My husband is Australian so we have a lot of classic Aussie slang happening in our house. Two of my favorites,"He's driving right up my freckle." and "It's much of a muchness."

If you think these are bad, you should hear some Aussie expressions. In fact, I think you've just inspired me to do a post.

Bless your heart, Beth.

I always got pissed off about people quoting the "Revenge Dish" thing........
Damn it! I want to get even.........now you mutha!@#$#%kers!!!!

Where's there a will, there's a way.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. : )

My dad was partial to "Go jump in the lake!"

And why do they keep talking about Marco Polo all summer at pools across the country? What's that all about?

The one that gets my goat (?) is, "I love me some _____." I could cheerfully throttle the person responsible for that one.

Beth,
This is funny stuff. Terrific post.

The expression that I hate is: “That warm the cockles of my heart.”

I don’t know what it means and I never want to know what it means but it really bugs me that somewhere in my heart there are things called cockles that get warm.

Rated and appreciated.

You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think.

Hey all!

I know there's a bunch of other strange expressions, but these are all I could come up with.

Sounds like Australia definitely has its own special weird phrases. "It's much of a muchness"? What?

And yes, Gary. The whole point of revenge is its nowness. If it's later, then is it really revenge? But also, why is it equated to a dish? Why not equate it to clocks or time or something?

warms
See how much it bugs me?!!

"Shiver me timbers" is just plain dirty (in my pirate mind).

Here are some expressions that I like:

"Oh, my stars and garters!" (I like both but what does one have to do with the other?)

"Panties in a bunch" (American version.) "Knickers in a twist." (Brit.) (Such a pretty picture.)

Like a bug in a rug. (just gross) Lie like a dog. (don't dogs lay?)

This post is sweet like tea (that I get).

Wait a minute, wait a minute. "Losing My Religion" the only decent REM song? What? What madness is this? I can feel my panties bunching already.

@Frank - Don't get your knickers in a twist!

Huh. This REM dissing is getting on my last nerve.

Somebody please explain "Don't get your tit in a wringer." How does one do such a thing?

C.K.
If you had ever seen my grandmother doing the wash you would understand.

"keep your nose clean" my parent's favorite and I always thought was just plain gross plus didn't make sense.

Yes, I must confess...I've disliked REM for quite some time. I just keep in on the down low (WTF?) because of possible OS repercussions. Sorry, Frank. And unfort, I like their most popular song. How cliche of me, I know.

Oh you guys came up with some good ones. I knew you would. I'll revise tomorrow. Did I tell you I have the Swine Flu? Well, I don't know if I do, but it sounds more dramatic...and I feel like hell.

Gracielou: "Snug as a bug in a rug." - Truly gross.

I've never heard "tit in a wringer" though there was this occasion that I actually...oh never mind. Another post.

Marco Polo - so true. Did the guy ever knew he'd end up being a pool game? Do you think he rolls over in his grave repeatedly, saying "This? This is how they know me?" Frankly, I don't know who he is either. An explorer of some sort. (He's rolling again.)

Dennis, your comment is a stand-up routine, in and of itself. Second thing to make me laugh today. Anatomically, I'm not sure where your cockles are but I would guess not in the heart. Though I do hope they get warmed soon.

And Eva, that panties expression always made slightly uncomfortable.

"Shiver me timbers" makes me laugh because absolutely no picture comes to mind. I don't even know what to envision.

Tonight it is colder than a well diggers ankle. He is as usless as teats on a boar. Nervous as a 3 peckered owl. And now I'm going out to the garden to eat worms.

This makes a person go hmmmmmmmmm.........

but "Losing my religion.
(The only decent REM song, at least.)" What about "Crush, with eyeliner"?

Skin of teeth? Yeah I know.

Beth, sorry to say this honeymoon is over. YOu hate REM? I'm moving in with Frank. He and I can share i tunes. ;)

P.S. As a child, I once got my finger caught in the wringer. I think it very good advice to not get your teats near one, let alone caught.

I always thought the "a bird in hand is worth two in the bush" thing was something sexual . . . .or maybe its just me?

hehehe.

Rated.

Good night, nurse!
Slower than molasses on a cold day. (well, that makes sense)
You are purty as a pup! (I mean, pups are cute, but....um....)

Great post! xox

"Colder than a witche's teat." Why do witches have teats instead of tits, and if they're so cold, why don't they wear a sweater?
I love stuff like this, Beth.
R

Well, here's one I use all the time:
"It's so bad, it's good"
Now what the hell does that mean? I don't know, but I do know that "Manos: Hands of Fate" is so bad it's good.

And then there's "easy peasy" --I haven't quite unpacked the hidden meaning to that little gem yet. Perhaps Foucault has something to say about it...

The researching of common phrases, expressions and idioms comprises a study all its own with enough accumulated information to fill several libraries. For the origins of more than 1,500 common phrases and expressions, including, 'A bird in the hand is equal to two in the bush,' try this site:

http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/index.html

There are thousands more like it. Rated.

Lady...marry me...xox

"God only helps those who help themselves"

What asshole hacked that one up?

Throwing the monkey into the hatchet.
(ok, I made that up, but I do use it)

More fun than shooting a barrel of monkies
(a juxtaposition but a fun one)

An enjoyable post, thank you!

Well, if that don't just make the Jack beat the Queen, I'll be a monkey's Uncle.

I've always found "piss poor" questionable.

Cindy Ross's comment gets my vote! BwaaHaaHaa!

Thank you, Beth for the opportunity to express random silliness.

Then again, there's always the controversy re:" Toe the Line," as in 19th. century bare-knuckle boxers stepping up to a pre-drawn chalk-line, prior to throwing the first punch, VS. "Tow the line," as in southern slaves pulling barges to shore by means of teams, tugging and straining with enormous hemp-ropes. It's anyone's guess.

I kinda like, A PIG AND A POKE.
I thought it was colder then a nun's cunt ,and hotter then a witch's tit.
Going whole hog.
Jump-n jimney.
Can't teach an old dog new tricks.
Take your head out of your butt.

Actually, I think most of those make their own kind of sense. But sayings are interesting. I once spent the evening with a friend who spoke both French and English translating, literally, such sayings into each other's languages. It was hysterical. One of my favorites has always been "pot calling the kettle black," but I really like the ones with regional flavor. In Tennessee where I grew up there was a saying that said "As soon as I get my feet set" which basically meant, I'll come when I'm ready.

olly olly oxen free = everybody out gets in free! (that's when people who are still 'out' i.e. haven't been found during a game of Ghost In The Graveyard get to come back to home base, an uncaught hero.

ummmmm-baaay - remember that? It's what kids chant in the field, to distract the batter. It is short for "Come on Babe" (when Babe Ruth came to bat people would call "come on, Babe" in hopes of seeing a homer.

I’d like to share a very interesting place with you ____TALLCONNECT. COM___ . It brings you gorgeous girls and big tall men together. After checking it,I saw a lot of celebrities there,including many Hollywood stars. It’s a great website to date a beautiful woman or handsome guy there.

"Oh my stars and garters!" Evan, I think I'll adopt that one. That's kind of cute and weird.

It's interesting the various phrases you've mentioned that I've never heard of. It stands to reason. Different regions, ages, etc. Even expressions used only in your family.

I shall include some in the list today. Thank you and good night, nurse! (Like that one - never heard of that one.)

Manos: Hand of Fate.....what??

"Manos: Hands of Fate...what?"
Beth, Just Google it. trust me. Bad never got so funny or genius. Rent it and throw a Manos party. And make sure you have plenty of booze. Torgo is one of the greatest characters in cinema, or something.

First bell--got to go.

An expression of surprise: "Well, shoooot a monkey!" This may be a rural Okie phrase - I've never heard it anywhere else. Quite enjoying this post and the comments!

Okay, added several others. Hope I got the credits right. I'm not feeling so hot.

MJwhycha, gotcha. I will definitely watch it. I wonder if they "reviewed" that movie on Mystery Science Theater. I do love that show.

Great suggestions, all. Your comments are the funnier read!

Al Gore created "Eat your heart out" as well as the internet?

"Radio Free Europe."
"Driver Eight"
"Nightswimming."
"Disturbance at the Heron House."
Sheesh.

Okay, Frank. You win. Those tunes are kinda decent.

Problem I've had with REM is this: they sound so droll. They fall in that too self-serious category. Even their attempts at upbeat tunes sounds so academic and purposeful.

But I don't hate on them. They just don't elicit much of a reaction from me, one way or the other. And that's the problem I have with them.

Now I need a pithy comeback on the list under "Losing my Religion" and I'll retract my REM comment and replace.

Beth,
You’ve given OS’ers even more opportunities to express a lot of buried rage. This is good. I think.

Seriously this is fun. A great idea. And I hope you feel better soon.

@MJ, I’m pretty sure that easy-peasy” is the opposite of that piss-poor that surly has objections to.

How about: “The cat’s pajamas”.?

This one troubled me. For years. Maybe it was cute for some folks to picture a cat in PJ’s comfortably sipping cocoa by the fire. But we owned cats. Try dressing a cat in anything and enjoy your ride to the trauma room.

“The Cat’s pajamas” refers to E.B. Katz, who was an English tailor in the late 1700’s and early 1800’s. Mr. Katz made silk pajamas for royalty and rich folks.  His PJ’s were the best in England. Hence, the best is now referred to as “The Katz pajamas.”

I just scared myself a little bit knowing that.

I like "drinking the kool-aid."

Couldn't suppress my evil side.

If you've ever gone sailing and jibe ( which is changing direction as you sail before the wind), you know that this is a tricky maneuver.

If not done correctly you a can dismast a large boat and cause the mast (or timber) to ride up and vibrate (shiver). Asking any sailor about jibing and they don't do it very often. And that's no jive.

This is something I both love and hate about the English language. It's so colorful but so difficult to explain to people who speak English as a second/foreign language.

In Scotland they say many weird things. One of my favorites is "big girl's blouse: as in - "I'll see you crying like a big girls blouse." "The Rangers played like a big girls blouse." I cannot fathom where it comes from or why I find it so hilarious - the accents help.

Really? Losing My Religion? Every time I hear that song I can't help but sing "I tink I tawt I taw a puddy tat, puddy tat."

And I know what several of those expressions mean, or at least their origins but I won't spoil the fun.

Oh Cindy, you're baaad. You're so baaad you're good.

aim, I think I like that one. I'm going to say it out in the line-up, once I'm better. "Hey Frank, you surf like a big girl's blouse!" Like that, right? Ha...It's just weird enough to work.

Oh yes, "drinking the kool-aid" Cindy, meaning one is just a little too gullible for one's own good.

Dennis, you're killing me. You are very right. Dressing kitties is not a pretty picture. Ha...

Dustbowl, I realized many weird expressions involve monkeys.

"Tripping the light fantastic" is apparently rooted in phrases from Milton and Shakespeare. I like Ben Folds' update: slamming the pit fantastic.

I surf like a big girl's blouse? So you're saying I'm a surfer? Sweet.

I always heard "colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra," so apparently even though she didn't have a sweater, she had lingerie (albeit uncomfortable). I never heard "colder than a well digger's ankle." In our house, it was "colder than a well digger's ass."

I come from a salty people.

How about 'until the cows come home'?

Where did the cows go?

devilgrrl, I bet the cows are with the oxen--roaming free.

Hey, I finally thought of one, "A tall drink of water". How exactly does that relate to someones height?

"I got it, or I get it." Usually people who say this don't at all.

"Break a leg" always hurts too.

If I hear "Thinking out of the box" one more time there may be a bloody nose in someone's future.

Love the post!

"I'll be a monkey's uncle.
(No you won't.)"

Well there ya go.
(I LOVE simple truths.)

How about, "I've got a bone to pick with you." Oh no you don't! You can go bone picking by yourself. Call me if you want to pick some apples.

Rated

'You're/it/that's working my nerves.'
'You're on my last nerve.'
'I'll beat some sense into you' vs 'Fuck someone senseless'
'Red up this room!'
'You don't know a shittin' thing'
'I wouldn't fuck her with your dick and him pushing'
'Standing around with my thumb up my ass'
'If that's not true, I'll cut off my pussy and feed it to the dog.'

Crude expressions are the best.

We always sang, Ollie, Ollie out come free, All ye (can) come out free.
I used to wonder about "catch a tiger by the toe" and what tiger toes looked like, but my mother said the rhyme of her childhood was something we wouldn't say today (without be accused, quite justly of racism). For her it was a rhyme as meaningless as Tiger by the toe.

(This BTW was her comment of childish obliviousness to aspects of life that we now find intolerable, not because she defends what she (and every other kid she knew) said. She has never made a racist remark or discriminated, to my knowledge. But for the few years she lived in the south as a child, she did not question the status quo.)

Being new here, I just want to say that I'm glad I found another victim to follow around.

"I don't give a flying fuck!" is another one... I mean, unless you're in the mile high club or a trapeze artist this seems a challenge.

Cute post Beth, scanning through the comments I had to laugh out loud at Cindy Ross's comment, she is right, evil, but had to laugh...

My least favorite are the wanna-be-comedians whose reply to the word "bastard" is "Bass turd? Have you ever seen a bass turd?" It's just stunning what people come up with.

Mamoore, I don't like that freckle one. It sounds creepy. I picture a mini man in a mini car driving up my face and it freaks me out.

I do love the one about betting dollars to donuts. I like donuts.

Bike Lizard, thank you for taking this to a whole new level. Much appreciated. No pussy has been mentioned...and it needed to be. Hail to thee.

To the rest, brilliant as usual. The comment thread has become the real read here, I think. It's too funny.

Flu is taking me down again but will post another one or two before raging fever makes me Queen of the Universe again.

From my grandmother:
Tickling the ivories.
The bees knees.
The cat's pajamas.
23 skiddoo!

And what about:
Don't let the bedbugs bite. Ewww.

Wipe that expression off your face. Um, how???

How about, "Eat shit, and die!" Uhhh...no thanks?

You guys are cracking me up!

Wish I could rate this twice!

I feel it in my bones. (Okay, works for arthritis sufferers, but what about everyone else?)

In a pig's eye. (Seriously. WTF is in a pig's eye?)

Easy as pie. (I don't bake so this makes no sense to me. I don't do math either, so if it's Easy as pi, I still screwed.)

You're so screwed. (Hey, for me that's a good thing, but not in this WTF vernacular.)

Here's a site for everybody who works online and needs just the right killer phrase: Web Economy Bullshit Generator.

Speaking of which, Killer App?

"You can't have your cake and eat it too."

Why in the hell would I even accept cake when I'm prohibited from eating it? Now that I think about it, I don't even like cake that much (probably because I'm frequently being told I can't eat it). Pie is tastier. And you never have to suffer through some self righteous prick pedantically informing you that you can't have your pie and eat it.

"Let them eat cake."

Just shut the f**k up about cake already!

"You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink."

He's probably not thirsty due to all the cake he wasn't allowed to eat.

Oh! Here's another one...

"How do you like them apples?"

Huh?

Pierre, your comment had me rolling! You're right, pie is far easier. No head games with pie.

Devilgrll, good one, good one.

Sally, your grandmother's phrases are true bizarro classics.

Thanks, all. Trying to keep up but still in flu recovery mode.

My late grandmother used to advise the broken hearted, "just go tell him I said he can go piss up a rope!"

Huh? I understand the curse "go piss in the wind" because the consequences are readily apparent. But pissing up a rope?

I HATE it when I miss one of your posts! But this one just keeps getting better and better . . . between the comments and the re-comments, it's becoming its own snowball.

How about when they are abridged, like -- "John Nance Garner's observation that the office "is not worth a bucket of warm spit.""

When, in fact, he was referring to another bodily fluid that could more easily fill a bucket.

How about the phrase, "Cut the mustard"? Say what?

I always enjoy discussions of translations of these things to native speakers of other languages and vice versa. Mostly the latter. As Lisa said above.

I remember once trying to explain a New Yorker Cartoon to a student from Japan. The picture was of a couple of mice with baseball equipment -- and the caption was -- "While the cat's away..."

This took a rather long time.

Okay. Here's what I learned from Wikipedia:

Cockle is the common name for a group of (mostly) small, edible, saltwater clams, marine bivalve molluscs in the family Cardiidae.
Various species of cockles live in sandy sheltered beaches throughout the world. The distinctive rounded shells of cockles are symmetrical, and are heart-shaped when viewed from the end: hence, cockles of the heart.

Always happy to help.

Lovely list!

Get my goat
Raining cats and dogs
That tapping your nose gesture meaning something is secret
Living the life of Riley (depending on who Riley was)

One I really like though it's a bit obscure in an urban context is "rode hard and put up wet." It refers to horses but you can see how it could refer to *that*.

My sister says "you need to put on your big girl (big boy) pants..."

WTF are big girl pants?? Because, let me assure you, I can't squeeze my ass into little girl pants... while I get what it means, I don't get where the stupid saying came from.

great post... (so what's new?) -- rated!

My favorites are latin words morphed into English. A stadium comes from the Latin word stadia, the distance across the bottom of a roman arch. So think Roman Coliseum with all those arches so stadia becomes stadium.

The Romans played a game like tennis or badmiten and it was played with a ball, a sphere, so the room that it was played in was called the Spherestorium. So you want to have a dance one night and everyone is coming. So what room do you have big enough to hold the dance in? The spherestorium, the ballroom. So the next time you see a woman dressed in a ball gown remember, you can't play tennis in a dress like that!