My sister-in-law left my brother.  They are in the middle of a divorce.  Neither is very happy.   I am happy that I don't know much more.

 She left him more than a year ago.  I want to say she left their son, because she moved out of the house.  But my nephew had been eighteen for a month, so technically he was "emanicipated" even though he was still just a senior in high school.  She rented an apartment, and her son visited her a few nights a week.

I still think of her as my sister-in-law, even though I've been mad at her about this.  Mad for my brother's pain, mad for my nephew's pain, now and in the future.  College graduation.  His wedding.  All of this will be more complicated now, though we all  Rose Above It for his high school graduation before they even filed for divorce. Rather, before my brother filed for divorce. 

I suspect she has pain, and I also believe no one sees both sides of a marriage.  That's not for me to say.

Blood is thicker than water, and I need to have my brother's back.

 My sister-in-law and I are both looking for full-time jobs.  Once in awhile she will send me a lead by email, and I send her one sometimes.  We live half a state away, so while we are looking at the same type of jobs (sort of) we don't compete.

I want to help her.  When she gets a job, it will be good for my brother, good for my nephew.  And I know she needs a job.  That will help everybody move on.

Okay, B, get to the point.  This morning she asked to friend me on Facebook.  I didn't know what to do -- I. just think it is too soon, so I hit ignore.  But I can't forget about it.  I felt it was too disloyal to my brother.  And I couldn't do it.  But I feel guilty, also.

Of course this is not about me, but I'm not sure how I'm supposed to behave or feel in this situation.  I almost always tell my brother when she sends me an email.  I feel guilty if I talk to her at all.  But she is my nephew's mother and that doesn't change.  Her birthday is Saturday and I sent my nephew a text today that said, "Don't forget your mother's birthday."  He's nineteen, the same age as my child, and he may or may not remember.  Freshmen in college are busy. Distracted.

Is my sister-in-law still my sister-in-law after this divorce?