Unchecked children drive me nuts. When I have to tell someone's kid to rein it in, I want to send a bill to the parents for services rendered. So when I went to the block party at the end of the street this Labor Day weekend, the last thing I wanted to do was parent someone else's little monster.
This freckle-faced hellion is emotionally disturbed - a pretty vague psychiatric diagnosis for a smart, cunning and hyperactive 12-years old, who gives the word "brat" a whole new meaning. In the past, he has screamed in the middle of a gathering or blasted music full volume, for the sake of attention. He also sneaks alcohol at parties, which I was one of the few people to notice.
When I saw him standing at the entry way of the party, I let out an audible sigh. My night was about to be undone by an inebriated, troubled and pretentious 12-year old, desperate for attention.
Last year, he collected the "donations" for the block party. The adults put him in charge because of his hyperactivity. He has the perfect disposition to run around, take $10 from each attendant (for the band supposedly, since the block party hosts don't provide alcohol and the dishes are brought by the attending neighbors) and dutifully give the money back to the parents (yeah, right.)
As I entered, he ran toward me immediately, demanding $10. I told him I'd give it to one of the parents at the end of the night and please leave me alone. He proceeded to very much not leave me alone and ask me every 20 minutes or so until I demanded that he back off.
Several people I knew came up to me and complained about this kid's behavior. One family, visiting from out of town, had to pay $50 to get into this shindig! That's when I got mad and pulled the child aside and had my Wal-Mart moment.
"You overcharged that family. Go get $30 from your parents and give it back to them. Now!"
The child ran away from me, crying, "You called me a thief. I'm not a thief. I'm not a thief!"
That's when the suburban chick armies descended upon me.
The friend of the mother of the child marched up to me with a kid in tow, asking me in that putrid, sing-songy way, "Excuse me...is there a problem?" I looked behind her and saw several other local women glaring in my general direction.
"That child is treating the attendants rudely. And he also overcharged that family. There are 3 children and two adults. They brought their own beer. And no one should pay 50 bucks to get into a block party."
"Did you pay?"
"No, no I haven't. I was planning on paying when I left. My pocketbook is in the car. I forgot you guys charge for this. Besides, I live down at the end of the street and know one of the hosting families very well."
The hosting family I referred to are the Sumners. Their sons are the infamous Brothers I write about frequently and surf with often. They are like real brothers to me and we spend a lot of time together.
"Oh, so you're here for a free ride," she shot back.
"Yes, you got me. I get my kicks from freeloading at block parties. Listen, I was planning on paying. And see those guys there?" I said gesturing to the 3 brothers, red plastic cups in hands, leaning against a garage door. "I often house and feed them and lend them my car and have, on occasions, given them the shirt off my back. I've done more than my share of contributing."
"I don't care who you sleep with. There's a $10 fee to attend."
Whoa. Stop the presses. What?? Sex life? Who said anything about f-u-c-k-i-n-g? That's when my Walmart slap happy hand began to tremble. I looked at her dead in the eye.
"You're stepping over a line with me and you better back off. My non-existent sex life is none of your business. And for whatever it's worth, I don't sleep with any of those...boys. This is about a child who is out of control and I simply said something about it."
"Are you a parent?"
"Does it matter?" (Oh here we go: the holier than thou "You don't understand because you don't have a kid" speech.)
"If you did, you'd understand that he's an emotionally disturbed child."
"Well, I'm curious why you allow an emotionally disturbed child handle hundreds of dollars at an adult event."
"Do you want to do it? Feel free! Next year, you're the designated money collector. Happy? Are you happy you made a troubled child cry his eyes out?"
No, I wasn't happy at all. And I knew there wouldn't be a next year. Not here at least.
As I remain in this middle class suburban purgatory, I'm continually reminded of how little I belong and how my mere presence bothers people.
Who is this single female not saddled down in an unhappy marriage with unruly kids to fill an ever-aching void? Why does she hang out with men half her age? And why does she look so damn hot? (I added the last rhetorical question for my own ego's sake today. Sue me.) This "burn the witch" attitude would remain, no matter what I did, no matter who I did or didn't fuck.
When I realized our neighborly little conversation was going nowhere, I excused myself and began walking back to my car. The Brothers tried to stop me but it was too late.
How dare she question my morality? How dare she take the word of an emotionally disturbed child over a grown woman? If I was that troubled 12-year old, my mother would have demanded I apologize to that 42-year old woman, not the other way around! But I knew no apologies would come my way. I knew I'd be gossip fodder for this gaggle of desperate housewives until their husband's next lackluster affair.
As I walked down the street, tears intermingled with the new mascara I bought that day began to roll down my face. Suddenly, I heard a laugh and looked to my right. There was my dear, dead friend, walking next to me.
"What's so funny, Kris?"
"That you'd let this bother you. At all."
"I know, I know.
"Beth, you don't care about these people. You're beyond this. See it as a sign to move on."
She opened the car door for me and got in the passenger's seat and lit a cigarette. (Cancer isn't an issue for her anymore, thank god.)
"Come on. Let's go back to your house and watch some Law & Order and drink some wine. That always makes you feel better."
"Should I run back and give that woman ten dollars?"
"Fuck, no. Beth, you're not going to win no matter what you do. So you might as well live out your reputation as a freeloading slut."
"So true."
I hugged her vapory essence and she continued to laugh. Not in a mean way, in that celebratory "fuck it" way.
I began laughing too. Alone, in my car.
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so you know, I'll be the freeloading slut standing right next to you, k? k.
I HATE that putrid sing-songy voice. I think you're right though; it's the hotness as much as anything else that gets under their skin.
besides - wine & law & order sounds better than either block parties or child hauling! sorry the mommy brigades got you down -
very good points, all of you. AWD....too funny!
MYOB!
Work on the challenges that are properly your fucking problems. If some family wants to pay $50 for no good reason to some disturbed kid or just plain asshole, what the fuck does that have to do with you? What are you, the block party entrance fee police?
The faster you move on from nonsense the less impact it will have on your own sense of happiness.
beth, a fabulous funny read in a frustrating sympathetic way. I'd much rather read your stuff than sit through any episode of desperate housewives. also, you so know how to write.
And don't listen to NeilPaul. He's a lawyer and overcharging is something near and dear to his heart, no doubt.
but this family seemed to not possess the same amount of funds as some of the other families here. and they were visiting, for god's sake.
since this is a block party and i live on the block, i feel i have some civic responsibility.
in short, i felt badly for them. i'm not usually the boundary overstepper type unless i think something is really wrong. i wouldn't have done anything differently, frankly. sometimes someone else's business should matter to you.
in short, hopefully, i'll never be mugged in your presence!
I recommend Austin:)
Only I need me some Brothers.
Ah, the old "Are You A Parent" maneuver...believed by some who've spawned to be the conversational equivalent of a Checkmate. Whatever.
I can't bear it when women get the idea into their heads that because they have children they are somehow more noble or righteous than those of who don't.
You were already on their shit-list, you should've just smacked the kid. (Kidding!)
This weekend I told a 10 (11, 12? I can never tell) year old boy I was going to "knock him on his ass" if he threw a frog at me (it was a knee-jerk reaction, I didn't want frog pee in my hair). I very much expected to be reprimanded, but his dad thought it was funny. Parents are weird.
Loved it.
But a 12 year old (emotionally disturbed or not) is a whole other story. A 12 year old is the same size as some adults, and should not just be allowed to run riot, steal money and cause mayhem at an adult, public event. You absolutely responded appropriately. Oh, and I get into those situations (and get handed the "But you're not a mom card") sometimes, too. If I feel like it, I'll mention my 15 years of teaching/nannying and my Early Childhood Education degree. Most of the time, though, I don't bother. The idiots aren't worth it.
By the way, I ended up parenting someone else's child on the bus today. She was actually a charming little girl; three years old. But her Mom was just not keeping a proper eye on her. She started chatting with me and I chatted back. She was eating an apple, and dropped a piece on the floor (the dsigusting, filthy floor) of the bus. She would have picked it up and eaten it if I hadn't stopped her! And then, when it was time for them to get off, she lagged behind and her mother almost let the doors close (and the bus drive off!) without her. I quickly picked her up with one hand, held the door with the other and nudged her toward her Mom, so they could both get off. I don't like to think about what might have happened if I hadn't been there.
Excellent writing, and what an ending!
You're like every adult I knew when I was a kid.
"I'm an adult, therefore right and sensible and you're young and wrong in every way."
I believe very little of your account.
Fuck that.
Because of my "training," I'm now often shocked by the way people raise their kids. With this particular boy, he's had a lot of bad stuff happen to him (join the club, right?) And truthfully, I feel badly. He's acting out. He's in need.
But not restraining him isn't helpful either. It's as if the parents say to themselves, "The kid has gone through enough. Leave him alone now. Let him do whatever he wants."
I don't know - don't want to sound preachy but I feel like kids in that position cry for some boundaries or discipline (a word I'm loathe to use because it usually has negative connotations.)
Sheesh. Hate to admit it but even posting this scares me. Afraid of the local fallout. Not that many people even know or care that I'm an artist or a writer. I think I see torches at the end of the street.
I would have handed the mother 10 bucks and loudly requested that she treat him to a nice steak and eggs breakfast to alleviate his certain hangover in the morning.
You showed class, so I wouldn't worry about it too much.
And as for the block party, I'm horrified that anyone was charged money to wander around his or her own neighborhood. If you have a party, have a party. Charging money for it is bullshit, especially with no booze.
And again, those women were hideous beasts and deserve to have a car seat shoved up their butts.
I do live the way you tell a story Beth. You've got a gift.
Anyway, just know that you are always welcome for free at any party we throw.
We'd all drink beer and argue music. After a sufficient amount of beer we'd all sing Rod Stewart, Air Supply, and Barry Manilow tunes. It would be rad.
Smiling Penelope, you are right. There was no triumph. But I wasn't telling some moralistic fairy tale, I was telling a tale of my life, where there often isn't some clear winner. I didn't go head-to-head with a 12-year old, I went at it with a woman who is a mother and a wife here. Even then, no clear winner. Generally, I find life to be very lacking in clear triumph, I don't know about you.
And to all of you (grey avatar chickens) who think my tale isn't true...I never said it was. This is creative writing and my blog is titled "Beth's Urban Tales of Wonder and Decay" with a stress on tales. When was I required to tell the truth? Believe what you want and toss the rest.
Or maybe Dharmabuster is on to something, with the Austin suggestion.
I've been toying around with a quick stay in either Manchester, Edinburgh or Cardiff. 6 months, just for a change of pace. Hmmm...the UK, where tea is brewed and scones are chewed.
Fuck those bitches and don't give them a second thought. I am sick to the death of parents who defend their kids' bad behavior, and who behave badly themselves. That's probably where the kids get it in the first place. I decided earlier this week that there are certain things that I'm not going to tolerate any more and sanctimonious bitches and their demon spawn are near the top of that list.
Fuck those bitches and don't give them a second thought. I am sick to the death of parents who defend their kids' bad behavior, and who behave badly themselves. That's probably where the kids get it in the first place. I decided earlier this week that there are certain things that I'm not going to tolerate any more and sanctimonious bitches and their demon spawn are near the top of that list.
I'm personally glad you came to the defense of the overcharged newcomers. I might have personally chosen a different tack though - trying to find the parents or someone else in charge and quietly asking them to handle it. I have a few friends whose children cope with various issues, Ausberger's and Tourette's among them. It's incredibly stressful; they have to fight for every accomodation that the school will give them and this sometimes becomes a habit - they get overly defensive.
Of course, here I was reading and trying to give the parents the benefit of the doubt, then the mother jumps in with the ridiculous and hateful sex accusation. Good grief, Beth, you need a new block. In spirit, I'm walking out of that party with you. I admire your courage.
The Ramones knew how to handle out of control brats.
Highly Rated
____Tallmingle.com____ has lots of sports fans there! besides, it's hot models, milfs, sexy chick s and handsome young men and chicks mingle club!!LOL
You are powerful, (obviously so) and therefor a threat.
I suggest throwing your own party and at the end of the night you charge each person a fee as to how annoying they have been all day/evening. I imagine you could make a fortune.
Ah, if such a party could be possible in this world!
And I would gleefully pay BIG money to watch it all unfold.
You could also throw a tranny-stripper fest and be sure to invite *all* the families. Such a win-win situation, no?
Yes, I *am* evil. :)
The kid, by asking you for the cash every 20 minutes (which is not a lot) was saying pretty clearly (but not articulately) that he WASN"T cool with your 'I'll pay later' scheme.
When you told the kid to give the money back, again, you showed less respect for him than you would for an adult. Instead of asking him what the rules were (or asking to see his "manager") you gave him direct orders with no authority. Would you do that when some pimply teen at Starbucks charges an outrageous sum for a few Lattes?
Maybe the kids a hellion, maybe he's emotionally disturbed, but your problems were caused solely by your attitude towards him and, by your own admission, to kids in general. Frankly, I'd be one of the glarers.
I don't care if you like kids in general or that kid in particular, but if you want to be anything other than a jerk, treat kids with the same respect you'd show an adult.
I am creative non-fiction writer. That's what I do. I create stories .
When Cartouche postulated what's wrong with OS...or what's changed, more accurately, I should have addressed this: this isn't some group therapy session.
And I'm a highly imperfect human, just as many if not all of the readers here. So please don't mistake my writing for some morality lesson.
The kid was wrong, I was wrong and you're wrong. And we're all right at the same time. This isn't some black or white picture show.
In short, stop judging me. This isn't the forum. This is about writing.
And FYI - I did explain to the child that I would pay later, just as I would have explained to the adult. I live here. It's an effin' block party - not an inauguration ball.
I don't have a problem with ALL children - ones that are disrespectful and unchecked by non-committal parents - yes. I showed that child the same respect he showed me.
And you're right, Mal., you would have been one of the glarers. And I would have happily glared back.
Rated for the sheer enjoyment factor.
But this feeling that your little turds should have carte blanche to be obnoxious because of some unspecified emotional problem is bullshit. Parents of such a child shouldn't be compelled to keep them locked in the attic -- most of the time -- but it behooves them to keep them under control. Nobody who doesn't have to (read: family) should be required to put up with an emotionally disturbed kid when he/she is in obnoxious mode.
And Mal, FWIW I don't think it's a matter of showing the kid the same respect you'd show an adult. It would be different if the kid were acting like an adult, but he was acting like an obnoxious little shit. Put it this way: How much respect would one be required to show an adult who was acting that way?
I've had a few of those "not my little angel" moments over the years. Parents validate poor manners and behavior and then are totally surprised when little Johnny grows up and steals his first car or gets slashed up in a bar fight.
I don't have any kids either, ( by choice, thank you very much) but I know that teaching your kids that misbehaving and entitlement aren't going to make them much of an adult. You don't have to be Freud or have kids to know that.
Quazi-paranoid that a piece not tagged as "personal account" would be taken so literally. Even more disturbed that any one thinks this is a place for advice giving - maybe some personal sharing around politics and the like, I can understand, but this is a creative writing piece.
OS may need a little co-dependency help.
Thanks for the great read - couldn't stand that guys picture when I saw it - you are too "hot" to be next to that yucky thing!
Well, I loved it enough to STEAL IT.
I AM a Mom, but because I work full time, I've often been denied entry into the Mom Club. (Of course, being almost totally unable to engage in small talk also means I have no tools for the Mom Club. Or the "Girl Club", AKA "The Cheerleaders from High School", among other names they are known by.)
Loved it. I would have done something similar WRT out of control kid.....
I like that you're not willing to let those people push you around. We're alike in that way. And you have already taken the advice my mom gave me once after a somewhat similar confrontation: "Don't let those people live in your head rent-free!"
Rich, words of wisdom. Same with Lisa, Sandra, Sirenita, Kelly, Tom, Gary, Voicegal and a slew of other wise ones.
Yes, what was I thinking? Perhaps that I'd meet one or two kindred spirits. Ultimately, I end up hanging out with the brothers. I guess 3 kindred spirits will have to do for this little town (well, maybe a few more than that.)
Interestingly enough, the next day I had this amazing experience: I met a prominent surfboard shaper. I know that doesn't sound like much but he was amazing. He worked out of this beautiful studio in the woods, living his dream, blazing his trail...and financially successful. It was a universal balance to meet him, for sure.
His company is Planet Blue and his name is Vince Balas. Beautiful boards. Just beautiful.
Anyway, when the brothers and I left, I felt so differently about the previous night. He was so much more an inspiration. I thought, "Oh and then there are amazing people like you, being real artists!" And the brothers were beside themselves. It was a real thrill. Kinda erased the crappy nonsense of the night before.
Again, thanks all for your input. I've read it several times because its so nice hearing from smarties such as you.
I remember being at a local playground one evening and while my husband pushed our daughter on a swing, I witnessed an older (7ish) sister terrorize her 3 year old brother. She was twisting his arm pretty harshly at one point and I told her to quit it in my harsh former teacher voice. She bust out crying and ran to her mom. I apologized to the mom for making her cry but explained exactly what I said and why I said it and the mom thanked me and in a lazy voice told her daughter to keep her hands off her brother. (The mom had been distracted talking to another mother, possibly a playdate of some sort). Ten minutes later the girl and her friends were ganging up on the little boy again, physically hurting him and mocking him for whimpering, and the mother again was oblivious, looking in completely another direction, talking to her friend. I just glared at the nasty girls and packed it up at that point, it was such a nasty vibe. But it stuck with me the rest of the night. I just wonder what that little boy will become one day if his sister's cruelty just goes on and on unchecked like that. One day he will be bigger than her and when he retaliates against her, everyone will treat him like the problem child as if it came from nowhere.
As I said, I have 6 kids and I have gotten 10o's of comments about how well behaved my kids are, once by a judge when we went on a home school field trip to court!
The judge said to my 9 yr old son "You children are well behaved. And my son replied "Thank you your honnor, this is how our mother has raised us"
Too many times today people have children and forget that "parent" is also a verb. It means you start with them as toddlers teaching them right from wrong, how to behave, manners, and to RESPECT their elders.
If they don't you dicipline them IMEDIATELY, even if that means they get embarassed in front of others.
I hate going to Wal-Mart because there are way too many brats running around. Even my kids coment on how unruly some kids are.
Oh and btw, where was the mother of the brat at the block party? Why was it his mother's friend who confronted you?
way late in replying as I was out of town a while.
I contend that there is a difference between being mugged and handing some kid fifty bucks. Maybe they felt pressured, I don't know, still, they were not robbed per se.
Anyways. With the benefit of many days to think it over, which you did not have that night, I think you could have acted more rationally and simply sought out the parents and suggested that their son make a small refund to the visitors given they are a young family and fifty dollars seemed too steep to you. Would they have been receptive? I don't know. Maybe they would have. Then the 'emotionally disturbed' kid could have played the hero and given them some money back.
I do not know of any time it really helps to confront a child in a scolding fashion if you are not their parent. Usually it doesn't work out so brilliantly when it is the parent doing the scolding.
Obviously my perspective on this vignette is based on massive distance from the situation and more time to think it over than it probably deserves.
I still say leaving it alone would have been a reasonable choice.
I like kids a lot. I just don't like those kids.
Anyway, kidmindy, you are right - I wondered why I was dealing with the kid's mom's friend as well. Strangely, she kept saying to me "You should have spoken to his mother not him." Under duress, I forgot to say, "I guess I shouldn't be talking to you at all, then."
neilpaul, again, back to the previous comment I left: this is a creative writing piece, first and foremost. I'm not writing this to be the subject of moral scrutiny. I'm writing this because I write stories.
And I'm not claiming to be an angel. I'm not postulating that I did the right thing. Hence the title. The fact that I wrote this piece shows I have a conscience and am examining my actions.
I'm sure most of perform actions and have to examine, after the fact, what we did right or wrong. And of course, even those answers aren't clear-cut.
The part I resent? These parents and this child are not doing ANY of this reflection, I can assure you. Not an iota. I am the bad person, period. You and I have spent infinitely more time examining this than they ever will.
These women had an issue with me anyway, it seemed to me. So no, I don't think anything good would have come if I approached the parents. Besides if they've deemed this child responsible enough to take hundreds of dollars, then in theory, he should be able to handle problems in relation to the money.
I don't want to scold anyone's children! I went there to enjoy myself, meet my neighbors. I'm mad that someone else's issue became mine. Yes, partly, because I made it mine. But this kid was so unruly, I felt compelled to do something. Trust me, I planned on drinking cheap beer and looking good. That was my goal.
maatcare, you know, I did check "reign versus rein" and I thought I had it right. Did some more checking and you are right. Change has been made. Thanks.
Lainey, I'm around lots of bratty children. This kid is troubled - hyperactive, wounded, manipulative. He's drinking at 12, for heck's sake. I think he desperately craves some attention and some boundaries. Your kid sounds like a normal, occasionally rowdy child. I've been around kids like that all summer and sometimes, I can still be like that!
mamoore, that motto sounds spot-on. I've had some serious hardships. We all have our crosses to bear. I do feel badly for this child - but letting him go so unchecked is not serving him at all.
Susanne, that is how I feel.
To the rest of you, great responses...but I think my roof just blew off!
You are welcome.
Oh, and you are a fantastic writer. The ending with your "dear, dead friend" (I have one who I talk to all the time) is a story unto itself.
Rated.
SPAY--NEUTER!!
And, I am NOT talking about immigrants.
I have none of these life forms thatr I know about and, I do NOT want to find any.
The little bastards in my neighborhood are hoodlums, litterers, etc.
And, the singsonger mother(f-ers) are just as self importantly bad bitches.
WTF? My mother never laid a hand on me - and she didn't have to! But I knew the appropriate way to behave in public (and private) because there were NEGATIVE consequences.
Today's parenting model is way too informed by the Parent Police. ... No, they aren't parenting their children, they are parenting other parents and anybody else who might remark on the fact that little Johnny just took a deuce in the punch bowl. "Oh, that's just his HDADWDSIFPDD acting up! Kids will be kids!" They are closely related to the Pregnancy Police who want to regulate all mothers to the point of bed rest and vitamin supplements.
Whew. Guess I needed to let that out! Let's have our own block party - and not invite your neighbors.
your explanation that it is creative writing first and foremost is well made and well taken.
I cannot count how many times I have been annoyed when some commenter gravely gave me some well-intentioned advice because of a perfectly fanciful post I have made.
Seeminly I have stumbled into the same error.
Sorry for that.
Of course your parents would have made you apologize, because you were not disabled or challenged in any way that would prevent your behavior from being anything short of normal. You can't expect the same behavior from a mentally handicapped (in whatever way) child to behave the same or better than their peers. Mental handicaps are invisible to the eye and only visible to the mind, if you take the time to observe.
That being said, I cannot fault you for being irritated. I mean you're only human and these kids (I know) can drive even their own parents to drink (actually their own parents are on the front lines 24/7 so they are already fully aware how annoying their child can be and they don't need anyone to point it out...... usually). But I wasn't there and I don't know how the parents behave, but I know it is exceptionally irritating when they are in denial and act as if there is nothing amiss. In which case, you would do better to take the matter up with the parents, not the kid. They might get made but they also may give what you say some consideration once they chill out for a while.
I commend you for having the bravery to write this.
Apache, I know it might come off like I'm so clueless, judgmental type. But I've been around this child many times. I've seen him act out repeatedly. I've seen the mother and other laugh or ignore his behavior. (And yes, I'm sure they get tired of swimming upstream!)
I know this child has some major stuff going on. And I have compassion for that. But when he's purposefully harassing me or possibly taking money from others, that's when I begin having a problem.
And guess what? Not with him. With that fact that I have to deal with him at all! While I do feel for him (I genuinely do), I don't understand why he was foisted upon us in such an irresponsible manner.
Also - for whatever it's worth - I felt as if my speaking firmly with this child (not in the way King Solomon way you implied), well, it was helping him on some levels. He was spinning out, wildly. I'm not a psychologist so what do I know? But I can guess that letting him misbehave only makes him feel more hyper and ungrounded.
But bottom line, I didn't want to make any of these decisions. I didn't want to track down the mother and explain the situation. I wanted to have fun and have some much needed social interaction.
I do have compassion for emotional problems and psychological issues. (More than most, I'd venture to say, since I deal with my own and others all the time.)
But there's a line. And I don't think I crossed it, I think many others did. The finger is pointed at me conveniently. And I find that unfair.
I do appreciate your opinion though, as always.
Thank you, Beth, please forgive me. About the kid. My kid had a challenging temperament, and I spent a lot of effort getting him to act in public, with little to show for it. That being said, if this kid is already drinking, I'm sorry to say that in a couple of years, the school, police and the court system will be telling that parent some very hard things.
Even minus the obnoxious neighbors, I think that suburbs, or any zoning situation with lots of housing and little else, is inherently lonely and isolating.
My kid has improved a lot, too, thank God.
Perhaps a new million dollar biz idea for you...
Beth Mann's School of Suburban Etiquette for Teenage Boys
Then you could have the parents pay you to put their obnoxious kids in line. I'll be happy to deliver the guest seminar on marijuana.
It drives me nuts when people don't discipline their kids--I work in a family-oriented museum, so we do see it. But letting an emotionally disturbed twelve-year-old collect the money at the block party is wishful thinking of the purest ray serene.
That being said...I have no problem helping out when appropriate. The other day in the grocery store, a sobbing boy was picking up a stack of phone cards he'd just knocked off a rack. His mother was giving him the talk: you didn't listen, if you don't stop the noise we're not going to lunch...sure did sound familiar. I asked the kid, "Can I help you pick these up? Everybody makes mistakes some times--not to interfere with your parenting," I muttered to the mother in haste. She gave me the "that's ok, go ahead" nod and the boy and I quickly put back the cards. "What do you say?" she barked at him. "Sorry," he said,. "No, to the lady that helped you..." I had moved on, by that time, but clearly A Parent Who Gets It. I always congratulate them when I see them.
Great story. Thanks! And forget about those asshats.
Your friend is right - it's their issue and not yours. Notice how this woman kept turning the tables toward you like it was all your issue instead of dealing with what was really going on? She has problems. Not you.
Rated.