Years ago, I had the pleasure of watching Kazuo Ohno perform. Kazuo Ohno is one of the founders of Butoh, a distinctive, evocative and often disturbing dance form born out of the horrors of wartime bombing in Japan.

When I saw him perform, he was in his 80's. He was beyond mesmerizing. Tears rolled down all of our faces, watching this precious and agile man move. After shaking his hand at the end of the show (which I'll never forget - that man radiated something so powerful), I thought: I will not burden myself with the limitations of age - not after watching you.

My mother (below) helped out in that realm as well (though trust me, I could write a book on the ways she hindered). When it came to age, my mother could care less. She was from "hearty stock" as they say. I saw her remove an entire tree from our backyard in her 60's. She would swim in the ocean for hours at a time. Life was about being physical and vital.

Yet I battle the constant refrain of so many (some who are turning a mere 30!) complaining about the effects of aging:

"Yeah, you just kind of fall apart when you hit 30, 40, 50."

"Back hurts again. I'm not getting any younger, you know."

"Oh I could do that when I was 20. Not now."

It's the most accepted form of negative talk out there. We're allowed to bitch endlessly about our age. And if you're a woman, you get the added bonus of hearing blow by blow details of physical deterioration, since our worth is tied into our look.

I remember speaking with one woman at a party who told me repeatedly, "Wait until you hit [fill in the blank], it all goes downhill. Trust me. You'll notice one thing after the other. Just wait. You'll be horrified. I was." What damning talk.

It reminded me of a scene from My Dinner with Andre where Wally Shawn's character tells his friend Andre the story of an experience he had right before he was ready to go on stage, donning a theatrical mask. A fellow actor whispered to him, "Good luck with that mask. Last time I wore one, I nearly passed out." Shawn goes on to wonder what people are thinking of, spreading their negativity so mindlessly, carelessly.

But back to the age bitchers, a few points:

Stop blaming your age when its your health. You eat like crap and sit on your ass for decades and you expect your body to repeatedly bounce back? It doesn't.

Get up, do something. There is no excuse to not exercise every day. It's abnormal to be so sedentary. We're built to move. Even if its a 15-minute walk. Or a dance in your bedroom. Stop reading this. Get up, go!


Take supplements. I don't care how many people tell you that your diet should supply all the vitamins and minerals you need. It's not remotely true. We live in a highly toxic world, we eat crappy food and we're stressed. Antioxidants protect from free radical damage, so why wouldn't you take something to protect you?


Get off the dolls. We are a nation of pill poppers, making evil pharmaceutical companies quite wealthy. Don't believe the hype. Just because a doctor prescribed you something doesn't mean you have to take it. Or if you do, research it.  Know it. Own your health.


Tune in. Most people are amazingly disconnected with their bodies. Stop acting like its a vehicle to get you about town. Inhabit it, feel it. Can you touch your toes? You should be able to. How about a spinal twist? (Keeping your spine flexible is key to good health.)

Take some deep breaths and simply be present, in your body. Recognize signs of stress in your body and do counter measures. Most of us just accept stress as a way of life. Some even think its a sign of productivity. It's not; it's deadly.

Below is my movement teacher and mentor, Manfred Fischbeck (and his daughter, Laina). He is a professor at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia. He taught me about inhabiting my body years ago. It's sounds like some esoteric, artsy concept, but its how we were born. We just grow away from it.

You don't have to dance professionally to work with Manfred (though many d0). You simply needed to move and express and free yourself.


































Watch your mouth. If you're  going on and on about aging and how its destroying you, guess what? You're right. Just keep saying  negative stuff until its drilled into  your subconscious and your body will fall apart in agreement. And recognize the effect you have on others when you talk in that manner.

I was a physical wreck in my 20's. I did drugs, weighed next to nothing and the only lifting I did was a cigarette to my lips. Now I feel pretty darn strong. But more importantly, I feel at home in my  body. The sad part? I live in a culture where I'm supposed to believe that this is my time to fall apart!

Getting older, for me, has meant simply upping the level of maintenance. I eat better, take supplements, exercise every day. I watch stress carefully. I also drink copious amounts of wine and eat chocolate. I smoked a cigarette last week because I was in the mood. So I'm hardly a purist. 

But mainly, like my mother, Manfred and Kazuo Ohno, I don't believe the age hype.

Kazuo Ohno lived until he was 103. He was 43 when he started his dance career. This is some of footage of him in his later years when he had difficulty standing.

Me at 43:

Dancer Frances Wessels: