Chances are you never heard of Stan Dale.  Like most of us Stan died known and loved by a close circle of friends, "disciples" to use the term broadly, and the hundreds if not thousands of people whose lives he changed forever.  I was one of them.

    In "our" world that isn't much any more.  It doesn't give you the "high profile" of the celebrities with their deeds and misdeeds, famous for their looks or the roles they play and those of us who need an identity that isn't our own.  Stan started out that way.  He was in radio, the voice of a character called the "the Shadow," best known for his line, "only the Shadow knows."

     It was more than a little prophetic.  Stan went on to have a radio talk show in Chicago during the 60's, but got into trouble when he took sides with the protestors, lost his job, and faced some lean years.  When one side had power and the other did not, Stan's loyalties were clear and they remained that way for the rest of his life.

     He fell back on something that put him at great risk.  He decided to start an organization that deals with the most controversial and scary subjects on earth among humans: love and sex.  It's called "The Human Awareness Institute," which carries out his work pretty much as he left it in California, New England, Michigan, Australia, and Germany for starters.  Stan envisioned a global community where "everyone wins." 

     No question, we are obsessed by both.  It's the greatest source of our humor, our madness, and our suffering.  Nobody has a lock on it, but everybody has something to say.  We hide from it with all of our might, and do things as a result of it that makes us fools.  If we are damaged as a result of either the price is the quality of our lives, if not life itself.

     The story, a contemporary myth based on an ancient rite, is that during the war Stan was stationed in Japan and one day stumbled upon a "Geisha" house--not really a "Geisha" house, but what Americans called one at the time and rather than spend a quick visit Stan took up residence. 

     Then he had the audacity to talk about it.  He said it led to his personal  liberation at least sexually--that sex wasn't what he'd been led to believe though it was clear it wasn't the final solution.  That was what love was all about and Stan became the guru of sex, love and intimacy, or as he said again and again until it was a parody of himself: "into-you-I-see".

     I met him in a farmhouse in Massachusetts in the early 90's when he first came East to spread his message.  By then his workshops were already considered the grandfather of the "new age" consciousness raising epoch, parodied and pilloried without the attribution most of the time.  We were the original "tree huggers" and Stan the master at having us see it wasn't a joke, but a doorway to another way of life.

     Stan was a giant of a man with an unforgettable voice.  He'd guide us through the room doing exercises he and others invented that left you panting with fear and excitement--all meant to release us from the prior conditioning that made us unable to combine "them." 

     Love to Stan is what we "are" and sex is sin only if it is in the "shadows," where our Puritan heritage and culture put it so that it can fester and eventually erupt to destroy all that is truly dear and holy--serving the politically correct consensus.  The examples are everywhere and more often than not in ourselves if we have the courage to look deeply.

     I came to love the man as so many did.  I saw him and still see him as a hero and genius of his own sort.  I write this on the odd assumption that a few folks reading actually aren't satisfied with the course of their relations, or living with the damage done to them, or the guilt of the damage they may have done to others, and wish to do a little exploring themselves.  It only takes a few clicks these days.  The workshops may not be for everybody, but for those with the need and the willingness, it's a place they've always been looking for but never knew could exist.

     How many great men and women do you think are among us at any one time?  And how do you define that term?  Is it their fame, their money, their power, their inventions?  And how many do you think are actually recognized by the status quo when it's their assumptions that are challenged? 

    Answer: None.  It's always been that way and always will.  It's so much safer to slip it under the rug until it's too late.  The "alienated," the outcasts and the misfits are always the ones to lead the way and it may even not be an accident I'm writing this during the week many great religious traditions celebrate major holidays.  For the meek, shall inherit...

     And lastly, (forgive me, I can't help myself, I'm a writer, this is my job) how many believe the answers to our most private and deepest questions can be answered in a vacuum without experience to aid in discovering who we are? 

     Stan used to say, "awareness plus experience equals potency."  It struck me as true at the time, but how true has only come with more awareness and more experience--not necessarily the kind we write home to tell mom all about. Love is easy in a vacuum of platitudes, but quite a different matter in the lives that we lead.  The education we receive from books and someone else's experiences are crucial to our development, but doesn't define us in the end.

     Think about that.  To me, it's what "genius" is truly about.  Those who cut a new path in one realm or another, be it art, finance, medicine, politics, religion, or the mysteries of sex and love.  Perhaps, if you don't know him already, one day you'll join me remembering the name Stan Dale and feel your heart open.

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DEDICATED TO RENIE AND DAYTON, MY OLDEST FRIENDS AT THE HUMAN AWARENESS INSTITUTE (HAI), AND THE FACILITATORS, PRODUCERS, AND VOLUNTEERS WHO MAKE THIS EXTRAORDINARY ORGANIZATION POSSIBLE, AND MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE.

www.hai.org

_{Technical and Editorial Assistance: Mercedes Arnao}