Your description of the hissing was so metaphorically accurate!!!!

What a shame that we don't realize what our words do to little people, until it's too late. Wonderfully written. -R-

Beautiful & silently spoken. Congrats on your EP R

I encountered a hissing possum once, as a child. I ran too. Even though it was in a cage at the time.

When you were older, did your dad ever explain why he felt that way about your Pa Paw?

I love your writing as many do here. Just spare enough just told to the right degree, just well.. just right.

Bell, when I read your stories, I feel as though I am in them. I am somewhere right there in the room, observing, listening; one of the silent cast of characters. Your writing pulls me in all the way. Damn. ~r

what you do with such few words is beyond my skill

painful and gorgeous at the same time

Belle,
A short story long on talent.

"Daddy was ..., bringing up change with the urgency of a rented backhoe."

urgency of a rented backhoe ... perfect.

You might as well have put this piece on a dvd, it is so clearly drawn; right down to that candy bar which I happened to love. I still love coconut, but I hate to see conflict between parent and child. And, oh, have I stood where you did that day.

Lezlie

Bel, does your banner have something to do with this wonderful piece?

I can just picture the scene. Amazing writing!

Jon -- Thank you so much. This scene had played in my head for years and I just now got around to putting it to paper.

Miguela -- Very confused. Still confused. I've never forgotten that feeling.

Abrawang -- That's it exactly - "the adult world" and I felt so apart from it and dragged suddenly in the midst.

Fernsy -- It makes me wonder how much I missed. Certainly this wasn't the first time they squared off.

Alysa -- I wasn't even thinking "foodie" but maybe even then I WAS! That candy bar fascinated me and I knew it wouldn't taste like I wanted it to, but I wanted to try it anyway.

Greenheron -- At the end of it, I can't remember if I ate the candy bar or not. But as I said in my tags, whenever I use coconut or eat coconut, I think of this incident. I'm not a huge fan of coconut.

Linda -- Yep. I hope I didn't give my children any perplexing scenes to work though, but I probably did.

Boan -- I felt like I started it and if I could just put the candy bar back...

Jeanette -- It was overwhelming and shocking. "Hornet's nest" is apt!

Lamm -- Thank so much for reading. I'm glad you took away what I hoped readers would.

Bobbot -- R :) Sweet!

Matt -- Did you get bit by a rabid possum? Cause that's what a gamma ray feels like (or so I've been told).

Candace -- Your comment is a poem and a post all it's own!

Delores -- Thanks for reading and rating!

Mumble -- I thought of you with this title. You'd make sure that quarter purchased more than just a modicum of revenge.

l'Heure -- Thank YOU!

Owl -- It was my first inkling of events prior to my own birth. Talk about a revelation!

Lucy -- So you remember those candy bars? I can find no one who does. Also, can I borrow your dime? Well, not borrow, more like we'll own something together...

Sophieh -- I have few memories that are so brief but so strongly remembered.

Chrissie -- I'm certain my dad would have dialed it back. I don't know much, but I do know that in those years my dad was very much intent on proving himself as he grew up very very poor, and whatever happened (I think there was some definite favoritism for his other siblings and possibly some physical abuse), it was still very raw.

Tom -- I'm just glad I have no Oedipal stories.

Linda -- Aww!

Stim -- I didn't mean to shred you!

Clay -- It was a definite SOUND. Mountain lion seems possible.

Sarah -- I hoped I could convey those feelings, so I'm happy you felt it.

Dianaani -- I don't want to imagine. I also don't want to imagine the kind of money I'd have to come up with to repay my dad.

Erica -- As a former songwriter "like a song" is the highest compliment. Thank you!

Sheila -- Even then I remember feeling sad, and not for myself.

Adam -- Ha!! Reminds me of the joke about the dog who went into the bar looking for the man who shot his paw. (But, hey, I can't help it if us country folk call our grandparents hokey names. I'm going to make mine call me Mrs. Vance.)

Susie -- He still holds this anger toward his dad, and it's unlike him and thus fascinating to me as the same time I'm pained for him.

Christine -- I don't think he realized. We've never discussed it.

Marilyn -- Thank you. An EP is nice, but comments are nicer.

Freethinker -- A cornered possum looks like the clown from Stephen King's "It." Seriously. No. We have never discussed this incident and he won't go into what happened with his dad. If it comes up, he gets teary and angry and essentially repeats what he said then -- that he said when he left home he wouldn't ask or take anything from his dad. I think there was some abuse and that Pa Paw preferred the other brother over my dad.

Rita -- "Just right" is the best I could hope for.

Joan -- Thanks so much, Joan.

Vanessa -- Beyond your skill? Not hardly, but I do appreciate your comment and the compliment.

Scarlett -- I was careful with words, and even reading back I see some that could go. I'm usually kind of long winded, and sometimes it's a useful exercise to cut cut cut.

Lezlie -- I know you have. I thought of you and of others here who've written about conflict with parents. In comparison, my experiences have been blessedly minimal -- maybe that's why this memory stands out.

Lea -- I had to look at my banner to see. How weird is that? I've forgotten what's up there. I didn't think so, but now that you mention it...

Scanner --- High praise from a paid, professional writer! Thanks!

Bits of life. Bites of emotion. Gulps of confusion. Gaps of understanding. Wow.

-r-

Gorgeous.

so vivid and evocative, with no wasted words--great piece of writing...rated

I don't know how you did it, must be magic, but it is astonishing how you wove three different points of view into one cohesive account full of emotion and energy.

The first paragraph is brilliant, the careful weighing of hisses, the comparison to the cornered possum, the foreshadowing that that encounter provides: then, as in the store, what seemed like a good idea turned terribly wrong. Then there are so many perfect details--those that put us in your mind and body ("I thought I would die if I didn't satisfy my curiosity about those colors" and "My stomach wouldn't open right then for nothing, it was wrung so tight.") and those that make us witness the drama ("He was an old man, and sick, boneless, toothless, harmless – Pa Paw. And there was my dad, a young man, fit and handsome, dimple in his chin – Daddy, everything in his body puffed to strike" and "ach of us looking off somewhere else").

This is magnificent writing. Again.

What a horrible position to put a 6-year-old child in. This really captures the helplessness you must have felt. Lovely writing.

Wow, so many significant memories you held onto from that very early age! What an unpleasant position to find yourself in with both of them.

This is amazing. I loved it. I know it will haunt me...

You certainly capture that sense, that sudden twist in our spirit and gut, that still grabs us all those years later when the mind rolls back to particular memories. I have a few too. I so appreciate your continued willingness to publish for us here. Your POV and the skills to express it are a gift.

I was overwhelmed with emotion at the end. You are an amazing writer.r

I'm not sure for whom I feel saddest in this very sad story. Reading it I felt like the clerk, standing at the counter and wondering what terrible thing had happened between these two men that would make the young, fit one so engraged by the old, toothless one for wanting to buy his granddaughter a simple candy bar. You captured this snapshot from a child's viewpoint so well.

How can you possibly know why you chose a side when you didn't even realize, until much later, that you had done so? Not that you really had a choice at all. A stark loss of innocence piece.

You and words Bellwether, you and words..

Rated for a snapshot.

Grandpa made a bad move. You never give anything - especially food - to a child without asking, and getting, the consent of the parent even if you are the grandparent.

I “know” the situation there. I lived it with my own father. I wanted to leave home and go out into the world. He wanted me to work in the family business. His ultimatum was, “You'll come begging to me when you fall on your ass.”

My response was, “It’ll never happen. I’ll pay my own way in life or do without.”

Oh yes, I understand your father very well. I have walked a mile in his shoes. I admire him for his stand. His father should have long since acknowledged that he’d been wrong and that your dad had stood on his own two feet ever since.

You get my Golden Quill award for this beautiful tale.

ᴼᴥƪ

.

This was lovingly told in a way that honors both men.

I was totally drawn into this story and I was left with a longing to know the story within the story between those two men who left you stranded and awash in the torrents of their emotions. You are a new discovery for me and I look forward to reading more! rated.

Ah, the choices we make without knowing why, and their consequences which live with us all our lives whose futility are evoked by taste, smell, sound . . . Deeply poignant memory expressed so well.
♥R

Overwhelmed with emotion! Rated!

Oh these kind of moments are priceless.

Dunniteowl -- I'm not sure I still understand any of it.

Mime -- Thanks.

Mistercomedy -- I always look back and regret some words and wish to add others.

Linnnn -- Even at the time I did feel fractured, as if I could see it from every angle. It was a strange scenario.

Pilgrim -- I so appreciate your analysis, and that you see what I hoped you'd see.

Cranky -- Helpless is the right notion, and caught up in something far beyond my comprehension. I keep thinking back to my own children and wondering if I ever made them feel like that in any situation.

Larry -- It is a very strong memory. The shock of knowing that these people you love have history that goes back before you were born.

Brazen -- Thanks for your kind comment.

Gabby -- After this, I did start to see things I'd never seen before, those cracks in the relationship between my dad and both of his parents. Until then, I just saw Granny and Pa Paw. Suddenly they were my dad's parents.

Hugs -- I appreciate your comment so much.

Margaret -- I still want to approach the issue with my dad and probe the whole backstory. One day I will and I will update the piece.

Seer -- Yes, that feeling of being torn later translated as "choice" but you're right, I didn't really have any choice.

Sky -- I hate that you experienced something akin to what my dad did. I don't think my grandpa ever did truly understand (or had the capacity to understand) what he did.

Jersey -- I wish I knew more of the story as well.

Fusun -- I think I made the right choice, or the only choice, really.

Breastfeedingdiet -- (Love the name!) Thank you for reading and rating.

Algis -- Unforgettable anyway!

You write so beautiful. I was right there with you the whole time!