The best review I could give to Lizzy Morrow’s wild and tender ride of a novel, The Girl On The Moon, would be to share excerpts from her tragic and hilarious book.

But I want to entice you without giving too much away - so I will stick to  tossing… Read full post »

Sometimes I think my heart is a Pandora's Box.

No - not my heart. My, uhm (trying to think of a word that isn't crudely clinical or rudely pornographic) - I know! Yoni! That'll work.

My yoni is a Pandora's Box. And I need to keep a tight lid… Read full post »

The older I get, the more compassion I feel for men.

When I was younger - in my twenties - I was the queen of  Victim Feminism. Men were all rapists and vermin and the cause of every evil in the world. I, however, was Good. I was a vegan, for… Read full post »

"No wonder there are so many pedophiles in the world."

This was my friend's response to the  little girl in the booth behind us, who was giggling and bouncing on her seat while I played peek-a-boo with her.

"What?" I asked. I felt as if she'd thrown her ice tea in… Read full post »

I first read Fusun Atalay's memoir, Will Of My Own, about two months ago. It is a book I have continued to revisit, because one reading is not enough. The book is many stories woven into one, because Fusun has lived many lives in one.

Her story takes us on… Read full post »

There just aren't enough Mommy Blogs out there written by slutty, single, low-income moms. So here I am to fill in that gap.

One year to the day from meeting my daughter's dad, we had a three month old baby. How slutty is that?

I've been married twice, but have… Read full post »

I am homeschooling my daughter, and in defiance of all my expectations, I am loving it!

Her two favorite subjects are History and Literature. For our literature class, we started reading "The Witch of Blackbird Pond", but she found it unbearably boring.

"When's something bad gonna happen?" she asked… Read full post »

By Girly-Girls, I mean both males and females who love to wear pink. And...

*who drive brightly colored cars with multi-colored ribbons tied to their antennae.

*who have bumper stickers that say things like "Expect A Miracle" or "Something Wonderful Is About To Happen."

*who squeal at the… Read full post »

And when I say fat people need to eat more, I don't mean they need to eat more  food like leafy green lettuce and raw broccoli. I mean they need to eat more food like ice cream and pizza and french fries - and eat them on a regular basis. 

I… Read full post »

I didn't start blogging on OS because I love to write. I've been writing since I could pick up a pencil, and I can write anywhere, anytime - in privacy and at my convenience. 

I started blogging on OS because I was desperately lonely, and felt like a failure. 

The holidays… Read full post »

Kidding - I don't have a son. 

Got your attention though, didn't I?

I'm glad, because I want to share this poem with you:

My daughter spreads her legs

to find her vagina:

hairless, this mistaken

bit of nomenclature

is what a stranger cannot touch

without her yelling. She demands

to… Read full post »

I swear to god, I'm having sympathy cramps.

My daughter is ten years old, and extremely proud of achieving menstruation.

Three mornings ago, she yelled from the bathroom, "Mom it's blood!" 

My heart stopped.

"It's the good blood!"

No way. I'd told her about the "good blood" that… Read full post »

John Mayer, let me count the ways...

His shallow take on life is no surprise.  Becoming a pop star at a young age has never proven to be much of a character builder.

But about that deceptive little penis of his....

John Mayer claims that his penis is racist.… Read full post »

Their names were Luciana, Mercedes,and Maria; and they cost me my husband.

My ex was a world traveller and a collector of folk art. He loved art, architecture, "ethnic" music - all that hip  stuff. I loved it that he'd travelled the world. I hadn't had the chance to travel too… Read full post »

The loser woman from hell? That would be me. Why? Because I was an Editor's Pick. 

Let me explain: I am not a writer. I am a hobby blogger. You know why? Because I'm not good enough to be a writer. There. I said it. Writers are people who exist on… Read full post »

Well, yes - obviously. Everybody knows that men are natural born creepazoids. The vast majority of rapists, child molesters, serial killers, and plain old ordinary murderers are men. It must be the testosterone. Right?

As a Trauma Queen, I spent years of my life despising men. Men were to blame for… Read full post »

 I finally did it! Last week I threw out all my thong underwear!

I'm forty-seven years old, so it was a bit overdue. You see, like  many Trauma Queens, I  came to believe at an early age that my value as a human being was planted firmly between my legs. I… Read full post »

Yes. I'll admit it. I do drugs. Heavy drugs.

However, I do not take drugs to alter my mind. Actually, if I want to have a mind-altering experience, I have to stop taking drugs.

I am involved in a long-term relationship with big bad Depression, and her sexy little  sister, Mania.… Read full post »

I did it. I cut the cord. I have yanked my daughter free from the public  placenta.

She's mine again. 

I've been wanting to free my child from the prison called school for years now.  But I wanted to be a Nice Normal Mom. And Nice Normal Moms raise Nice Normal… Read full post »

I have a friend I'll call Jessie. I met her at a day program for homeless women.

I have never seen Jessie without a smile, and  I have never heard her speak an unkind word. To anyone.

Jessie  has only one leg. She's an amputee. She gets around in a… Read full post »

At what age do we women get to stop looking at ourselves through Hugh Hefner's eyes? When do we get to stop treating our bodies like sex objects?

When we damn well choose to, that's when.

I have a dear freind who just turned 60. She has crystal blue eyes, curly… Read full post »

Of course it can - as long as you're the victim and not the perpetrator.

One of the reasons I claimed the  "Trauma Queen" title for myself, is that I am so tired of hearing people refer to how "damaged" children are by sexual abuse. The only person damaged by sexual… Read full post »

I really thought I was a person of depth. Then I joined Match.com, and became an online consumer of man-flesh.

Online dating sites are a lot  like ebay - except that the items we're bidding on are  human beings.

I was thrilled when I first checked out the online dating ads.… Read full post »

Take the Victim out of the Vagina.

Let it be a hungry drooling Beast

that sucks men in and spits men out

with a smile.

Let it creep and prowl the alleyways

for unsuspecting penises, tender… Read full post »

Working in social services because you love to help people is like working at MacDonalds because you love to cook: it is torturously frustrating.

I'm sure there are wonderful, trauma-informed, client-centered social service agencies out there. I've just never had the privilege of working for one of t… Read full post »