BIG FAT TRAUMA QUEEN

a lighthearted look at traumatic abuse and its aftermath

big fat trauma queen

big fat trauma queen
Location
Undercover in the Bay Area, California, U.S.A.
Birthday
November 08
Title
Defying Gravity
Company
Wicked
Bio
I, like millions of others, am a refugee from some fairly gruesome childhood happenings. I entered adulthood as a selectively mute, unwashed, suicidal, friendless, uneducated, delusional, and sick-fat (as opposed to healthy-fat) young woman. I have been homeless in the Tenderloin (I am prouder of that than I am of my master's degree), and I have spent years in self-imposed solitary confinement. No more. I have morphed over the years into an irritatingly chipper and hyper-friendly Trauma Queen. If you're having a bad day, don't even look at me; my happy little face will just piss you off. This blog is dedicated to all the other Trauma Queens and Kings out there - we of the shrunken hippocampus and the hair-trigger amygdala. We who, in D.H. Lawrence's words, have "passed through the waters of oblivion." But let's not just pass through. Let's make a TSUNAMI...

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FEBRUARY 17, 2010 12:44PM

John Mayer's Penis Is A Liar

Rate: 24 Flag

John Mayer, let me count the ways...

His shallow take on life is no surprise.  Becoming a pop star at a young age has never proven to be much of a character builder.

But about that deceptive little penis of his....

John Mayer claims that his penis is racist. Bullshit. I wish it were possible for a penis to be racist - that kind of racism would have spared black  women untold agony throughout  American history. But, for good or ill,   the so-called "races" have always met in complete and total harmony below the waist.

John Mayer, like all heterosexual white men, is more than capable of being sexually attracted to black women.  What he's not capable of  is valuing a black woman enough to develop a relationship with her. That's the nasty truth lurking between the lines of his slanderous comments on black women's beauty.

White people have always used sex to degrade black people. Black men are degraded by being  portrayed as giant walking phalluses, a flesh and blood parody of male sexuality: testosteronic freaks  to be feared by pale and dainty white vaginas.

What's done to black women is even worse. They are told, "Not only are you - like all women - sex objects, but you will never be more than the dimestore variety. The disposable kind." 

White men's message to black women has always been: we will desire you intensely, we will fuck you every chance we get, but we will never, EVER, let you get away with thinking that you're beautiful.

The truth I'd love for black women to hear is this: your inherent sexual beauty  is not up for question. It never has been.  It has only been used as a weapon against you. We hit you where you lived:we sliced open the soft underbelly of your womanhood. It's been very effective. Hasn't it?

Your only hope is to stop believing what your enemies tell you about yourselves. But they're everywhere, aren't they? They loom over your heads like the sky, on billboards, on movie screens, and on the covers of  magazines (have you checked out Vanity Fair this month?).

White women knowingly risk skin cancer and premature aging to darken their skins. They stick needles into their lips and pump them full of silicone to achieve a look that most black women are born with.  We do this, all the while implying that black women, with their naturally dark skin and naturally full lips, are the "lesser" beauties.

And how about that hair? The kind of hair most valued in this culture is the kind that hangs from a horse's rear-end: horse tail hair. I think "mane and tail" is actually a popular form of hair-care product used by both horses and people. 

But black women's hair is uniquely human. That spun-sugar, light as froth angel-hair is only to be found on the heads of human beings. And yet, black women have  successfully been convinced that it's ugly. I think the word they use to describe their hair is "bad."

The last thing black women  need is the approval of John Mayer's pale little penis. But that's beside the point. By claiming that his human heterosexual reproductive organs are incapable of responding to black women, he impicitly cast them out of his species.

Some people think this issue is trivial or funny. I don't.

Somewhere in the United States today, a young black woman is looking at herself in the mirror, and wondering what is so repulsive about her  that she can't inspire even the most base and instinctive sexual response in a man. That's not trivial.

Whoever that girl is, she is precious and  important. We owe her. And what we white folks will get for repaying that debt, is a good bit of our own humanity back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A beautiful and brave post. This was so well written and got to the point of how racism goes in so many directions and how those directions have not been stopped. It is beyond belief that we are still dealing with the white male insanity and ignorance.
rated
Very well written.
What John Mayer said was stupid and beyond thoughtless. The racism is not in his little crotch. It is behind his ears. Maybe people, black and white will see what he is and let him slip in obscurity.
Hold on a second! Is his expression thoughtless, tasteless and insulting on its face? Yes. Is it necessarily indicative of racism? NO. I am a gay man and I can say in all honesty that I am not attracted to black men or black women; the reality of this does not imply I am a racist, a label I would take serious umbrage to. As your blog states the black person has, beyond their pigmentation, other physical variations unlike others of the human species (mongoloid, caucasoid and negroid are scientifically categorized after all). Not finding these qualities aesthetically or sexually pleasing does not indicate an indictment of the race by the proverbial viewer- its simply a matter of taste. And by the way, are you not implying in your posting that Mr. Mayer SHOULD be attracted to black women in a sexual way simply because they possess vaginas? Now whos being sexist?
Mayer's penis, along with his ignorant mouth shouldn't be imposed on anyone -- black, white, male, female, everyone should be spared this kind of hateful nonsense. Great post. Rated!
It would be nice if it was only John Mayer's racist and ignorant penis out there; but it's not. This is a fantastic piece extolling the virtues of being a black woman. John Mayer's penis doesn't know what its missing, and if there is any justice at all, it will never find out. Rated.
John Mayer's penis talks too much._r
trauma queen - I agree - you have written a brave and I believe a very acutely accurate synopsis of John Mayer's racism. I don't think his racism is restricted to any part of his anatomy - I think it is fully ingrained in his spirit, and this is the bleakest of all racism, and the root.

foxanhound - you make a valid point, to an extent. True, most of us have certain sexual preferences and exclude certain groups from our list of desirable partners. At least, I HOPE we do. Maybe John really DOESN'T find women of a certain race sexually attractive. Nothing wrong with that, frankly. But yes, by splashing his sexual proclivities, or lack thereof, out there in such a public manner, by specifically drawing attention to his penis in that context - yes, it was racist, it was sexist, and it revealed yet again how shallow and morally bankrupt he is.

I'll go a step even further, at the risk of being banished from all that is good and holy - anyone who supports John and the multitude of others who demonstrates this blatant sexist, racist mentality by purchasing tickets, CD's, or anything else that might ultimately line his pockets and perpetuate his podium shares in his complicity.

We can never claim to be a culturally enlightened society until we quit supporting and tolerating the demeaning of any group of people.
This is an excellent post with your points well made. The guy is basically a royal jackass.
Oh my goodness. And I always kinda liked his romantic little tunes although I have thought him to look rather wienie-ish. I happen to be particularly attracted to black women. Natural selection. The part of your piece regarding a black woman looking in the mirror and wondering why she cannot elicit a sexual response from...I'm not sure...a man, any man, John Mayer, who is a wienie boy anyway? Well, she can elicit a response from me any day of the week. xox
to kit duncan- okay, one more time to clarify- expressing a taste or sentiment of aesthetics does not directly indicate a bias to the opposite, or other, forms- for example- i am gay and like men- does that make me a chauvinist? no. but since I can see the contrary point (ie, gay is not a choice) let me go one step further- i am also an artist- i detest Russian Suprematism- i recognize however its place in art history and cultural discourse though I wouldn't hang it in a closet if someone gave one to me- am I therefore anti-Russian art? no, its simply not to my taste- Now if someone can show that Mr. Mayer has refused to hire a black woman for a job due simply to her race then, yes, he is a racist- the expression of preference need not be demonized. Keep this in perspective; he shouldnt have said it and will suffer for it surely, but a racist? no more than Mr. Tiger Woods for marrying, and filandering on, his white wife!
THANK you for this! It needed, so badly, to be said. And I as a Black woman commend you even more. I took a little pot shot at the incident on my blog, but was so completely out of the loop that I didn't KNOW the whole story. I was simply told that he'd uttered the "N" word somewhere. Now...well...I'd like to put my big foot in that "stupid mouth" of his. The one he sings about with such fake sensitivity...rated, to be SURE!
So happy to see a new post by you. Excellent take on John Mayer and his stupid penis and brain. I don't agree with Foxandhound. I think ,sure, it's legal to go around talking about what you don't like, but it's stupid when it's something like this. His penis is a virulent racist like David Duke? That's just is nasty or too stupid or something that makes one want to say, " Piss off, dufus napalm moist wiener famewhore ,chronic masturbator, hairy palmed, guitar pickin, loose lipped , mouth breathing-- john mayer you. Black woman do fine without your stupid starlet humping ass"

rated always! Pardon the semi misplaced rage above.
the bloom fell off the rose for that guy for me some time ago. These recent interviews only confirm it.

he's not only a douche, he's an affected, narcissistic douche.

touche'!
I'd like to go back to the good old days... when we didn't think or talk about John Mayer's penis. My brain can only take so many scrubbings with lye before it gives out.
GREAT post. Surly, you made me laugh!
I'm jealous, my penis can't talk...


{[R]}
I wish John Mayer's penis, and his mouth, would STFU.
ahem. the john mayer thing is odious for sure. but, theres a strange contradiction here. I have almost never seen women complain en masse like this [in response to him] about not being seen as sexually desirable.... quite the opposite, women often complain about being seen as sexual objects. so I feel theres some kind of weird double standard going on here. as the old saying goes, damned if you do, damned if you dont.
"love is blind".... mayor seems kinda blind himself....
That pale and dainty white vaginas fear big black penises is a false statement; I've heard quite the opposite. On the other hand, the guy is just another douche bag with diarrhea of the mouth.

Rated.
It's a shame he's so pretty. He should have a face to match his putrid soul.
Thank You all for commenting!

@foxanhound -Mayer wasn't expressing a preference for white women, he was expressing contempt for black women. Besides, black women are far too diverse for this to be an issue of aesthetics. Contrary to stereotype, all black women do not look alike.

@uzn- Mayer wasn't saying he didn't think of black women as sex objects. He made it quite clear that he does think of them as sex objects - undesirable sex objects.

@Thoth - the two black men I fell in love with were neither more or less endowed than white men I've known. And their reproductive organs had nothing to do with my affection for them. I think the fact that black men are forbidden to white women create a heightened desirability that isn't always healthy for either person involved.

@ anyone who thinks rejecting black people is a matter of aesthetics: One of the black men I was in love with was short - my height - and very dark-skinned. He was a doctor from Nigeria, brilliant, reserved and dignified. He was an honorable man and a devoted father to his children. The other black man I was in love with was tall, skinny, gangly, and a poet. He was about as dark as I get when I have a good tan. He was sensitive, cried easily, and had a difficult time playing the role of father to his children, (although he always tried). These two men could not have looked or acted more differently from each other. How could I or anyone possibly reject millions of diverse human beings as a matter of taste or aesthetics? Racism is not a matter of logic or "taste." It is mindless and irrational.
@foxanhound again - we are both attracted to males - and if you try to tell me that you would kick Taye Diggs out of bed, then I KNOW you are either insane or a liar. Which is it?
Thank You all for commenting!

@foxanhound -Mayer wasn't expressing a preference for white women, he was expressing contempt for black women. Besides, black women are far too diverse for this to be an issue of aesthetics. Contrary to stereotype, all black women do not look alike.

@uzn- Mayer wasn't saying he didn't think of black women as sex objects. He made it quite clear that he does think of them as sex objects - undesirable sex objects.

@Thoth - the two black men I fell in love with were neither more or less endowed than white men I've known. And their reproductive organs had nothing to do with my affection for them. I think the fact that black men are forbidden to white women create a heightened desirability that isn't always healthy for either person involved.

@ anyone who thinks rejecting black people is a matter of aesthetics: One of the black men I was in love with was short - my height - and very dark-skinned. He was a doctor from Nigeria, brilliant, reserved and dignified. He was an honorable man and a devoted father to his children. The other black man I was in love with was tall, skinny, gangly, and a poet. He was about as dark as I get when I have a good tan. He was sensitive, cried easily, and had a difficult time playing the role of father to his children, (although he always tried). These two men could not have looked or acted more differently from each other. How could I or anyone possibly reject millions of diverse human beings as a matter of taste or aesthetics? Racism is not a matter of logic or "taste." It is mindless and irrational.
@foxanhound again - we are both attracted to males - and if you try to tell me that you would kick Taye Diggs out of bed, then I KNOW you are either insane or a liar. Which is it?
Awesome post! I totally agree...John Mayer has always kind of made me ill.
"Black men are degraded by being portrayed as giant walking phalluses, a flesh and blood parody of male sexuality: testosteronic freaks to be feared by pale and dainty white vaginas. "

By what, rap music?
To Miss T. Queen (IF that is your REAL name!) Yes I would kick Mr. Diggs out of bed and no I am no liar- I mean, how the hell did he even get in?- As I said, its a matter of taste and aesthetics not racism- and Mr. Mayer expressed no 'contempt' for black women it was only an OPINION of taste- as I said in my first response to this, a preference for one doesn't mean an aversion or 'hatred' of the 'other'. People who shoot me down in a bar do not do so because they 'hate' me or my race, or have contempt for me, I am simply not to their particular taste which must be people who arent handsome, charming, intelligent, well read, under 40, in shape, artistic, clean, fashionable and thrifty! But I don't hate!
He is so arrogant to utter those statements. I think he has some racial issues when he was young. I pity him.penis enlargement
It is sad how many of the young rock stars have no moral values at all, and unfortunately that is rubbing off on our children!
Peace!
senco pc1010