- December 31
- You'd like me. People like me.
MY RECENT POSTS
- The Empty Next
March 04, 2013 11:08PM
- My Olympic Season
August 02, 2012 09:04AM
- All Will be Made Clear
May 25, 2012 08:46AM
- Saddle Up, Cowgirls
May 01, 2012 06:29AM
- If the Creek Don't Rise
April 10, 2012 09:06AM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “A reminder that for the
lucky people, crazy is merely
July 03, 2013 09:18PM
- “I've got plenty of
examples. Genuinely good
July 03, 2013 08:27PM
- “Every instrument has
memory, but we rarely get to
know it. I
have one pawn shop
July 03, 2013 08:15PM
- “My condolences, Stim.
Even -- or especially --
July 03, 2013 08:07PM
- “So...I'll be in France
next week and I was PLANNING
staying with you! (Not
July 03, 2013 08:00PM
Bellwether Vance's Links
- MY LINKS
"Hey Mom! Ralph fainted yesterday!" my son calls to tell me. Ralph is one of his goats. He has two fainting goats that are about eight months old. He has not seen them faint because he will allow no one to scare them into fainting.
"How did that happen?"
"Well,… Read full post »
We have this exact same fight every three years.
In my corner: 1) You are not my crying shoulder. 2) You are not love suicide. 3) You are not the greatest fan of my whole life.
In his corner: 1) You never want to have sex with me.… Read full post »
There is an office in Tallahassee on Winewood Road, full of beggars letters. This is where we write, abandoned children, for non-identifying information about our adoptions. For an extra thirty five dollars you can register to be reunited with your kin. If they pay, and if you pay, and if dates… Read full post »
In the family album, there’s a picture of me in a high chair, with a raw oyster in each hand. Which is only fitting since we live amongst oystermen, near the harvesting fields of Apalachicola, where you will find the best oysters on Earth. Small, velveteen, supremely salty.
My winter childhood… Read full post »
Loveless is a place: A county animal control facility, a functioning Auschwitz for pets, on the edge of town.
They – the staff – do not want me here. I don’t know why I stay, except that maybe punishment of your own choosing is, in itself, a reward. These are hard… Read full post »
My brother is a fish. Silver and bronze. Reckless rather than brave, as if that matters to flesh. A show-off fish. He is fascinated by the bears that wade along the river banks. Their feet like tree trunks planted beneath the shallow water. Their claws the size of tightly closed pine… Read full post »
Dear God: Before this begins, I expect chopped peanuts for the use of "sodomite" in an unaccusing sentence.
Jesus meets me at the gates of heaven. He is magnificently robed and emanates light. His eyes are moist and gentle. He says, "Bell, you have been a faithful servant. Here is your… Read full post »
Every now and then, when I get tired of singing to myself, I like to recreate my favorite scenes from Coal Miner’s Daughter. Where Sissy Spacek, as Loretta Lynn, is singing to her babies, and then her husband Doolittle "Doo" Lynn, who is a complete asshole (at least in the movie)… Read full post »
I feel weird telling this story. It’s the kind of story only your mother is allowed to tell. If you tell it, it’s braggy. "Listen to what I did! I’m a really good person." But I’ll tell it anyway. Because I am a really good person. Because I’ve also been a… Read full post »
First, the stew: Cannellini Bean and Kale Stew
1 lb cannellini beans, soaked overnight and drained
8 cups kale, thoroughly washed, stems removed and chopped into bite size pieces.
4 Tbsp olive oil
1 large sweet onion, finely chopped
1 large carrot, finely chopped
1 medium parsnip, finely chopped
1 la… Read full post »
My boss is an alcoholic. She’s late stage -- vodka. She has come close to losing her business, her home, her child, and each time has staggered back across the line to function, for a while, as a near-sober woman. Visibly worse for wear, and wearing far worse invisibly. I’ll call… Read full post »
The last time the temperatures dropped this low here along the Gulf Coast, I was in middle school. The sleeveless ski vest had just trickled South. The theory being that since your chest and heart were warm, your arms, hands, and presumably your lower extremities, would be kept warm by the… Read full post »