Of course it can - as long as you're the victim and not the perpetrator.
One of the reasons I claimed the "Trauma Queen" title for myself, is that I am so tired of hearing people refer to how "damaged" children are by sexual abuse. The only person damaged by sexual abuse is the perpetrator. His or her victims may suffer pain and disorientation - but they do not suffer "damage." Nor do they suffer from a "disorder" (the politically correct term for "damage").
Emotional, spiritual, and psychological responses to abuse are not forms of disease that need to be treated and cured. There is a huge difference between calling something a "disorder" (PTSD) and calling it a response.
Strong, beautiful children get sexually abused every day, and they remain strong and beautiful while conjuring up creative and often brilliant methods of coping.
My coping methods involved a retreat into books and stories and imagination. I developed a rich fantastical inner life and a deep kinship with animals. I also learned to treasure my connection to other human beings, because for so many years I was forced to live without that connection.
I do not believe I was damaged by the childhood abuse I suffered. I believe my heart and spirit and mind were enhanced by it. My appreciation of life and love and people and freedom are profoundly deeper than they could have been otherwise.
My perpetrators hurt me, but they did not damage me. They damaged themselves. I could escape the hell they created, but they could not. I would never have traded places with them. Would you? Can you imagine the hell of being trapped in a perpetrator's mind? Can you imagine having no way back to humanity except through the hell of acknowledging the full horror of what you've done? Just the thought of it makes me shudder.
In a previous post, I said I believed in a God who wasn't capable of doing anything. But that wasn't true. The God I believe in can do something: God can transform the most wretched experiences of our lives, and create meaning out of them. And that really is doing something.
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Thank You. Of course I am still on the journey - I expect to always be on the journey.
@ Bonnie.
When I say "sexual abuse" I do mean "violent crime." Forgive me if I didn't make that clear. I think sex offenders need to be permanently restrained from contact with other people. No one deserves a second chance to commit a sex crime.
@dragonlady.
I am so sorry about your sister - and you. Not only did you have to endure rape, but the loss of your sibling as well. I am often amazed that I did not end my own life. But I do not believe your sister was damaged - because that implies there was something wrong with her as a result of the abuse. I know I seem to be playing with semantics here (probably because I am) but words are extremely powerful. Sex criminals attempt to project their own self-contempt onto vulnerable human beings - and they are almost always successful at doing so. When I began to reject the "sick" labels others put on me - for crimes I was not responsible for - I began to heal. My life began to change drastically.
As Bonnie stated, we are crime victims. We are not guilty. We are not sick. We are not damaged. Those labels belong to the criminals.
Again, I am so so sorry that your sister died. But I believe she died from her perpetrator's sickness - not her own. Does that make sense?
"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen."
- Elizabeth Kubler Ross