The Raven Lunatic

Still trying to figure it all out

Amy A

Amy A
Birthday
December 01
Bio
An independent journalist and content writer, focusing on health care (rehab and senior issues), domestic travel, the arts and parenting issues. Writer of "The Raven Lunatic" newspaper column, which runs in multiple Indiana newspapers.

MY RECENT POSTS

Amy A's Links

New list
SEPTEMBER 30, 2011 12:59PM

My People -- The Formicans

Rate: 27 Flag
countertops11 004
We are at the end of week four of the Great Kitchen Remodel.  What was it about this venture that made me think it was a good idea?

 Among the delightful surprises of this activity was the discovery of Old Mold behind the wall between the kitchen and the garage.  In the Pre-Code days this house was apparently remodeled—with kite string for wiring, old rolled-up grocery bags for insulation, and electrical outlets all put in upside down.

The mold has long been dead but gave off that Old Mold smell.  Naturally this involved more expenses to rip out all the dry wall and replace the insulation.

The dishwasher had been leaking so part of the floor had to be removed and some of the basement ceiling.  More dry wall replaced.  The good part about this is that since we had to dig into the basement ceiling, the plumbers moved the pipes out of the north wall and into the floor.  In theory this should avoid future frozen pipes.

The wall cabinets and base cabinets are in and the counter tops arrived this morning.  Who wouldn't love to have eight grand worth of solid surface or granite countertops? 

Well, us, for one.  Eight grand was about seven times too much.

We are honoring our fore bearers, the Hoosier Formicans, a race of people who strongly believed that plastic  over wood is the only way to go.

The electricians come next. I have to return the new ceiling fan, because my husband pointed out that it will hang in front of the television set.  We thought were so so cool to have a TV mounted on the wall, and yet we weren't smart enough to initially figure out no one could see it with the fan in the way.  So we will head back to the Big Box store to find a "flush mounted fan" (sounds like a commode, doesn't it?).  Our original intent was to get a ceiling fan that didn't have to be disassembled to change the bulbs, but I'm not sure that is possible.  Most of the flush mounts are one piece.

We are tired of eating out of the fridge in the basement or going out to eat.  My typical lunch is rolled up dried beef with light cream cheese, Cheerios and milk, or yoghurt and an English muffin with jam.  Oh, and bag salad.  You can't beat the bag salad, but now we have to worry about listeria.

Since I broke the guest room sink three weeks ago, we are using plastic silverware and plates.  There's something terribly unseemly about using current bathroom sinks to wash dishes, so I had been using the rarely used guest bathroom with its nice pedestal sink.  The stopper was giving me trouble when I filled the basin, so I just gave it a nice shove and it went through the porcelain and made a lovely hole.

This is now about number 45 on the contractor's list of things to fix.

Now the ever-present contractors are slicing the countertops to make sure they fit. I have trouble concentrating, though I have about six projects due to editors.  I find myself terribly distracted with the crew's arrival at 7 a.m. and constant, unexplained use of an air compressor every four minutes. I am  unable to write anything more than this nonsense.

Probably the lack of protein in my diet.

Your tags:

TIP:

Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:

Comments

Type your comment below:
Fun piece and the best of success with the Formicans and the rest of the renovation.
We have the Wilsonart Formicans here. When we renovated, we called things like old mold and water damage as "snakes under rocks." I empathize.
Remodeling is hell. Good luck and hope everything is back to normal sooner rather than later.
We're going thru this, too, Amy, by degrees. I sometimes wish my ancestors had never left the cave.
If I had known you back in 2006 when I remodeled my kitchen, I could have just copied this post and pasted on my own. And they ALWAYS find some form of rot! Always.

Lezlie
Formicans are a hardy breed. Real salt-of-the-earth types.

Kitchen remodeling might be the worst there is. Well, I'm sure bathroom remodeling gives it a run for the money. Good luck to you!
The Formicans were stampeded to death by the Naugahydes.
Oh, the stress! I hope you can take consolation in imagining how great the kitchen will look when it's done...and how beneficial the other, unexpected work will be, too. And for now, I hope you can take comfort in...uh....well, an excuse to go out to eat sometimes! Uh.... Well, I hope it all really finishes soon and well. "Bon courage", as the French say.
Know what you're going through all too well. We spent 10 years renovating an old house ... and then promptly went out and bought a rundown cottage so we could do it all over again. Some eejits never learn.

Hope it all goes well through the rest of the project.
The problem with renovation is that it ends up having to correct generations of "fixes." I can imagine the celebration that will occur when it's all done. Formicans unite!!!
I even touch -up painting. Never mind remodeling. Oh the pain...in the ass. Go eat a steak. You deserve it. -R-
From my own experience, I call remodeling "prelude to a homicide."

We had an air compressor in the master bedroom for a few weeks during remodeling. I slept on a mattress on the floor every night during the work. One day, he forgot to unplug the compressor before going home. At 3 in the morning, it suddenly went off, full blast. I definitely had to wash my sheets the next morning.
could be a title for Rod Serling! r.
Let's hear it for the Formicans! An ancient, yet unpretentious civilization who have resisted the temptation to add an "-ie" to the word food preferring to prepare it and eat it without having a stone altar on which to worship its preparation. A Formican chops stuff up rather than performing a "mis en place". My kind of people, those Formicans. There's got to have been some of them in my Cheap Bastid lineage.
Granite for countertops? Crazy. Formica is perfectly serviceable - and not nearly as heavy.

This reno project will eventually be finished. But there will be others...
Ahh the formicans! I believe I am a descendent - I used to love the bright colors with the metal strips on the edges.

Do you remember the Congoleums?

:-) / R
The Formicans are made of more disciplined stuff than those of us who have hot-panians, puddlites and nocuttingboardles in their lineage. For us, solid surface is a means to counters that last more than a year.
You and your husband need a nice big dinner... your writing is just as good as ever anyway. ~r
It is nice to re-connect with the people of my tribe. I'm more Thriftitarian than Formican, but I think the two overlap, genetically. When we built our home seventeen years ago I took home formica samples and ran a steak knife over them to see which one we'd go with. A marbleized black and white pattern won. I always envisioned that we'd upgrade down the road, but these countertops look like NEW and so I can't justify getting rid of them! My dream kitchen would have a 1920's look -- white cabinets, marble countertops. The whole granite/stainless/cherry cabinet look is one I can appreciate and still not want for my own home. (I hope you post before/after pics!)
I thought this was FORNICANS like FORNICATE. (hangs head in shame)
And after it's all done you won't want to cook or eat in it because you won't want to mess it up! Don't worry, in a few weeks when it's all over, you'll be laughing about this the way we're laughing now. Promise!
Ugh, horror story! I shuddered all the way through thinking of past remodels of my own. Be strong, you can survive, you're Formicans!
Nonsense to you Bernadine but clever, amusing writing for the rest of us. Those renos are bloody hell. Good luck on coming through to the other side.
and the in-laws, the Linoleums.
First, the term is drywall, not dry wall. Other terms are sheetrock or gyproc or even gypsum board.

Next formica and arborite are plastic. They discolour fairly quickly in areas of high use. They discolour seriously under hot pans but then you’d likely discolour under a hot pan too. Do yourself a B I G favour. Go to your building supply and get 8 to 12 attractive 12” x 12” ceramic tiles. Glue on their backs some felt, or cloth, or some of those self-adhesive little felt patches (they come in different shapes but are usually a tan colour) so they don’t scratch your new counter top, Hot pans can safely be put on them - hot to any temperature - up to and including hot enough to melt the pan. They are heavy enough to be stable yet light enough to pick up and move. You’ll love ‘em!!

.......Renovator of many kitchens & bathrooms

.
Hail, fellow Formican. Sorry you must suffer for your heritage. I loved my kitchen the way it was when I moved in 14 years ago, and it remains unchanged. When the city property tax assessor came to reassess, she deducted three grand for eighties era unstainless steel appliances, no granite counters, or cherry custom cabinets. Friends' tales of renovation woes have helped me resolve to keep my historic preservation approach. Old mold...gah?!
I have to laugh, but, believe me, in a thoroughly sympathetic way, for I've been through this. You've made me understand why my dad (and possibly most males) would say, whenever my mom proposed some improvement, "Why? It's just fine the way it is." Formicans--I like that, a lot; very clever! I went with tile, though; thought it was snazzier, plus, I know how to lay tile--formica, not so much.
Ah, yes, the joys of remodeling. Remember what a good idea it seemed to be before it started? And it may well seem like a good idea when it's over. Hope so!
Great post. I remember installing Formica in my brand new tri-level back in the early '60s. Blue and pink for the bathrooms, white with gold flecks in the kitchen. It was all the rage. Thanks for the memory.