The Good Weather Glee Club
The Good Weather Glee Club: I can't stand this rain. It's supposed to be 85 degrees tomorrow and sunny. Can't wait.
Me: Hmm...it's March. I find those temperatures disconcerting this early.
The Good Weather Glee Club: Really?? I LOVE it.
Me: Do you wanna marry it?
The Good Weather Glee Club: What?
Me: Nothing.
And I walk away, wondering why the world is so damn fanatical about "nice" weather. It's almost cult-like, how people treat a sunny day. Yes, Virginia, there are clouds, rain, snow...sometimes even sleet. Hell, hail! It's neither good or bad; it just is.
Radio Announcer: It's another beauuuuutiful day today out there, folks. Looks like we'll hit 80 degrees, if we're lucky! So you better get outside and enjoy the sunny day because it's sunny and sunny is good and I'm positive because I love the sunny weather. Back to you, Joan. Sunshine!
Dark, rainy days always offered me the luxury of doing nothing guilt-free. It's suddenly alright to roll into fetal and mindlessly zone. Besides, clouds are amazing natural works of art. Strong winds possess a haunting sound that stir the soul. A storm rolling in makes me believe in dark powers. (Yes, dark powers - the scary ones that are mean and wild..and dark.)
The Positivity Police
The Positivity Police: How are you today, Beth?
Me: Pretty irritable today. And rife with existential angst. You?
The Positivity Police: Oh...well, I'm not that. I'm good. I'm better than good. I'm great. I'm delirious from feeling the best I've ever felt.
Me: Well, happy days for you, Mary Poppins!
The Positivity Police: Excuse me?
Me: Nothing.
And why is negativity so frowned upon? I mean, you'd have to be deaf, dumb and blind not to feel negative in this day and age.
A quick recap of our dire condition:
Our environment is pretty much ruined. The corporate interests have taken over and barring a revolution, they'll screw us toward an untimely death. And we're too gluttonous and lazy to do anything about it, except watch it happen from our beige couches.
And come on...what about relationships? Can people get anymore lame? After decades worth of TV and Internet hypnosis, we're emotional vegetables. Go ahead, just try to get your needs met by the zombies banging around out there. Flatliners, the whole lot of us.
But it's more than just the slow, torturous downward spiral of our civilization and the slow deterioration of our ability to relate; it's this positivity contest we seem to be caught up in. As if we're all trying to prove to each other how we'd never be caught dead with any of those nasty, ugly emotions.
The Positivity Police: But don't you understand, Beth? When you feel negatively, you bring more negativity into your life. What you put out into the world comes back to you.
Me: Ah, I see you've read that piece of New Age bullshit called The Secret.
The Positivity Police: Yes and it's sooo true. When I radiate positivity, only positive things happen.
Me: Sounds terribly simplistic. Do you believe in flying purple unicorns too?
The Positivity Police: What?
Me: Nothing.
Ah yes, The Secret. When you're negative, you're a walking misfortune magnet. Cancer? Your fault. Car hit you? You and your bad thoughts! Dog peed on your leg? You asked for it.
Interestingly, that kind of dogma doesn't sound that different than many types of religious rhetoric, where you desperately try to eschew dirty thoughts from your mind in an attempt to be pure. Can't do it? Burn, baby, baby. It's emotional propaganda and just plain annoying.
Quick Quiz:
Do we really want to think nothing but positive thoughts?
Do we have little to no capacity for the dark side of life, and if so, why?
Could we be trying too hard to be positive as a defense for the tremendous amount of fear and pain we carry?
Can we ever feel proud of feeling shitty?
Could we be so chronically depressed as a culture because we're constantly feeling the need to feel upbeat even when we're not?
Can we sit with ours or others' negative feelings without the perpetual need to fix it?
Negative emotions, just like "bad" weather, serve a purpose. Anger can propel you out of a bad situation and into something new and healthier. Jealously can remind you of the deep vulnerability you feel when you love somebody. ("I don't get jealous!" Oh yes, you do. Or you've denied yourself the opportunity to, for fear of weakness. Or you don't really care what your partner does, which is a whole other problem.) Sadness and grief...what feels better than a good cry?
Don't get me wrong: I do believe in the power of positive thinking. I believe that you can (sometimes) make wishes come true by envisioning, requesting, chanting, praying, screaming, drawing a picture of it...all of that mumbo jumbo. But I also allow space for the other side of life, which possesses its own dark, regal strength and beauty.
Weather and emotions don't always need a happy face stamped on it.
Besides, I'm a little creepy and hollow anyway!
The Guest House by Rumi
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
thinkfeel
Andy Wolfenson
Lorijanean
Martell Conley
Bonnie Council
NEMac
Salon.com
Comments
The positivity police is out in force, especially in Sunny L.A. They taze you for not being terse, too. Twitter?
I didn't get you wrong but loved this:
Don't get me wrong: I do believe in the power of positive thinking. I believe that you can (sometimes) make wishes come true by envisioning, requesting, chanting, praying, screaming, drawing a picture of it...all of that mumbo jumbo. But I also allow space for the other side of life, which possesses its own dark, regal strength and beauty.
LOL I was wondering about this. Seems like we should deserve something...then again in 2nd world countries we have had it too good for too long and deserveth not.
But I respect the wisdom of Rumi~
"Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond." ~r
with love,
yer pollyanna friend
Been there. Will be back.
Lovely poem by Rumi and so true.
Yes, indeed. Sunny days make me feel assaulted by the brightness and the heat and my to-do list is nipping at my heels. When the rainclouds roll in, I am jubilant because even I don't expect much from myself.
As for the weather, Lennon said it best.
On the other hand, Mr. Justis is onto something--the power of positive drinking IS underrated.
and I love this blog beth. I'm pretty much a curmudgeon. at least that's how I have to describe myself because otherwise I'd only be a cranky old lady with hair on my chin, so curmudgeon gives me a certain je ne sais quoi.
I completely agree that collectively, we're totally fucked. and now I have natural gas leaking through my lawn so I'm pretty much personally fucked or at least my grass is. but his week I am very aware that my life may blow up around me at any given moment, although the truth is, natural gas be damned, it could happen to anyone at any time. such is life.
still, even curmudgeons should pause for a moment to freshen the lipstick so we can look fetching while we recognize the evil about and shake our fists at the forces upsetting our applecarts, however flimsy. and when we can, we do have to laugh because it's more more fun to laugh and besides, what else is there to do? the absurdity of all this fake positivity is that behind it is a fragile lunatic fear of what is real. some people need more gin.
My writing group here on the island reads the comments you guys leave and always say that it's half the fun for them. Everyone is so clever...a very clever posse that refines my ideas via comments. Very grateful and lucky for this community.
Living in England means the weather is one of our favourite topics. Although I'm sick of constant rain right now, I do like the variety of conditions we generally have.
As a naturally negative person I tire of the philosophies and platitudes from the Pollyannas. Be me and live my life before you pass judgement applies to everyone.
Anyway we need to feel one extreme to appreciate the other. Living happily ever after in constant sunshine is not only unreal, but would surely numb us of genuine human emotions.
Excellent post.
positivity is sort of the same thing for adults. but the problem is that sometimes crying feels good.....ask a baby....