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I’m An Ass Because We Disagree
It's that usually veiled statement that I am wrong and you are right simply because you think I’m wrong and you’re right
That sentiment always makes me do that thing with my head that dogs do. You know, the kind of tilt-to-one-side-with-eyes-kind-of-open-yet-squinty-and-the-mouth-agape. THAT thing. I don’t understand that, truly I do not. You and I have information, in many cases the same information. We process that information through the filter of our experiences (which many times are DIFFERENT) and our logic, and we come out on the other side with an opinion. Sometimes it is the same one; sometimes not. Why is it so imperative that I agree with you?
See, I like you. Really, I do. If I didn’t, I would not bother to engage in anything approaching meaningful dialogue with you. I value your opinion and respect your views; so why can’t you do the same in return?
I’m not asking you to sleep with me. I’m not asking you to marry me. All I’m asking you to do is to accept that I may feel differently about something than you do, and that is perfectly fine and dandy.
See, if it ISN’T perfectly fine and dandy then we are going to have a problem, because I feel entitled to have the opinion I do. I’ve done my reading in most cases, weighed the second-hand morsels I’ve had placed in my path, and I’ve come to a conclusion. There’s room to consider other views, absolutely. Until you start beating me over the head with them as if you could bludgeon me into agreement.
That will turn me off quicker than any cold shower. You can disagree with me, and I will still like you. In fact, I may very well respect you more because it tells me you are not simply a follower. But I expect to be accorded the same privilege. Surely, we can agree to disagree about things?
Please, don't present your case and expect me to just cave in and cry uncle. Especially when you insist on plowing ahead IN SPITE OF the fact that I may not feel the same way you do. This is particularly true when it turns out to be something subjective. For example, I hate broccoli. Hate it. Detest it. Will pick it out of anything you might put in front of me that contains it. You, on the other hand, love broccoli. You extoll its virtues, its succulent deliciousness.
But I still hate it. I don't hate you for loving it, I don't even dislike you a little for loving it. It is a personal choice. I respect yours.
There are people on this earth (in some cases, people who have left this earth behind) that I simply do not like. It's my right not to like them. You may love them, I have no problem with that. I DO have a problem with you telling me I must love them too. Because I DON'T have to love them.
Hopefully, you can accept that. Your friends are not necessarily my friends, and your idols are not necessarily mine. As long as we can be accepting of our differences, we're good.
DISCLAIMER:
This post isn't about any one in particular, nor any event in particular. It's about how I feel regarding disagreements. Plain and simple. You may read into it whatever you like, but I'm telling you straight out just what it's about.
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Owl_Says_Who
TheBarkingLot4
Art James
neilpaul
Outside Myself
Dennis Knight
Salon.com
Comments
I completely agree, except that you're totally wrong about the broccoli.
you are right about broccoli, though.
- rated
Nice work
Rated for alot of points... but really you had me at the labretard.
You're wrong about broccoli, by the way.
Fabflamingo - Damn, I was hoping you of all people would read something into it. :-D
Cap'n - I like being passe, passe is my forte except when I'm ex libre. Comprende?
Lisa - I could not agree more. I wish I could say the dog photo was mine, but I could not find one with the right pose.
gmgaston - That's because I always single-space. Makes it harder to read between the lines.
ainthatamerica - There is occasionally this rare confluence of thought and communication, where I actually get it right. This may be one of those times. Thanks.
iamsurly - Hey, I didn't say I didn't want to sleep with you , I said I'm not ASKING you to sleep with me. :-D
Bill - You, my friend, I might make an exception for.
UK - No I'm not. Neener neener.
:-)
tai - No need to feel awful, I have done the same thing myself. Live and learn, I say.
Owl - As always, you are wise. Now how do you feel about broccoli?
Brie - I remember that too. I also remember thinking, "If the President can't say he doesn't like broccoli then what's he good for?"
ocularnervosa - Yup. Especially when they throw broccoli. I hate that.
spotted_mind - Thanks. Hey, I saw the sketch Duane did of you. Pretty damn hot, lady. He is awesome.
Bill - I thought you might be a broccoli-lover. I heard a rumor that someone knew someone who saw a picture that was maybe of you eating broccoli and smiling. With a broccoli and Velveeta shake, no less.
Just Pamela - Um, I think that's a Thank you! *Does the head thing again*
Jim - Yes, you're right and maybe it doesn't really need to be said but I thought it was worth saying.
Ric - Registered. :-D
TheBarkingLot4 - I regret that I have but one serving of broccoli to give to my friends. But you can have it.
It's as simple as that!
denese
People get to have their say - that is the vital component. The key is knowing when to stop talking, before it starts getting personal.
Plus, I'm not sure which events on OS you're taking about. I can think of many. I am sorry if I've been a part of any. Truly.
xoxo
d
Let's all become dogs.
d
Just kidding, just kidding...
Lets just agree that we can agree to disagree about disagreeing.... my head hurts.
Michael - Believe me, fella, I have been so wrong. Just ask my wife.
Sandra - Well said.
Marcelle - Oh, you shouldn't have brought mushrooms into it. Now there's gonna be trouble.
Trig - Almost as painful as having to eat broccoli, but I digress.
Denese - Absolutely, there have been far too many. As far as I know, you haven't been party to any egregious behavior. I've never seen you do it, anyway. And I am blushing now, thank you for the compliment.
Oh, and I'll just add a sentiment I love that a co-worker has on a sign in her cubicle: Less Bark, More Wag. :-D
Victor - OK, I think I might be able to agree with that.
designanator - That's pretty much what I wanted to do all day today, play outside. It got up to about 70, first time in weeks it's been that cool and no humidity. A gorgeous day.
PS If you're an ass, you bring class to being an ass.
Sally - The dog is not mine to give, so I'm sorry but you can't have him/her. If my wife should ever tire of me, I promise you can have dibbs.
Deven - It's not about you, really. It's about Freaky, as are all posts on OS. And I didn't read "Twilight", as far as you know.
I used to share a classroom with a guy who LOVED Bush. We didn't even bother to talk politics--but we did joke with each other about it --when we both vote, we just cancel each other out. We left it at that and got along quite well.
I didn't take offense to anything you said! I didn't think your elaboration applied to me. So, do not worry at all.
You are a gentleman with a kind heart, a rarity. Your presence here on Open Salon, a gift.
xox
denese
There's an art to that and it's anything but being an asshole. I would tell you that I am the same way in my life off of Open Salon.
I wish I could integrate my real life proclivities to Open Salon, but it's hard for me. I tend to let go way too often, but that's my anti-Greg that only exists on here. Maybe it's unfortunate for some but I'd rather be more honest with my feelings on here than to hurt the people in my life causing irreparable damage. Hypocritical, I know and it does make me feel badly.
I totally get this post though because when I'm an ass, I admit it. Some people lack that ability (Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, GordonO). You see, I had to throw that in just for good measure.
Well done my friend. Stay JUST the way you are.
Rated
Great insights here, Bill. Excellent and timely post (and unlike you, I AM referring to a certain something...cough, cough.... Teddy Kennedy... cough, cough)