Beth Mann's Blog

Beth's Urban Tales of Wonder and Decay

Beth Mann

Beth Mann
Location
Long Beach Island, New Jersey, USA
Birthday
November 11
Title
Presidente
Company
Hot Buttered Media
Bio
I'm a writer and creative consultant. I have years of experimental comedy and strange theater under my belt. I surf. I cook. I love wine, men and song. And oh puppies. I effin' love puppies.

APRIL 8, 2009 10:32PM

A Semi-Scandalous Day at the Beach (in Pictures, Mostly)

Rate: 40 Flag

Feeling a little under the weather last Sunday, I decided not to forgo surfing and shoot some photos of The Brothers on their long boards instead. I quickly realized that shooting surfers is not only difficult but slightly boring.

But here are two prerequisite shots of Kurt and Kyle surfing anyway:





























See? Not very thrilling. I mean, both guys are great surfers. I'm just not a surf photographer.

So I lay on the beach, basking in the new Spring sunlight and thought about an idea I have for a new series of photographs:

It's a scandalous idea, you see. I would exploit all the young surfer boys I hang out with by taking risque photographs of them. Not porn, per se...just a little edgy. It would make a great coffee table book! Mad wealth would ensue!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 I mean, listen - we've had it up to here (finger to neck gesture) with photos of hot, young chicks from a male's point of view. When do you see young men from a woman's point of view? A woman who, in some cases, is twice their age? Ah, just scandalous enough to work, Beth Mann.

But where to begin, where to begin?

As I roused from my sun-drenched semi-sleep, the answer was undressing right before my eyes. His name was....I don't know. But there he was. My first model, as if a sign from above!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He quickly noticed as I began snapping shots of him and didn't seem to mind at all. Au contraire. I think he put on his shirt and took it off about four times.

I shall call him Mr. January (for my calendar series, soon after the coffee table book is published.)














































 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(The real money shot, in my opinion)

Now, some may say this is a little distasteful. My God, I could be their mother! But guess what? I'm not. I'm not their mother. And at 42 years of age, I care less and less what people think. I'm not bedding these guys (and if I was, then what? Am I desperate? Pathetic? Should we burn the witch?), I'm just appreciating them in their steamy prime as I pine away at the Jersey shore. Is that so wrong? Wait. Don't answer. Cuz look! I'm not caring again!





















(The look of me not caring)

Then I decided to take a few of my friend Eric the next day. Eric is the most poetic surfer of the bunch. He's a musician and really into death and Gothic romance. He's got a delicate, sweet quality to him that I just adore. He was tough to photograph because he's a little shy. But I think we're on to something. This was just a warm-up. I think I want to put him in a bathtub, naked, with a boa constrictor or something.































(Sure he looks a little wary of me now. But throw a boa into the mix...)

You see, I'm a bit of a pariah down here. In a traditional suburban area, where a woman of my age is either unhappily married with four kids or divorced, raising said four kids on her own, or dead from a meth overdose, I often stand alone, like a 42-year-old single unicorn.

Sure, I hang out with married couples sometimes and usually want to stick my head in a bucket. Most seem so resigned, so discontent. The few that seem happy, well, I desperately long to have what they have...but I don't have it right now.

So I surf, a lot. And these are the boys I surf with - young, silly, strong, daring, awkward at times, just trying to find themselves.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 (Clint, the oldest Brother)

Since I'm not much of a people lover, these young guys have been a real salve to my raw misanthropy and a boon to my spirits. I see them struggle to find themselves, their voice. They are still vulnerable and open and surprisingly gentle, for all of the testosterone coursing through their veins.

They open up their lives to me, without all the decades worth of protective guise and bullshit we layer upon ourselves. Simply put, they make the whole human process seems a little sweeter to me. I like watching them unravel like pretty little manly flowers.

And I plan on making a scandalous calendar called, um...The Boys of Summer. No, Girl Gone Wild or All of Beth's Dudes.
$21.99.

Just click here to purchase.

Beth, as a Unicorn

(Beth, as a Jersey unicorn)

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Comments

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Wow, Beth, I can relate. Nice photos!
this is a great little photo/word essay of the jersey surf culture, and i didn't even know there WAS a jersey surf culture.
but beth, i'm a little horrified at the objectification of men these sorts of pictures may encourage. if you want me to buy the coffee table book you'll need to include more objectification of lady surfers as well, a la some of those shots from that post you did awhile back where you were posing with surfboards etc, which were, not to put too fine a point on it, HAWT!!!
Beth Mann. I would pay the big $21.99 for that calendar. Seriously, single mothers with no life...You would make us so happy, living your life vicariously. Then after that, do the hot TV cops calendar!
Damn, this is seriously hot. Go bed one or two, who's stopping you? Then you can take pics and tell us about that too. GORgeous photos and a wonderful essay. Finally, objectifying men for fun and profit!
Great. Being 42 gives you the freedom and thoughtfulness necessary to really appreciate the beauty in these guys.
Fabulous idea!

As far as being old enough to be their mother, I'm old enough to be my charming husband's mother, but I'm NOT HIS MOTHER, so what does it matter?
i was really hoping for more scandalous beth pictures but i guess these will do.
I like your pictures, Beth. Cool vision. I like your world!

Also -- MoniqueC: Excellent comment!
"Simply said, they make the whole human process seem a little sweeter to me.."
DITTO!!!!
Well done, Beth!
Damn, it must be freezing down at the Jersey Shore right now!!
You are my idol! And you surf?!?
I'm all California and no surf in me. Too scary. A land lover.
Rated for the best idea I've heard all day!
I'll take two!
Thanks Beth - so delightful photos of a great beach day with friends - I get a "boon to my spirits" at the gym with the iron and the added bonus of active young male creatures for company. You look beautiful and happy. Good company and the jersey shore - what's not to love? Keep doing what you are doing, it looks great on you. Rated for positive life!
NOT their mother! Thanks, that made me laugh out loud.

Eric is adorable, I think shy is good. Clint's belly, also good.
You outlaw! Just love this Beth. The sweetness and vulnerability of young men... Monique is perfectly correct!!
There's surfing in Jersey? Wow, I didn't know that...
Leave it to Jeff to continue his thankless fight for equal rights.....Great photo essay, Beth! lol
Great post. I laughed, I cried (well, ok, I didn't cry) but it made me think of the beach and the female surfers!
RATED
great pics; and you see i really think the calendar is a good business idea, you get it done and put it on amazon;
a friend of mine did it with a dog calendar and she sold a bunch. It could fund an art project or two
You're a woman after my own heart.
A great essay. I felt myself on a sunny, windswept beach, watching surfers tossed about by the waves. To further research the subject matter of your coffee table book, you may be interested to read Germaine Greer's The Beautiful Boy.
Thanks, Monsieur Chariot. I just spent some time researching Germaine Greer and that was so helpful. Very interesting woman! That helped define some direction for me, which was needed.
Oh you tease! I want to buy the calendar. Please let us know when 2010 is hot off the, uh, presses.

I, too, have braved possible death by driving up Route 1 from Bodega Bay through Mendocino. It's worse coming back because then one is on the ocean/cliff/death side of the road. But, oh, those redwoods!
Beth, beautiful picture of you on the beach. No, you're not too old to be their mother and bottom line, you're not their mother! Think Demi Moore!
Wait wait wait... I've spent 25 years sixty miles from THAT? Gah.
Any of those guys would be lucky to spend some quality time with a 42 year-old like you, Beth. I really like the pic of you not caring. And I really like the line, "Should we burn the witch?"
Hmmmm, meth overdose, does have kind of a nice ring to it. Rated.
This is a good theme. I think you should develop the boa constrictor idea. Keep posting these pictures of real boys. They're just beautiful.
I have a surfer son your age...but I do prefer to seem them younger and more vulnerable. There is something intrinsically wonderful about young men who have no idea the effect they can have on...well, you know.

Lovely photos, and of you too!
"Sure, I hang out with married couples sometimes and usually want to stick my head in a bucket." Me too. Almost all of them are so unhappy.
"Sure, I hang out with married couples sometimes and usually want to stick my head in a bucket." Me too. Almost all of them are so unhappy.
Rated for full of the joys of springfulness. I live a few miles from the good Professor Greer and drive past her house several times a week. Sadly she doesn't seem to have any hot young men in swimwear lounging round in the garden, so you are clearly ahead.
Beth, great photos. So when are we going to see you surfing? Hang ten, baby! You go, Jersey Girl!
Beth, you are so attractive. And those lips... do you have black in you? Hehe... you know what comes next! OK, iggie that. It's the gin talking (but true enough).
Ive learned that when you say 'scandalous' and 'pictures', I best be hoofing it over to your place quick. And I am never, ever disappointed!
The married couples you speak of would die of jealousy if you showed them these photos. The picture of you "not caring" could be the cover and theme for a whole other coffee table book.
Yo, anyone who's a Jersey unicorn is still in their prime. Feast away, I say! Ain't no shame in it!
rated, the utter poetry in youth~ ah, but not wasted ...if someone with your eye can capture it and display it with such graceful prose.
Lovely.
beth girly, you are a crack-up! love your post, your writing and photos...nice muscles! (the guy, not you, sorry!) rated
You need to get to Biarritz in France. The surfing's good, but half the fun is watching people with surfboards on the roofs of their Citroeons clambering down the rocks to the eastern beach. There are some three-foot jumps to be made (lots of opportunities for sprained ankles and that). Then they hit the beach, and they're off and ... errr ... surfing, I guess.
I love your photos. They're _really_ good.
You know, about a year ago you posted a comment on my blog (wilybadger.wordpress.com) linking to this article. I only just now got around to reading it. Look, no one ever said I was quick about these things. I mean, I still have campaign pamphlets from Carter laying around somewhere that I keep meaning to read...

Anyhow, nice post, and some rather well-done, delicious pictures, too. Clearly I need to take up surfing... or at least watching surfers. :)