"The relationship that you and I have is that we pay the rent, and you maintain the property.  Only half of us are living up to that."

Not the most eloquent statement, but how many renters can relate?  I currently live in a house of horrors: Every wall and ceiling has at least one crack in it, the basement is full of the neighbors' sewage, the back door has large cracks and no knob, just a 2x4 and some rungs for a lock, the windows are 150 years old, the gutters are stagnant yet squirming with mosquito larvae, and yesterday the ceiling in a bedroom collapsed.

 I've lived here six months.  Every time I see LandLord, I politely remind him of the ongoing problems, the missing tiles, smashed windows, the persistent bedbug infestation.  And he does nothing.

After the ceiling fell (knocking over my finches water dish, but luckily they are too dumb to be scared) I called the Health Department.  BikeHusband called his lawyer mom, and they drafted a legally worded letter to Landlord.  Roommates and I stopped payment on our checks.  Then I gave the Landlord an informational phone call.

Today contractors and ceilings appeared.  Cracks were caulked.  Poison was sprayed.  It is depressing that asking for these things was not enough, I had to withhold money and invoke the authorities.  Are landlord tenant relations normally this fraught?

In the landlord's defense, the house is lovely and cheap.  In my defense, I always pay the rent on time.