Editor’s Pick
NOVEMBER 9, 2009 6:25PM
The Sexiest Men in Rock & Roll - A Scientific Study
"You want this."
Some think sexiness is in the eye of the beholder. But is it? Here at Silly Lists of Nothingness, we say its an exacting science that can be proved in labs with women in white coats using complex formulas that are beyond you, so don't worry pretty little head.
This isn't a case of "I think he's hot" as much as this guy is definitely hot - like, scientifically. These guys work it and they own it. We also threw in a few hot rock stars that are non-traditionally sexy but radiate that sexy vibe, which means there's hope for us all.
Here's the criteria which lead us to our findings:
- They ooze sexiness. They know they're sexy and show it off. They're cocky, sometimes literally.
- They look good in tight pants.
- They look good in tight pants.
The Top Ten Hottest Men in Rock
1. Jim Morrison
Topping our list is the Lizard King himself. Jim Morrison stands heads and shoulders above the rest, according to our esteemed panel. In fact, he sets the standard for the rest of the list. The man oozes sexiness, from his leather pants to his pouty lips. He even passes out on stage sexy. Not everyone can pull that off.
2. Sting (The Early Days)
3. Jared Leto
"Big ego, maybe...but I'm smoking. Just try to deny me."
4. Michael Hutchence of INXS
"I'm feeling cocky....can't you tell?"
5. Rod Stewart (Early Days)
"I plan on fucking a lot. I mean, a lot, a lot."
6. Trent Reznor
"I want to fuck you like an animal."
Likewise, I'm sure.
7. Mick Jagger
"Please...this list was invented for me."
8. Robert Plant
"Yeah, right, Jagger."
9. Elvis Presley
"Easy, boys. I clearly started the whole thing."
10. Billy Squier
"Stroke me."
11. Freddie Mercury
"I'm non-traditionally sexy but I got "it" in spades."
12. Chris Cornell
"I don't know why I'm here."
(Cornell wasn't going to make the list but as our team of scientists reviewed more photos, it was decided amongst our team that he would "not be thrown out of bed for eating crackers" as Dr. Lanci put it.)
13. Prince
"Bitch please. I should be number one."
14. David Lee Roth
"Need I say more?"
The People You'll Say Should Have Made the List and Why They Didn't
...scientifically:
1. David Bowie - While he is elegant, stylish and charming, he isn't sexy per se. He's got a little bit of an alien element to him as well which isn't sexy, at least on this planet.
2. Jon Bon Jovi - First off, we did say "rock." And Jon Bon Jovi is good-looking - no doubt. But not sexy. He's kinda cookie cutter good-looking, like a Ken doll.
3. Jeff Buckley - He's a little too poetic and sad to be "rock out with his cock out," as Dr. Lawrence so aptly put it.
4. Kurt Cobain - Raw beauty indeed - but too damaged to be sexy.
5. Skidrow's Sebastian Bach - A little too pretty for his own good.
6. Chris Isaak - Good-looking in a 50's sort of way, but not sexy.
7. Bruce Springsteen - Earthy, gritty...but not sexy. (Though the album cover with his ass on it is a step in the right direction.)
8. Steven Tyler - Sequestered to this list due to poor online imagery.
"This isn't fair."
Thanks to my esteemed colleagues Dr. Beth Mann, Dr. Ruby Lawrence and Dr. April Lanci-Leseur whose level of professionalism is remarkable and most importantly, scientific:
"Leave the science to us."
(And Candy, you'll always be Number One on my list!)
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AJCalhoun
Sparking
Dangerous Old Woman
Breaking Bad Season 3
Catherine Forsythe
Frank Indiana
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Comments
Great post :-)
I concur with the entire list, with a big whopping endorsement for Michael Hutchence and the Young Elvis...
Hey, do I have a thing for dead guys? Is that diagnosable? Ouch.
But I like the list. Loved the list! A great list, way better than a best looking or sexiest movie star. And I loved listening to the tune while I read the post.
Sandra, Anthony Kiedis we went back and forth on but eh, he's not at the level of the others, the lab decided. Mice were involved. But no harm came to them. We may still add him. I'll check with the technicians.
And Frank, I'll have to check up on Stephen Malkmus and Evan Dando. We're flexible here. As they must be.
Yeah, Kate...I'd have to say that shot of Hutchence is a bit...breathtaking.
And heck, no Vedder for this gal!
Really?
Back to the lab, Beth
Paul = Cute
John = Cool
George = Shy
Ringo = Fun.
Not sexy.
Mick worked it...and I'm not a fan of Mick. But he worked it.
Maria, Roger was tough. He doesn't really show off his sexiness per se. He's cute, he's rugged and he's very rock...but not steamy or anything. I almost put up Pete but my colleagues insisted I pull him down. I find him far more fitting of the list. He used to shake his ass and wear tight pants and smash things.
Jim Morrison creeps the hell out of me and he was mediocre.
Prince, Jagger and Sting all have real talent and intelligence, too, so might be worth a second look.
Elvis, too, before he got all messed-up on drugs and carbs. He had genuine spirituality and some interesting life experience, as well as talent.
Jim Morrison, without doubt ,the sexiest male RnR'er ever.
Elvis a distant runer up .
I would have chosen "Crystal Ship" however to represnent JM's animal charisma, however.
"..1000 girls, a thousand thrills,
One million ways to
your time" ?"
Hard to argue with that, ladies.
editec
A sexy man is just a sexy man ...yummy, sexy and omgoodness so edible....yummy, did I say yummy?
Excuse me, I need some air.....
As for Bowie, Eva, yes - he is all those things. And yes, he's sexy. But for this list, we compiled men who were a little over the top - peacock, showoffy sexy. Bowie is a little restrained for that. Cobain we had the same problem with - beautiful man but not the strutting type, like Jagger.
Ranting, I'm curious who your "one" is - hmm...I want to say Michael Huchence. No, Sting?
And of course, all, sexiness is subjective and we all have our own "lists." I was trying to compile a list where most of the guys were an easy "yes." Or at least a fun yes!
Why do I get the feeling I would be ripped limb-from-limb if I did the equivalent list about women rockers? (Well, maybe not, since at the top of that list I would put Chrissie Hynde--how could anyone object to that?)
No Leslie West (early years)?
No John Popper (early years)?
No Bun E. Carlos (now)?
No Paul Simon (now)?
I'm sorry but I have to question every man on your list with the exclusion of these obvious hotties. Come on, Beth, you can do better than this!
And hey, Pete Townsend may not be good looking, but I'd find him sexy, were I woman. But what the hell do I know, eh?
(also, believe it or not, my husband was a dead-ringer for that picture of Jim Morrison when he was in his 20s. It's true!
drool on ladies, droooool on)
: )
(he can't sing though....sooooo)
O'Really: Funny comment, but I think the words "shortcoming" and "bones" are too close together.
Thank you for leaving Bono off. I hate pompous rockers. (That's why Sting wouldn't make my list, either.)
Iggy would definitely rate a place on my list, as would Kurt Cobain.
As for sexy female rockers, my number one would be Stevie Nicks. Then again, she's not so much sexy as bewitching and pretty. Sexy? Hmmm...Carly Simon early years? Madonna...sure. I'd have to say Madonna, early. Britney before she went off deep end, early years. Catholic school girl era.
Chrissie Hynde, huh? Wow. I could see that maybe.
Duaneart, funny. Bun E. Carlos. Haven't seen any recent photos but one can guess.
And Douglas, first of all, there's not that many female rockers because it's a man's world. And you couldn't compare a list on female rockers as far as offensiveness because its apples and oranges, my friend. Women are constantly rated based on their sexiness, men, rarely. I like to objectify men just to balance out the scales sometimes. It's my job, as a doctor.
With that said, I would not rip you from limb to limb. Noting sexiness from a non-objectifying place, isn't annoying.
Mr. Blevins, please prove it. Wearing the pants Roth is wearing above.
But what, no Roger Daltry? Those long curls? that bare golden body? that swinging dic...uh, microphone?
Beth: I never thought either Madonna or Britney were sexy, ever. Also, they aren't rockers; they're pop stars. Watch the part in Juno again where Juno deconstructs what that obnoxious jerk who taunts her really wants. If all men wanted was T&A, would Diablo Cody have been able to make a living wage as a stripper?
No. Your smart dude wants a woman who's got some grit to her. Some intellectual heft. (What will you talk about after sex if you're sleeping with a bonehead? Oh wait, right; guys are supposed to fall asleep right after. I always forget that.) Some there there, if you see what I mean.
So yeah, Inara from "Firefly" is really beautiful, but who is the sexiest? Zoe.
My list would have a lot of Zoe types, and damn few Britneys. I mean, I'd put k.d. lang on there--talk about someone whose voice seduces you! I don't give a damn about her orientation!
Okay; I'm done now.
For the record, I have a better ass than David Lee Roth and I sing better too. And I've proved it here on both counts. But he's definitely richer than me.
Female Rocker? Debby Harry. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blondie_(band)
Stevie Nicks, sure. Her Rhiannon was very sexy -- her voice strong but vulnerable. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tR_i0sKWKEA
Look at those Bangs!!!
Landslide also.
Patty Smith, Because the Night.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0brHGJ6xqbk&feature=related
For me though, the sexiest man in Rock and Roll, no one's ever heard of, Andrew Eldridge of the band Sisters of Mercy
http://www.discogs.com/image/A-150-103994-001.jpg
(testing if this link works)
I'm not so sure that "damaged" should be a disqualifier, though...
great post.
I can't agree with leaving off Bruce. I'm thinking you may not have seen him live? And in the Bruce line is Gavin Degraw. Yowza. That man's entire performance is SEX.
I am on the side of including Bowie and Iggy (and female, Chrissie) , Cobain, and Roger Daltry and yep, Townshend too.
I would also have to include Michael Stipe. He makes me swoon (and yes, I know he's gay. Rock and roll is fantasy, remember?).
I'd leave off in a second: Plant, Squier, Roth, and Sting. Can't handle the pompous Sting and I always thought Roth was a joke.
And Lennon? Definitely sexy.
But, wait. With the exception of Prince (which is somewhat debatable), where are the brothers? Seal, DO IT TO ME... um, I meant Seal does it for me.
Rated for being such a fun topic, and for bringing back some happy memories of my misspent youth.
Prince?? Is he even human, not sexy for any species.
:oP
Jim Morrison.
Roger Daltry.
Prince.
Eddie Vedder.
Curt Cobain.
Saw them all up close and live live live. Saw Jim Morrison put a mike in his crotch in Seattle in the early '70's. Prince sweat on me over two shows at the Tacoma dome during the Purple Rain tour. (God blessed me with press-passes.) Saw Nirvana twice, and while I wouldn't have fucked Curt, I surely would have feed him pasta while I gazed into his blue blue eyes and swooned......while he strummed anything. BRILLIANT composer and performer!
Saw Hendrix live at twelve, and never had any sexual thoughts about him but loved the ba-hoobie out of John Lennon. I wore a black arm-band in Seattle when he was killed. Can you even imagine how rich our lives would be if he was still with us?
What can I say? Always been a rock-star whore-fucker in my dreams. (But ONLY the talented ones kids.....)
Quick responses:
John: Ozzie? Ha.
Whoever suggested Nick Cave, we're researching that this morning.
Barb Anne, Jared Leto is there! Sorry, I'm a Jersey girl meaning classic rock is coursing through my veins...I can't help myself! So toss out some suggestions. I checked out the guy from Green Day...no. I like the one guy from Fall Out Boy but I was almost fired for that one. Most of the guys today seem too grungy and afraid to be sexy. They've lost their strut.
Silkstone, yes Roth is actually not the world's most attractive man. But as far as a sexy showman, he could almost be number one. He was all about the strut. Come on, check this out:
http://www.amoeba.com/dynamic-images/blog/Kelly/Diamond-Dave-Jumps.jpg
Doug, I don't personally find Brit or Madonna all that sexy but according to this criteria, yes. And for both, I'm talking early years. They put it out there, in a big, showy way. For me personally, Stevie hands down. I still find her stunning. Chrissie kinda intimidates me! Ha...I mean, if we're talking long-term relationships, I most definitely would pass on Madonna. She'd eat me for lunch. But you're right - both Brit and Madonna are pop so off the list anyway.
And Lonnie, yes you do. You do indeed. I have the photo to prove it.
Sally, I realize my list is lacking in color but so is rock and roll. Seal was a tough call. He is sexy and classy plus I love non-traditionally sexy guys. (Again - I had Townshend near the top but I was outvoted.) Jimi, no. I would have liked to look at photos of Cypress Hill, who are rap but some rock. Living Color? Hmmm. Thin Lizzy guy? Love the band but sexy?
Okay back to the lab.
But I like do Chris Izaak, right now. Just because he is a throwback and reminds me of my youth.
Seriously, cookie, why not Ed?
Awesome pick.
Jimi Hendrix was awesome too, but too identified to an era in his stage presence. I'm sure hippies thought him sexy though.
David Lee Roth was kind of a clown. Also his vocals are wierd and embarrasing. Also, those jumps and splits? Too 80's.
I guess a lot of these picks are time specific though. Goes with trying to be cool at a specific time instead of for all time.
And surely, Bruce Springsteen's considerable charms don't really need tight pants. He is, by far, the sexiest man in rock. Any man who waxes rhapsodic on the delights of cunnilingus (see: "Red Headed Woman") and slyly refers to a woman's "pink cadillac" is A-OK in my book. Even at 60. Him, I mean.
Not sure you can say Cobain's too damaged, if you're going to put Morrison #1. But I get that he's a different kind of damaged. Speaking of. I just can't get interested in Reznor after Courtney called him 2 inch nail. That just stuck for some reason.
I think you've done a great job of defending yourself against the also rans.
From the young uns I would have put one of those kids from The Strokes. I don't care which one really, I like them all.
Plus I don't know if Ska counts, but I've always had a thing for Roland Gift from Fine Young Cannibals. But I suppose that's kind of fringe in Jersey.
Also, I have to echo a resounding big whopping "yeah" for Lenny Kravitz. He is sexxxxxy. I got to meet him early in his career. Yum.
I like Jay Munly...
Rated.
And Jared Leto? He's not even a real rock star.
I'm not a big fan of Collective Soul's music, but if we're talking sexy,, see Dean Roland for definition of the term (top, left hand pic).
What about Lenny Kravitz? I mean, there's some serious sexy going on with that man.
And if it has to be a list of old, once upon a time sexy rock stars, then we've got to include Jackson Browne back in the day.
However, no sexy rock star list is complete without Caleb.
Nice try, though, Beth.
Juliet: When I say Kurt is damaged, you can see it in any of the photos. Yes, JM is damaged obviously (like dead damaged) but he looked the sexy part. All of my Kurt photos, he looks so pained, not sexy.
Lenny Kravitz will revisit.
NeilPaul, I totally agree. I'm not some huge Roth fan. But he exemplifies men who had the "peacock" thing going on. Flaunted it, you know. Wasn't afraid.
As for the era, Lea and others, I realized after some mulling that I think men of several decades ago were less afraid to be sexy. Many men in rock bands today are too busy being self-serious (hello, Mr. Vedder.)
And speaking of Vedder, beautiful man. But the guy doesn't have that strutting, fun, sexy vibe of Jagger for instance.
Gosh, Kravitz will be tough. He DOES fit the criteria but I so dislike his music other than one tune. BUT THIS IS SCIENTIFIC. I may have to look beyond my tastes.
Oh and the research team will look into Mr. Bolan of T Rex...not sure what he looks like.
I may be forced to add some photos. Scientifically.
One final word on Prince. Not a fan. But he plays with his sex appeal. Always has. And that's what we're looking for. Guys not afraid of their own sex appeal.
Right on with Michael Hutchence and Robert Plant, though.
You clearly are gay man trapped in a woman's body...just sayin'.
While reading "The man oozes sexiness, from his leather pants to his pouty lips" I encountered un accident très petit! One of my precious Limoges teacups tipped off the edge of a tottering breakfast table and crashed in little broken pieces on the pavers underfoot - leaving me in a rigorous apoplexy indeed!
Glambert #2505
Rated for effort and for the accompanying music.
Rated for effort and for the accompanying music.
I agree above all with Morrison, but c'mon, Billy Squier?
How bout Will I. Am? How bout the heir apparent to Marvin Gaye, John Legend?
And most importantly, ADAM LAMBERT!!!! Are you people nuts or do just not realize the awesomeness of the head bitch in charge?
Get it together people- y'all are younger than me and stuck in reverse. No excuse for that.
You just have to get some younger guys in here. I'm 48 so I totally get the older guys--yummm to Mick! But really.... I am not sure you did adequate reserach on Billie Joe. Generations of women are melting over him..... He's quite tidy in person and a confirmed bi-sexual. Also Mike Dirnt, who is also in Green Day.
Pete Doherty? He's a mess, but a hot mess, much along the lines of Jim Morrison.
But seriously, David Lee Roth? I can't see him as sexy, but rather pretending to be sexy. How many women really like assless pants?
I guess if your list is Scientific then mine is too subjective! I'll post it for consideration!
You just have to get some younger guys in here. I'm 48 so I totally get the older guys--yummm to Mick! But really.... I am not sure you did adequate reserach on Billie Joe. Generations of women are melting over him..... He's quite tidy in person and a confirmed bi-sexual. Also Mike Dirnt, who is also in Green Day.
Pete Doherty? He's a mess, but a hot mess, much along the lines of Jim Morrison.
But seriously, David Lee Roth? I can't see him as sexy, but rather pretending to be sexy. How many women really like assless pants?
I guess if your list is Scientific then mine is too subjective! I'll post it for consideration!
You just have to get some younger guys in here. I'm 48 so I totally get the older guys--yummm to Mick! But really.... I am not sure you did adequate reserach on Billie Joe. Generations of women are melting over him..... He's quite tidy in person and a confirmed bi-sexual. Also Mike Dirnt, who is also in Green Day.
Pete Doherty? He's a mess, but a hot mess, much along the lines of Jim Morrison.
But seriously, David Lee Roth? I can't see him as sexy, but rather pretending to be sexy. How many women really like assless pants?
I guess if your list is Scientific then mine is too subjective! I'll post it for consideration!
Not to me, but........
1. Bob Schneider: http://www.bobschneidermusic.com/
Bob's been around a while, but I know from personal experience that he is a fantastic performer and exudes smoky sexuality, even at the aftershow meetngreet....
2. Aaron Behrens of "Ghostland Observatory" who has been described as a "braided sex machine" and, I can attest, is an unbelievable dancer. Link to recent concert in Seattle: http://blog.kexp.org/blog/2009/11/09/ghostland-observatory-photos-from-kexp-vip-club-concert-triple-door/
Always in support of the Scientific method and yours truly,
Stephen Tyler is indeed not sexy, but Joe Perry is hot. I just heard Leonard Cohen sing "Suzanne" on the radio the other day. He may not have been a rocker, but I bet he rocked some worlds back in the day.
And in the same vein as Chuck Bass/Ed Westwick fake rockstar, EWAN MCGREGOR as the Iggy character in Velvet Goldmine.
Also, anyone who doesn't think Prince is sexy, didn't see the Purple Rain tour. Everyone, I mean everyone, in the Forum was ON THEIR FEET (grinding!) dancing the entire concert. It was mass sexual hysteria. "Come on, let's go!"
Pete Townsend...dreamy! And I could add Mark Knopfler and Neil Young to the list too. In concert they are sooo romantic and that's sexy to me.
But yeah. Jim Morrison and Elvis are at the very top of my list. Both beautiful and dripping sex.
My husband would pick Stevie Nicks and Blondie as his picks for female sexiness.
That said, not sure if I agree that Jared Leto oozes sexiness. He's got a sexy bod, but he as a persona ooze sexienss? But then I'm not familiar with him or his work. Same for Trent Reznor since he embodies awkward, geeky white boy with teen angst for me (Sorry Mariqueen Maandig). I may not be into Freddie Mercury, Mick Jagger (much too familiar with the older Mick, not the hot young one), and some others, but I can agree these others did ooze sexiness. Even David Lee Roth with his tacky, campy version of sexiness.
Now, Jim Morrison, early Sting, Michael Hutchence (there's a reason why he was a contender for depicting Jim Morrison - they both slither), and Rober Plant (who even in his late 50s did it for me)... They OOOOOOOOOZE sexiness. With the exception of Sting (whose sexiness has so much to do with a raw energy daring to break through a restraint that barely holds it in check, whose sexiness invites, "come hither"), these men moved with their hip first.
Chris Cornell, though not a strutter, is that sexy in that guy's guy kind of way. You know, usually the core of a very tight group of guys who like to dirty their hands fixing up their motorcycles.
On the time issue, yes, I'm stuck in a Classic Rock time warp a bit. Sure. I live in New Jersey. Its in my bloodstream. I can't help myself. It just is.
Though I firmly believe many of the new bands today lack that sense of raw sex appeal. They're too busy being "stars" you know? I looked through a lot of photos and videos.
Besides Trent Reznor is hotte and he's still around.
Same with Leto (and you know what, he's not a fake rock star. I know what you mean, but the kid has an incredible voice. He just seems like a spoiled brat, I know...that's why I want to SPANK him! Bad boy. Bad, spoiled, little rock star Hollywood...)
And Sting is still kickin' it. Looking good. Not like the stripping college teacher days but...still a hottie. Naturally good looks.
I will research ALL the people mentioned and amend accordingly.
Let me go clean up the dying microbes.
Oh dear, there are several people here I've never heard of, but then I'm not really into RAWK. And of my countrymen, sorry no, no, no from the UK panel to Freddie and String. Perhap not rockin' enough, but how about Seal?
rated
Princess, funny story with Freddie. Growing up, I felt like a weird-looking teen - highly imperfect, not like all the pretty girls. I started listening to Queen and watching Freddie Mercury (saw him live once, which I'll never forget.) Ever since then, I realize sexiness was something you could emanate - because he's hardly traditionally good-looking. His "stuff" came from within. I remember that to this day. He's my idol. Though of course, this is a scientific list and based on much more, um, scientific things. Formulas, etc.
Jim Morrison at number one is a no-brainer.
I thought Elvis would be higher one the list.
There is no such thing as too damaged to be sexy.
and yes, fulmer, stupid comment. I'd be with freddie mercury...if he'd be with me!
I understand what you're saying.
I don't know if I can speak for my whole team, but for myself, the pain and trouble you speak of was like raw meat in the lion cage.
Wow, I'm really not as terrible a person as that made me sound.
My wife says: "Chris Cornell.....mmmmmmmmm...drool..."
But I wonder: Where's Captain Beefheart?
:-)
Interesting as well that men who, if they weren't rockstars or were lacking the particular talent they have, would most likely be considered relatively unattractive can be so unbelievably sexy. Rarely works with women.
courtholdscourt, hold on. Wait a second. These men and their sexiness is pretty intrinsically tied-in. Jim M. and Sting, for instance, are just good-looking guys. So what if they're performance adds to their sexiness? That's a great extra.
You say that the same doesn't hold true for women and I say nay to that. My point with this whole piece is, "It's in the way that you use it." I know several drop-dead gorgeous women who do not radiate that certain something because they don't believe they possess it. Conversely, I know some semi-attractive women that can light a room on fire, because they radiate.
Men, women, it IS in the way you use it.
Love the mix of musical generations!
Love LOVE LOVE Nick Cave. He's not traditional "hot", but damn he is sexy.
I'd add:
Greg Dulli
and of course, that leads to the dreamy Mark Lanegan
Jonathan Davis
Mike Patton
Josh Homme
Beth... gotta go with Rod Stewart. He's holding a frigging cat, for crissake. Kitties win me big time.
For the non-cat crowd, I rely on calendar creds only, and Elvis wins, hands down. (Hands down his pants?!) Whatever. He DID start all this. ( I forgot to mention how much I like your post/posts. Good work.)
You will just have to take my word for it. But I and my six or seven bandmates were, in fact, the sexiest stars of rock and roll. Now if I could just remember their names...