WITH NEW ADDITIONS!
Our next installation of Silly Lists of Nothingness includes perplexing phrases that never really made sense. Sure, they probably stem from the Middle Ages or whatever - but the point is, we're still baffled.
And no, we don't want any explanations, thank you. We prefer to remain in the dark (an expression we do understand.)
Eat your heart out.
(A little over the top in the gore department, wouldn't you say?)
You can call me anything but don't call me late for dinner.
(I've been mulling over this one for decades - still drawing a blank.)
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
(But it's not a dish. It's revenge. It's not meatloaf.)
Shiver me timbers.
(Confounding on several levels.)
Let's bury the hatchet.
(Where? And why has an argument gotten so bad that hatchets are involved?)
That sets my teeth on edge.
(Humanly impossible. And just strange.)
Losing my religion.
(The only decent REM song, at least.)
A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
(What? What bird? What hand? What bush? Why?)
He bought the farm and other expressions about dying.
(These include "Kicking the bucket" and "Biting the dust.")
Go fly a kite.
(I guess this is a very lite version of "Go f&%k yourself.")
Tripping the light fantastic.
(One of my favorite expressions! It sounds magical. But I have no clue what it means.)
I'll show you what for.
(Please do.)
By the skin of my teeth.
(Perplexing...and a little gross.)
Living high on the hog.
(Sure, I've experimented with my share of drugs but...)
Snug as a bug in a rug.
(Ew.)
Keep your nose clean.
(I can see this expression working with dogs, perhaps. Or coke addicts.)
I have a bone to pick with you.
(What are we, birds of prey?)
Happy as a clam.
(Though actually, I'm not one to debate the contentment level of a mollusk so who knows? Do they not laugh in their own special way? Do they not feel pain?)
Warms the cockles of my heart.
(There's the aorta, ventricles, an atrium or two...no cockles. No warmed cockles.)
You can't have your cake and eat it too.
(Why not? Stop with the head games, already! It's cake.)
I'll be a monkey's uncle.
(No you won't.)
Ollie, ollie oxen free.
(I don't even know what to say about this one - but I'm glad the oxen are free, at least.)
Please feel free to send us your strangest expressions.
Thanks to Laura and Ruby and Gracielou and Dennis and Fishing Fool and Lonnie Lazar and Little Willie and Pierre Raul and other OS members for their contributions.
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Norma Tennis
Christina Oliver
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Comments
Damn it! I want to get even.........now you mutha!@#$#%kers!!!!
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. : )
This is funny stuff. Terrific post.
The expression that I hate is: “That warm the cockles of my heart.”
I don’t know what it means and I never want to know what it means but it really bugs me that somewhere in my heart there are things called cockles that get warm.
Rated and appreciated.
I know there's a bunch of other strange expressions, but these are all I could come up with.
Sounds like Australia definitely has its own special weird phrases. "It's much of a muchness"? What?
And yes, Gary. The whole point of revenge is its nowness. If it's later, then is it really revenge? But also, why is it equated to a dish? Why not equate it to clocks or time or something?
See how much it bugs me?!!
"Oh, my stars and garters!" (I like both but what does one have to do with the other?)
"Panties in a bunch" (American version.) "Knickers in a twist." (Brit.) (Such a pretty picture.)
This post is sweet like tea (that I get).
If you had ever seen my grandmother doing the wash you would understand.
Oh you guys came up with some good ones. I knew you would. I'll revise tomorrow. Did I tell you I have the Swine Flu? Well, I don't know if I do, but it sounds more dramatic...and I feel like hell.
Gracielou: "Snug as a bug in a rug." - Truly gross.
I've never heard "tit in a wringer" though there was this occasion that I actually...oh never mind. Another post.
Marco Polo - so true. Did the guy ever knew he'd end up being a pool game? Do you think he rolls over in his grave repeatedly, saying "This? This is how they know me?" Frankly, I don't know who he is either. An explorer of some sort. (He's rolling again.)
Dennis, your comment is a stand-up routine, in and of itself. Second thing to make me laugh today. Anatomically, I'm not sure where your cockles are but I would guess not in the heart. Though I do hope they get warmed soon.
And Eva, that panties expression always made slightly uncomfortable.
"Shiver me timbers" makes me laugh because absolutely no picture comes to mind. I don't even know what to envision.
but "Losing my religion.
(The only decent REM song, at least.)" What about "Crush, with eyeliner"?
Skin of teeth? Yeah I know.
hehehe.
Rated.
Slower than molasses on a cold day. (well, that makes sense)
You are purty as a pup! (I mean, pups are cute, but....um....)
Great post! xox
I love stuff like this, Beth.
R
"It's so bad, it's good"
Now what the hell does that mean? I don't know, but I do know that "Manos: Hands of Fate" is so bad it's good.
And then there's "easy peasy" --I haven't quite unpacked the hidden meaning to that little gem yet. Perhaps Foucault has something to say about it...
http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/index.html
There are thousands more like it. Rated.
What asshole hacked that one up?
(ok, I made that up, but I do use it)
More fun than shooting a barrel of monkies
(a juxtaposition but a fun one)
An enjoyable post, thank you!
Thank you, Beth for the opportunity to express random silliness.
Then again, there's always the controversy re:" Toe the Line," as in 19th. century bare-knuckle boxers stepping up to a pre-drawn chalk-line, prior to throwing the first punch, VS. "Tow the line," as in southern slaves pulling barges to shore by means of teams, tugging and straining with enormous hemp-ropes. It's anyone's guess.
I thought it was colder then a nun's cunt ,and hotter then a witch's tit.
Going whole hog.
Jump-n jimney.
Can't teach an old dog new tricks.
Take your head out of your butt.
ummmmm-baaay - remember that? It's what kids chant in the field, to distract the batter. It is short for "Come on Babe" (when Babe Ruth came to bat people would call "come on, Babe" in hopes of seeing a homer.
It's interesting the various phrases you've mentioned that I've never heard of. It stands to reason. Different regions, ages, etc. Even expressions used only in your family.
I shall include some in the list today. Thank you and good night, nurse! (Like that one - never heard of that one.)
Manos: Hand of Fate.....what??
Beth, Just Google it. trust me. Bad never got so funny or genius. Rent it and throw a Manos party. And make sure you have plenty of booze. Torgo is one of the greatest characters in cinema, or something.
First bell--got to go.
MJwhycha, gotcha. I will definitely watch it. I wonder if they "reviewed" that movie on Mystery Science Theater. I do love that show.
Great suggestions, all. Your comments are the funnier read!
"Driver Eight"
"Nightswimming."
"Disturbance at the Heron House."
Sheesh.
Problem I've had with REM is this: they sound so droll. They fall in that too self-serious category. Even their attempts at upbeat tunes sounds so academic and purposeful.
But I don't hate on them. They just don't elicit much of a reaction from me, one way or the other. And that's the problem I have with them.
Now I need a pithy comeback on the list under "Losing my Religion" and I'll retract my REM comment and replace.
You’ve given OS’ers even more opportunities to express a lot of buried rage. This is good. I think.
Seriously this is fun. A great idea. And I hope you feel better soon.
@MJ, I’m pretty sure that easy-peasy” is the opposite of that piss-poor that surly has objections to.
How about: “The cat’s pajamas”.?
This one troubled me. For years. Maybe it was cute for some folks to picture a cat in PJ’s comfortably sipping cocoa by the fire. But we owned cats. Try dressing a cat in anything and enjoy your ride to the trauma room.
“The Cat’s pajamas” refers to E.B. Katz, who was an English tailor in the late 1700’s and early 1800’s. Mr. Katz made silk pajamas for royalty and rich folks. His PJ’s were the best in England. Hence, the best is now referred to as “The Katz pajamas.”
I just scared myself a little bit knowing that.
If not done correctly you a can dismast a large boat and cause the mast (or timber) to ride up and vibrate (shiver). Asking any sailor about jibing and they don't do it very often. And that's no jive.
And I know what several of those expressions mean, or at least their origins but I won't spoil the fun.
Oh yes, "drinking the kool-aid" Cindy, meaning one is just a little too gullible for one's own good.
Dennis, you're killing me. You are very right. Dressing kitties is not a pretty picture. Ha...
Dustbowl, I realized many weird expressions involve monkeys.
I surf like a big girl's blouse? So you're saying I'm a surfer? Sweet.
I come from a salty people.
Where did the cows go?
"Break a leg" always hurts too.
If I hear "Thinking out of the box" one more time there may be a bloody nose in someone's future.
Love the post!
(No you won't.)"
Well there ya go.
(I LOVE simple truths.)
Rated
'You're on my last nerve.'
'I'll beat some sense into you' vs 'Fuck someone senseless'
'Red up this room!'
'You don't know a shittin' thing'
'I wouldn't fuck her with your dick and him pushing'
'Standing around with my thumb up my ass'
'If that's not true, I'll cut off my pussy and feed it to the dog.'
Crude expressions are the best.
I used to wonder about "catch a tiger by the toe" and what tiger toes looked like, but my mother said the rhyme of her childhood was something we wouldn't say today (without be accused, quite justly of racism). For her it was a rhyme as meaningless as Tiger by the toe.
(This BTW was her comment of childish obliviousness to aspects of life that we now find intolerable, not because she defends what she (and every other kid she knew) said. She has never made a racist remark or discriminated, to my knowledge. But for the few years she lived in the south as a child, she did not question the status quo.)
Mamoore, I don't like that freckle one. It sounds creepy. I picture a mini man in a mini car driving up my face and it freaks me out.
I do love the one about betting dollars to donuts. I like donuts.
To the rest, brilliant as usual. The comment thread has become the real read here, I think. It's too funny.
Flu is taking me down again but will post another one or two before raging fever makes me Queen of the Universe again.
Tickling the ivories.
The bees knees.
The cat's pajamas.
23 skiddoo!
And what about:
Don't let the bedbugs bite. Ewww.
Wipe that expression off your face. Um, how???
You guys are cracking me up!
In a pig's eye. (Seriously. WTF is in a pig's eye?)
Easy as pie. (I don't bake so this makes no sense to me. I don't do math either, so if it's Easy as pi, I still screwed.)
You're so screwed. (Hey, for me that's a good thing, but not in this WTF vernacular.)
Here's a site for everybody who works online and needs just the right killer phrase: Web Economy Bullshit Generator.
Speaking of which, Killer App?
Why in the hell would I even accept cake when I'm prohibited from eating it? Now that I think about it, I don't even like cake that much (probably because I'm frequently being told I can't eat it). Pie is tastier. And you never have to suffer through some self righteous prick pedantically informing you that you can't have your pie and eat it.
"Let them eat cake."
Just shut the f**k up about cake already!
"You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink."
He's probably not thirsty due to all the cake he wasn't allowed to eat.
"How do you like them apples?"
Huh?
Devilgrll, good one, good one.
Sally, your grandmother's phrases are true bizarro classics.
Thanks, all. Trying to keep up but still in flu recovery mode.
Huh? I understand the curse "go piss in the wind" because the consequences are readily apparent. But pissing up a rope?
When, in fact, he was referring to another bodily fluid that could more easily fill a bucket.
How about the phrase, "Cut the mustard"? Say what?
I always enjoy discussions of translations of these things to native speakers of other languages and vice versa. Mostly the latter. As Lisa said above.
I remember once trying to explain a New Yorker Cartoon to a student from Japan. The picture was of a couple of mice with baseball equipment -- and the caption was -- "While the cat's away..."
This took a rather long time.
Cockle is the common name for a group of (mostly) small, edible, saltwater clams, marine bivalve molluscs in the family Cardiidae.
Various species of cockles live in sandy sheltered beaches throughout the world. The distinctive rounded shells of cockles are symmetrical, and are heart-shaped when viewed from the end: hence, cockles of the heart.
Always happy to help.
Raining cats and dogs
That tapping your nose gesture meaning something is secret
Living the life of Riley (depending on who Riley was)
One I really like though it's a bit obscure in an urban context is "rode hard and put up wet." It refers to horses but you can see how it could refer to *that*.
WTF are big girl pants?? Because, let me assure you, I can't squeeze my ass into little girl pants... while I get what it means, I don't get where the stupid saying came from.
great post... (so what's new?) -- rated!
The Romans played a game like tennis or badmiten and it was played with a ball, a sphere, so the room that it was played in was called the Spherestorium. So you want to have a dance one night and everyone is coming. So what room do you have big enough to hold the dance in? The spherestorium, the ballroom. So the next time you see a woman dressed in a ball gown remember, you can't play tennis in a dress like that!
So if a pilot died fighting the Germans, he bought the farm.
And I wrote Army because the pilots were part of the Army. That was before The Air Force was formed.