“I didn’t call you a slut. I’m just saying you might want to…to tone it down a bit," Clint mumbles into the phone.
He’s referring to my photos on MySpace and Facebook. I take them myself, of myself. They are only slightly scandalous. A solid PG-13, in my opinion.
“I’m just saying that you send the wrong messages when you put those kind of photos up. Guys get a bad impression. People like you and me, we're more…normal than that. Just accept that you’re normal.”
Funny, I don't feel particularly normal. I had called Clint because I was feeling very down this evening. I usually just ride it out on my own but every once in a while, I gamble and reach out.
Clint is the oldest of the brothers I hang out with at the Jersey shore. He’s sort of a James Dean meets Kurt Cobain type. He has trouble speaking what’s on his mind, fretting, frustrating himself then finally saying something he considers all wrong anyway. Lately, he's found God and thinks I need to trim a little of the excess evil out of my life.
“I mean…come on. What guy’s going to…take you…seriously. They are going to think, that you’re a…”
“A slut? Don't you have to have sex in order to be a slut? I think my monastic, incredibly dull life might stand in the way of me and total whoredom."
I wish I was a "slut", whatever the hell that stupid word means. I wish the rumors would fly up and down this dumb island, "Hey, there's Beth Mann. What a slut! She just won't stop fucking. Nobody can stop her. She's literally become a fucking machine." I'd walk by and switch my ass, and drink in all the disapproving looks, like a form of foreplay.
Instead, I'm at home watching Law & Order SVU and eating popcorn, with the painful realization that I need to feel very connected with someone in order to have sex at this point of my life. (Though I do keep hoping Christopher Meloni will jump out of the screen and put me in handcuffs one day. Sigh. That man is built to bang.)
I like taking pictures of myself, I explain to Clint. It’s the way I see how I’m doing, how I’m feeling, who I am. It’s the way I feel sexy without the sex, which seems to be in short supply.
"Any guy who sees you like that, he's not going to take you seriously."
Suddenly I found his shame sinking into my ear, worming its way through my brain. I go to my computer and begin reviewing my "scandalous" shots online. I delete a photograph. Then another.
“Clint, I’m an artist. I take chances. I’m not supposed to worry about people like you and what you think.”
“Well, then don’t. I just think, well, you're not supposed to broadcast those images to everybody.”
“Well who am I supposed to broadcast them to?”
“You reserve them. For your…your…”
“Your what? I don’t have a your, your.”
Delete, delete.
“Those surfboard photos, Beth. Come on. You don’t think they’re a bit…much?”
I bought a new surfboard several months ago and took a series of shots with them. In the nude. Rebel, they call me.
“They’re nudes, Clint. It’s not like I’m fucking the damn board or something!” Delete.
I knew when I entered the wide world of the Web, it could be a sneaky, gross and suspicious place. But I made a conscious choice to express myself my way, to use my name, to be me. Of course, there are times it feels awkward and vulnerable. Of course, it can feel self-exploitative and stupid and when I'm feeling down, it feels painful and embarrassing, revealing myself to some mass audience of god knows who. But I move past it. I try.
“Beth, those kind of photos are for stars, for artists…”
“Clint, you asshole, I am an artist. I've been an active artist for over 20 years.”
“Well...then how come you don’t have more money?”
"Hey, Clint. I have an idea. How about I drive to Philly and lie down in front of you so you can literally kick me when I'm down. It might be easier in the long run. And just so you know, I’m getting a lot of attention lately for my work and…and…”
“Well, when do you get paid for that attention?”
"Are you calling me a slut and a loser? I just want to clarify."
I find myself deleting a blog entry. It's one where I...it's just too much of myself.
I begin to choke up a bit. Shame is so terribly powerful. But Clint didn't introduce these ideas to me. They were already poking holes in my gut. Like I don't feel the discrepancy between my talents and my finances? Like I'm not painfully aware that my photos are really just "me on me" action?
“No, I don’t get paid for attention. Well, I do. I mean...I get paid for what I do creatively. I just don’t get paid a lot for it but I'm surviving. And what’s that have to do with my porn shots anyway?”
“We’re just regular people, that’s all I’m saying. Accept it.”
I prepare to delete one final item of the night: Clint.
I've been deleting a lot of friends as of late. As I spend more and more time alone, battling my inner demons and demigods, my friends' input has been falling short. Its as if they really don't know me anyway and their feedback seems woefully off-track. Clint is my friend and he's dear to me. He thinks he's helping or protecting me. He just doesn't know me. My friends don't seem to know me anymore.
"You know, Clint. Maybe these are your issues. You're feeling frustrated sexually, creatively. You'd like to break out of your normalcy rut. And you're just taking me down with you."
"Maybe you're right."
"Well, it worked."
Clint and I being normal
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But don't....dont.
Clint is the one with the problem. The only reason I would be circumspect with pictures is because there are so many dicktards and dangermen on the net...not enough grown ups...
but its not about your pictures being WRONG in anyway...thats just fucked up.
Clint was being a bit of a cunt, luv....so bugger that.
Meanwhile...you really are shockingly lovely.
it's ok i think that Clint doesnt understand all of you, I dont think anyone can fully understand another person, as long as we are ok with ourselves.
First of all, Clint sucks.
I think, if I had to translate "You're too normal to post pictures like that," that it probably means "I don't think you look enough like Angelina Jolie to post pictures like that." And, well, you know, fuck him.
Anyway I like the clothesline one best.
http://www.myspace.com/mikelkmusic
I'm a slut too... (:
Go easy on Clint, though. I think he loves you, however imperfectly, and cares about you. The day will come when his opinions won't make you feel ashamed, but that's about your growth, not his.
Your pictures are really beautiful. Your art is important.
Normal does not mean boring and suppressed. Clint should look it up.There is nothing more normal than what drives the artist - what drives the artist drives all of us.The artist is everyone's normality, expressed.
I think you're good: provocative, but not slutty. Your poses are quite imaginative, as well. I especially like the surfboard one.
Reminds me of a friend, a classical composer, whose mother asked him "Why can't you make a record like Yanni--make some money?"
Nice.
Those photos are awesome and so are you.
How bloody bland is normal? What *is* normal? It's like that word "appropriate". Is there a more constipated word in the English language than "appropriate"? Gad.
Be bold, girl. We love it. We get it.
I don't try to analyze the reasons. There are too many.
I viewed your photos a while back. Yeah, I took a look. I looked because I really liked your writing and wanted to know more about you. Your link was right there. I didn't see anything that wasn't tastefully done. Some of the photos were really good. Especially for taking them yourself. A hard thing to do when not behind the lens.
I don't think I'd be deleting anything on Clint's opinion. If you worry about others' opinions you can't be yourself. He will either come around to accept you or he won't. If he doesn't, then he wasn't a true friend to start with. Life moves on either way.
I'm sure almost every woman has to deal with this sort of thing. It's not nice, but then Life is never going to be fair.
BTW...your pictures are beautiful.
and though he obviously upset you - this time NO dishes got broken and NO cops were summoned
i call THAT progress
and you know, in my entire life, i've met nobody quite like you
your entire life is dazzling
you sparkle
thanks
If you're a slut, then my new life ambition is to be that slutty.
anyway...all that said, I'm sorry you got "shamed" for doing this. Not all of us would do it, but that doesn't mean we should be judging it. So, as others said...it's not about you, it's about him.
Yeah. That'd be nice.
This is a great post with great pictures. Clint needs to get laid.
NO! Don't do it.
I was normal once, for like a week. Very dull.
So what if I end up doing you in my head tonight? I'm happy, Mrs. Cap'n is happy. It's a win win for everyone. Well except for maybe you, cause yer still not getting any...
PS. You are hilarious. I love your posts.
looking at your pictures i would say you fit the bill. i don't mean that deragatorily. i would also say that you do it for attention. you seem a bit narcissistic.
you must care what clint thinks. it inspired you to write about it,right? but who cares what the "clint's" of the world think? if you feel good about yourself at the end of the day then snap away. but don't do it for the married guy sitting behind his computer who is telling you how amazingly beautiful you are and then logs off abruptly to go be "mr. family guy". that is a lose-lose situation.
remember when the internet was anonymous? "facespace" took that magic away.
I agree with Karin. Clint's just being a guy, maybe protective in his own misguided way. It wouldn't mean the end of a friendship to me. And hell, who understands artists? Not even other artists. :)
Some random points:
* Yes, Clint is very much my friend. He and I don't always see eye to eye, but the man is like a brother to me. We're comfortable enough to speak the way we do to one another. I knew and he knew, this was more about him. But some of it resonated with concerns I had in place anyway. So in a sense, it wasn't really him anyway.
* Thanks for the props on the photos themselves. I really like photography. It's opened up a whole other aspect to my pursuits. And it IS hard taking photos of yourself. I don't even have a damn remote - just a 10 second timer!
* Sandra, Tijo, Michael Rodgers, Persephone, Mister Comedy, Sally, Angus, Michael Rogers, Juliette, Natalie, Odette Roulette, Karin, Emma (and several others whose names elude me because I'm so tired) thank you. Your feedback can be so powerful and kind and supportive and so well-written, I can only take it in bite-sized pieces for fear my heart will burst.
* To BitterSweet, I don't consider myself a narcissist, though you never know. I feel like I'm a narcissist by accident. I have no one else to shoot most of the time but myself. Frankly, I could stand a little narcissism at this point of my life. It feels good. Too much of my life has been the opposite. And I don't do it for any married men...not even sure where that came from? Maybe you're doing a Clint projection thing too? I really take those pictures for myself, first and foremost. Its creative and fun and they make me feel good about myself.
* To Smithery, Jimmy Mac and the people who recognize the difficulties of acceptance and friendship, thanks for your feedback. Friendship has been a little confusing for me lately. You're right. It's not about understanding but acceptance. That's why Clint will remain my friend, I'm pretty sure.
* To Yekdeli, Sally and the Chris Meloni fans out there, that was especially a nice treat to read. I feel like I know the man at this point. It's fun when others recognize him too.
Again, you guys are a real blessing. I'm thankful. Makes me shy. Oh, wait. I'm a narcissist! I can't be shy anymore! Yay!
I think Jon is on to something too. Boy what I wouldn't do to shoot you guys.
Sexy is not a crime. I think Clint's jealous because he wants you!
I was gonna try to go hit the sack after Freaky Toll Phd.
Beth Mann. Now I'll be able to dream pleasant thought.
My first impression was you were hitting walnuts open.
Ya sits with a hammer cracking away a the walnut shells.
Then, I looked closer. But I saw no hammer and a anvils.
All seemed beautiful. I agree. Ya got to walk circumspect.
O, I say as a criticism. I read it up-scroll. No. Ya Beautiful.
You just never know. People need to be cautious. O Friend.
O, your enjoyable to read and learn from. You seem normal.
You use a big mallet?
You smashing crab claw?
You be careful. You jogs?
Well, no slip on jellyfish!
Well it is believed that to be beautiful you must be confident, now does that equate to being a slut? A slut is a worn down word, used as the most usefull inference to describe someone who is down and dirty, a way in which men can keep believing that he and in some instances she is above the image. The image I get when I hear the word slut, is of some skant dressed python looking female, with a gaushe face, and slit eyes, that would cry piss. I don't think you look like that, thankfully. But the pictures are vibrant, they may have some imangination to them as well, which I sure tarnishes those that take dumb ass pictures of themselves, holding their breasts in akward postions, pissing in their underpants, hoping they don't get busted by the parents. Your blog is cool, and provocative, and somehow brings to mind, Nancy Friday's "My Secret Garden". I remembered reading that book when I was quite young, and I easily envisioned being voluptous at far too young an age, to understand exactly what that meant, but I loved it.
Push your boundaries. Excel as an artist. If that involves taking self photos, be they clothed or nude, just do it.
There was a time that I did figure/nude modeling. My friends were incredibly supportive.
Taking a photo ... being in a photo ... that is not slutty behaviour. Screwing one person, or eleventy-thousand people, does not make one a slut.
Live and let live. Love and let love.
(And I must say ... Christopher Meloni? Oh-my-friggin'-god ... that man features weekly in my fantasies. Handcuffs? Yes ... please. He was built that way. Crap ... I'm totally distracting myself.)
Anyway. Clint? Deep down, I think he does care for you. Except he's placing his own morals, his own lens, on your life. Do what feels right for YOU. Not him. Not me. Not anyone else. Again, do what feels right for YOU.)
Sheesh.
:)
Rated.
Cause Tink likes surfboard shots.
I don't sense that the slut label troubles you. It certainly doesn't trouble anyone here in the comments. It doesn't bother me either, for what it's worth.
I do think what troubles you is the fear of being average, as indicated in some comments. Clint is right on this: you are very normal, and the photos and internet are used as a tool mitigate this fact, as you yourself admit.
You want to be extrordinary? As a famous artist said to me not long ago, the way to live an extrordinary life is to appear as conventional as possible. This gives you freedom to break rules.
Those pictures don't break any rules. It's a superficial radicalism. Want evidence? Look how many similar pics are available on the internet? Those pics are cute but a dime a dozen.
As a matter of fact, your pics support the patriarchial heirarchy of the objectification and subjugation of women. You are volunteering the use of your image for a long entrenched notion of woman as object.
Most women, like you, know this but don't care because they have so little power in the world, and this is (they think) their one way to get it.
I don't even care for it when celebrities do this. Those pics say, "I don't have much, but I've got my ass."
You say you were down when Clint kicked you further? Clint may or may not be worth deleting, but don't think you will feel any better. Strong women (and men), people with authentic self-esteem, don't look outside for confirmation of it. Sadly, so few women like this really exist.
I say, be part of the solution not the problem.
Clint insinuating my photos were too much had a small effect on me. I'm surprised they did actually. But truthfully, lately, I wonder about the line there. No, I do not think my pictures support the patriarchal hierarchy, lord no.
At some point, it's alright to celebrate who you are physically without feeling like you're doing something feministically wrong. I do consider myself a feminist AND I also happen to like my ass. Again, I take those pictures because they make me feel good. And sometimes, artistically, I actually like them. That's a winning equation, I don't care what the man says.
But back to the entry itself, what really stung was his comments about success and money and if I'm getting so much notice, why aren't I any wealthier? THAT hurt. His views on my photos made me pull some down that were bothering me a bit anyway. But the financial compensation comments? That's bothersome. It's hard working so diligently as an artist and watching myself struggle all the time. It's painful and tiresome. It can be downright soul-depleting because it strikes at survival issues.
I talk to wealthier artists all the time. I work with them. And I know I'm their peer but because I don't have the finances to back them up, I often feel just slightly disregarded. Slightly less. My own deal, I know...but still, I'd like the full financial compensation that comes with being an accomplished artist. Myself and a lot of other artists as well I'm sure.
As for normalcy, I could only hope to be more normal! Actually, no I don't. I like that I'm my own constant surprise.
And, sometimes as an artist or producer you have to write your own name into the credits. Sounds like Clint wants to keep his text and visual images of you for himself. Thankfully, you own the distribution rights.
Clint's remark about the connection between worth and money is an ignorant one, that's true. It reveals lack of historical reference. Few artists see wealth in their lifetimes. Most are lucky to make a humble living doing what they do, and even more artists rely on other jobs not related to the making of art.
I know.
I know many, many successful (success meaning well known and regarded) living artists.
But, his remark about worth and money I think fuels the fire of your desire to get noticed, hence photo blogging.
Just a few days ago, members here were consumed with agitation over photos posted by teenagers and early twenties college students on Facebook. These photos often are similar to the ones you posted. Yet, the comments were mostly horrified ones, at the state of affairs of our youth.
Such hypocrisy! To be so disconnected!
To not see how pervasive these issues are!
Women should have the freedom to express sexuality in any capacity they desire, but they should not use sexuality as a substitute for self-esteem.
Consider that as a clue to your blues.
I think, if you had more "success", you would have little desire to draw attention to yourself with these images.
You sound like a delightful woman. I like the way you think, but the photos do not do you justice. So, although for different reasons, on this I agree with Clint.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1993368502337678412
I think the real risk you took is not the clothes, but people not getting the gentle humor. I think a more... or maybe it's better to say less earnest...readership might have responded differently.
Though, just to be clear. It also works because there some genuine sincerity. So I don't think people are wrong to respond as they did.
Great balance. You should try this out on different readers.
Jouissance, my friend. The french word for the joy of transgression. Art is full of that. We need to get a word like that into the English language.
OK, here goes: I love those cute, funny, flirty pics.
In its purest form I think it's about honesty and the artist reflecting her world back to others, altered by her perspective. And there's nothing more lovely than a beautiful woman saying "Eff you, World!" and truly inhabiting her skin.
These are great pictures. I'm totally in favor of you reposting them in any place you like.
Hopefully your friend Clint was playing devil's advocate and not being as silly as he sounds.
By turning the camera on herself, Cindy Sherman has built a name as one of the most respected photographers of the late twentieth century. Although, the majority of her photographs are pictures of her, however, these photographs are most definitely not self-portraits. Rather, Sherman uses herself as a vehicle for commentary on a variety of issues of the modern world: the role of the woman, the role of the artist and many more. It is through these ambiguous and eclectic photographs that Sherman has developed a distinct signature style. Through a number of different series of works, Sherman has raised challenging and important questions about the role and representation of women in society, the media and the nature of the creation of art.
My advice (not that you asked, but here it is anyway) would be to really think about why this whole slut thing has affected you so much and put it into your art. Your pictures are starting to go somewhere but it's not clear yet where. They seem stuck between home snapshot and old-style playboy. None of that is bad, but it's just not a complete thought yet. Do more, see where it takes you and be mindful that art is intentful. Even if your audience doesn't get it, you should know what you are aiming for.
Not so sure about Eliot Stabler, however. P.s. . Did you know Carol Burnett is going to be on an upcoming episode of SVU?!!
but, I also don't think Clint is being an asshole. Maybe not the most supportive friend and I definitely think he has a narrow view of "artists." But I also believe he is reflecting his view "as a guy" and projecting what/how he thinks guys think. What I hear him saying is twofold: to you it's about art, to some random guy - it's about sex and that's all he's going to see/want. and 2. making the photos public blurs some sort of boundaries between a private self and public self.
I'm not suggesting he's right or making a judgement on your work; I'm just saying that I understand where he might be coming from because I have thought about the boundary issues around FB/blogging/etc. and how it's shaken the compartments I built for my own life.
I also wonder if Clint is projecting a bit that you might be intimidating to guys (e.g., potential suitors) out there.
it seems we are roadkill in the culture wars -- DOA long before we hit the front lines! and isn't it better that way? I can't think of another game where the winners lose most consistently manage to spend whole lives avoiding themselves!
and what fun is that?
and obviously, by the tsunami of comments, many many people cheer on the underdog, in fighting a rather frightening fight that
they may not want to be caught dead in!
and who could blame them?
and poor clint! Isn't he just expressing concern as he scripts you into a nightmare, and sees all those dreadful things happening to you, right there behind his eyes?
sheez!
we are silly creatures, eh?
but i see that you are fine, really - bold and free to be intimate with your experience as it flows from within. And to claim with such vigor your birthright to be yourself!
and, if i may add -- doing a bang-up job of it!
;-)
You. Are.
You.
and I enjoyed this post immensely ~
More power to you for being comfortable with who you are, I say!
That being said, I adored this: "I wish I was a "slut", whatever the hell that stupid word means. I wish the rumors would fly up and down this dumb island, "Hey, there's Beth Mann. What a slut! She just won't stop fucking. Nobody can stop her. She's literally become a fucking machine." I'd walk by and switch my ass, and drink in all the disapproving looks, like a form of foreplay.
I wanna be a slut too.
Singpretty, thank you much for the photo direction advice. I could stand for some. I'm freewheeling it with this new hobby, and really loving it - but unclear. I very much feel stuck between home snapshot and old-style playboy.
I do know of Cindy Sherman. Her stuff is stylized, I feel planets away. So I wonder what to do when you don't have that "mission statement" in place? Make up one, right? Hmmm...that will be tough. Frankly, I don't have a clue what I'm going after. I just like dressing up, grabbing my camera and trying things.
Sandra, you are right. There are still shame issues I contend with, but not as much. Clint's take on my photos has less effect on me than the comments about success and being an artist. That's why I wrote about it - hoping the mere act of writing about it will expunge it somehow, magically. I'm not sure if writing is capable of that. We'll see!
So many people say so many nice things here.
It's here: http://open.salon.com/blog/bbd/2009/03/14/photoshop_portrait_sandwich
http://www.e-sawa.com/
Enjoy!
You know what I mean.
You are beautiful. Fucking beautiful. And that, dear one, scares the shit out of Clint.
Like I said, the pics are a dime a dozen (the pics not Beth).
The pics are normal. The internet is rife with it.
She busts no boundaries here. It's been done.
As a matter of fact, those pics reinforce the strictest of enclosures.
Curious as to why?
Please, please go to the link I provided earlier which says it better, and with more evidence, than I can here. If you aren't too attached to being right, you will probably be as revolted as I:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1993368502337678412
Ya fit in @ Open Salon. You walk a beach with rubber flip flops. They called.
blue crocks.
Ya ready to plant your Burpee seeds, bushes, and coconut trees?
O. Glorious. Beautiful flowering shrubbery. Ay, sleeveless t-shirt?
Yea. A day to praise and affirm a seaside loving radical. Beth Mann.
You were spoke about. Esteemed. Regarded as exquisite. Fired up. The sauna today was great. I wish You were there, O, and you'd fit!
O, I mean. There was steam, fragrances, and splashes of ice waters.
At the end? It's a fun wash up time. Ice water makes You so sensate.
Cold water pierces to the bone marrow. Then, we pour warm water.
My favorite time is scrubbing down others with Dr. Bronner's soap.
It's called:`Hemp Rose - Pure Castille ~It's made with organic oils:`
Organic hemp oil. Oops. Coconut milk. Jojoba oil is a Natural Rose odor? I love moo-cow lanolin smells. Senses get poked in the sauna.
It'd called Magic soap. It's just plain soap. I rinse with Sandalwoods.
O, Aromatherapy. Homeopathy Plain old herbal soap PLANT LIFE.
There is an Indian CHANDRIKA soap. It's a fancy Ayurvedic Laud?
a non animal fat oil soap. maybe another day. I ask:`saunas are shy?
It's normal? Ay, Whatever.
Whatever is the `normal?
Thank you again, Machig, for your comments and video, which I watched from beginning to end.
For me the difference between all the photos that bombard the Internet and my images is...me. They are MY photos. I like to believe I own my sexuality, I'm discovering and uncovering it, I'm exploring it - it's fun and dare I say, innocent?
My loneliness (or aloneness as I prefer to call it today) hasn't dictated my photography or any other creative pursuits. It's fed them perhaps but hasn't dictated them.
I wonder what the alternative is? Do I have to prove a political point with my photographs? Can I be sexy in any sense of the word? The sense of the word, for me, is how I (underlined) define it. And I think that reflects in my photos.
Interesting to note: one of my photos is with my surfboard. It's a short board and very difficult to maneuver. I surf, and surf hard, primarily with men. The other is me doing chores around my home, hanging clothes, finding sexy in the banal. The one on the beach? I was feeling quite down and wanted shots to capture that feeling. The first photo? Me feeling vulnerable and wanting to capture that sensation. My photo of Clint? Me, capturing his sexy side (which is pretty damn easy to do.)
In a nutshell, its the intent behind the photos that matter. Most people can sense the intent, I believe thereby negating the potential of objectification or sexist stereotyping.
And I like puppies and the Fourth of July!
I'm off to watch me some Law & Order, baby.
"In the criminal justice system...."
You should do a book with these photos...
The most important thing in the world is to identify your comfort level, and you seem to have done that admirably. Clint sounds like he really cares about you, so don't judge him too harshly. But you seem to have figured out what makes you happy - and that is THE most important thing, figuring out what makes you happy.
Stay happy, girl. And I absolutely loved Sandra's comment - it was (as usual) right on the money.
Rated.
Rated and Bravo to you.
And while everyone's doling out advice, I'll just say that I think you should just pick up and move to Hawaii. That's what I'd do if I was single and loved surfing!
I'd be pissed if you were my friend.
I hate it when my friends make be look bad by comparison!!
I hope he comes to his senses.
I'm kidding of course. Mostly.
Good post.
One aspect of your conversation with Clint seems to be a difference of perspective about whether to follow your dreams or accept what is already there.
As regards your art, I'd say follow your dreams and fantasies every time. You are clearly talented and have drive. If that means posting naughty but nice photos of yourself on the net, go for it.
However, as regards sex and relationships, I think the territory is different. Christopher Meloni is not going to climb out of your television screen, but Clint is there in the apparently rather beautiful flesh. I think that freely translated from manspeak, what he was saying was: "I don't like you posting those saucy photos because I want to be the only one who sees you like that."
However, ironically if he were actually your lover, he would probably not care so much (assuming he is reasonably secure and has a sense of humour). He would see the joke that while other guys are getting a little taste of what it would be like to be with you via your art, he shares the whole banquet.
Alternatively, if he has a penchant for long distance travel and older European women, you can send him to me ...
Princess Fiona, thanks for your overseas comments. Lovely. Funny, I don't think Clint is interested in me at all. We've been friends for years and there's a substantial age difference (not that that's stopped me but...) If there's any envy or jealousy, its not of the sexual/romantic variety...at least none that I've noticed.
Thanks MaryTKelly. I was curious what you'd say after your fantastic Facebook post.
And Mezzoid, I can't believe that person shamed your 25 Things on Facebook. That's kinda where it originated! People can be so mean-spirited at times. You're not junking up HIS space - its your space! Plus, that was a fun, personal exercise (though, ironically, I just deleted mine from MySpace!)
Thanks to the rest for kind comments and dissenting comments. Lots to think about.
What else would they believe in a male-dominated society with a Republican male-controlled media, except that all women want are men. Little girls too often obediently subscribe to this notion, usually to be horribly disappointed, but so do boys. This partially explains the insanity of men who kill their girl friends, ex-girl friends, wives, ex-wives (three a day in this country!) because they want a divorce or want to leave or found a new man....in other words, "You have me, bitch, a man!! That's what you're supposed to want and now you want to leave me?!! BANG!"
And women are the "emotional, crazy" ones!!! No....more stupidity from a male-controlled society. It's MEN who are the emotional, crazy ones. How many men are willing to kill themselves just so they can kill a wife/girl friend first?!! THAT'S craziness!!
Even women use these terms much too often. Why?!!!!!!! Women who dress a certain way, who like sex, who like to experiment with sex, or who have multiple partners, are WHORES and SLUTS??!!Men are ALWAYS studs.....No, men are the true whores and sluts!! I raised my daughters not to use such words exclusively for women, if ever, but apply them equally and more frequently to men....who are usually the ones with multiple partners, etc.
Good Lord! It's the 21st century, for Christ's sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You look good Beth and I like your courage in exploring yourself and your self-expression.
I understand, really.
Perhaps I will suggest that my daughter should write WWGD (What Would Granny Do) on a post-it note and attach it to the computer screen. On second thoughts, I think I may need to have a more realistic talk with my daughter at the week-end (and I do periodically ask her to show me her Facebook page, as she is quite young).
I'm quite curious about how social networking affects people's real life behaviour and relationships, as I have spent most of my life in a world where such things didn't exist and have a child for whom they are a given.
You may not care to answer, Beth, but I wonder whether the response you have received here have in any way influenced what photos you have chosen to (re)post on FB and MySpace? Also, what has Clint made of all this- is he amused, aghast, blissfully unaware, heading for the hills?
Interesting...what would Granny do. I think my mother and my grandmother would be pleased by my work, interestingly enough. And my father as well. I think if they were alive, they'd be a little taken aback but overall supportive.
Yes, the "Clint" factor has been kinda tough. I do write about my life and my friends are aware of that, but frankly, I had some moral trouble with this. I called him and told him over the phone. He didn't sound thrilled. He didn't ask to see the piece, which was interesting. Maybe an "ignorance is bliss" thing. But...had I to do it again, I would have really checked in more thoroughly. Truthfully, I would have been a bit upset with a friend for a blog like this, with photos and all. With that said, he kinda...invited this a bit - questioning my work, my photos. Hard call but I think it errs on my side more resoundingly.
As for the photos, I don't think I'd change those much. Sometimes I'm alright with some photos being up and other times, I feel a little uncomfortable with certain ones. But mostly, I'm really, really happy with photography. Its brought a lot to life for me, creatively. The blog entry, well - its not fictionalized but exaggerated a bit. I take creative liberties, playing up the shame factor a bit more to make a point (god I hope you are the only one reading this!)
Anyway, I want to check out your stuff and send me emails if you post something new. And put up a regal pix. Like this one:
http://laheie.com/portfolio/regal-queen.jpg
http://www.wga.hu/art/h/holbein/hans_y/1535h/04cleves.jpg
http://cli.gs/W7YJZH
In truth, Princess Fiona was a nod to Shrek.
http://www.fanpop.com/spots/princess-fiona/images/1460273
My name really is Fiona, which is unusual in the UK and seemed to baffle everyone I met elsewhere until Shrek married his lady ogre, Princess Fiona. As you probably know, PF is originally an ogre by night and human by day, but chooses to go full ogre when she falls for Shrek. My family feels I'm already well down that track, so it has become a bit of a standing joke.
At the moment I'm easing myself into OS by reading other people's blogs and making a few comments, but I'll certainly let you know when I get to posting my own stuff.
I asked about how the responses here had affected you because as they were mainly positive, I thought perhaps they might have made you feel more confident about your photography. However, it sounds like you were already there.
I hope that you and Clint may be restored to harmony at some point. At its best, friendship can also be an art form ...
Love your photos, and seeing who you are, how you're feeling, how you're doing.
You must share more, you hot little devil.
I was at first going to suggest that Clint STFU and that next time you drop the surfboard. ... But that would probably get me categorized by Persephone as a "dicktard." So I thought I'd better post at least a couple more complete sentences with proper punctuation and grammar to at least avoid the "tard" portion of the label.
Thanks to scupper (and her BEST OF 2009) I found this post -- and she's right. You've managed to put into words the great struggle of artists everywher.
Thank you Beth Mann. You slut.