On 8/17 I purchased a brand-spankin’-new computer system from Dell.  This was my second machine from Dell, and my fourth machine overall in over 20 years of home computing.  For the tech heads amongst you, it was a pretty decently put-together machine:  AMD Athlon quad core processor, 6 Gb of memory, 1 T hard disk, and I even decided to go whole hog and order it with Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit.  I did upgrade the sound option from their on-board stuff to a Soundblaster card, and I dismissed the speakers as I have a nice set already at home.

The first sign that this would be a less-than-stellar experience should  have been when I arrived home about 5 days later to find a package on my doorstep from Dell.  It was the sound card.  I was a bit surprised to see it, as I assumed (since past experience indicated) that they would install the sound card before shipping the machine.  Now, I’m an old hand at installing sound and video cards, so it didn’t upset me.

When the machine arrived, the second thing that should have sent up warning flags was the complete and utter lack of meaningful documentation as well as install disks.  Apparently nowadays you are expected to just plug the different components together and make a restore disk for your use if things should go weird.  Well, I had to open the case to install the sound card, and there wasn’t a damn thing in the setup guide that showed me how to get the new case open. 

This initiated a call to tech support, which should have been the third red flag.  Kept on the phone for 15 minutes because my call was so important to them that they couldn’t find an available technician, my 11-year-old daughter and I finally figured out how to open the case and get the sound card properly seated in the PCI slot.  When I was informed by the lovely automated voice at Dell that my call wait time might be longer than ten minutes and perhaps I should try again at a later time, I simply hung up.  After all, I had solved my own problem, no thanks to them.

The last straw was Labor Day.  My machine booted up normally, but later in the day when I tried to open MS Word from MS Office Starter Edition 2010, it said it could not open and try again later or go to Control Panel and repair the software.  Well, since I didn’t WANT to try again later, I did as instructed and initiated a repair.  It said it was successful, but I was still unable to open Word.  I figured, it being a holiday, I’d wait until the next day to seek assistance.  That is, until Google Picasa 3 (photo editing software), which I had installed over a week ago and used repeatedly without issue since, started throwing errors.  It opened, but none of my photos would display in it.

Frustrated at this point, I initiated my call to tech support.  The first technician, whom I assume was nothing more than a phone operator, took my info and gleefully reported that he had to switch me to the appropriate tech for my machine and to please hold.  Somewhere around 5 minutes later, I got a second tech who once again took all my information and told me cheerfully that he’d be happy to help me with my laptop.  “No”, I corrected him – “I have a DESKTOP system.”  Well, he’d still be happy to forward me to the correct technician if I’d please hold.

After half an hour on hold, I got technician #3.  This fellow listened attentively to my issues, and suggested we start a remote assistance session so he could look at my machine.  We reached a point where I was supposed to agree to the terms of the remote session, but I had (what I thought was) a very valid question.  The instructions for the remote session involved downloading software from Dell to make the remote connection, and those instructions included removal of the software for every operating system except the one I had.  The technician happily insisted I just needed to click on “I Agree” and we’d be fine.  No, I insisted.  Clicking “I Agree” means I agree to all the terms on the left, and I want to be able to uninstall this software after we’re done.  The now-less-than-cheerful response was to just please click “I Agree” so we could proceed. 

Once the remote session was established, the technician tried to start the software which of course wouldn’t start.  He then performed the exact same task I told him I had already done and tried to repair it via the control panel.   Pleased with its success, he then once more attempted to start the program only to be thwarted by the very same error message.  “Well, since this software is only available as a burn-in on your machine, I’m afraid you’ll have to restore the system to the factory settings in order to fix it.” 

At which point I expressed my severe dis-satisfaction with the company he represented as well as Microsoft.  I reminded him that this machine was a mere ten days old in my house; that it had taken me hours to copy over necessary files from my old system, and hours more to begin the painful process of re-installing software I needed.  Now he was telling me I’d have to it all over again.  Who would pay me for the time I’d already invested?  He didn’t have an answer except to tell me that he agreed but could do nothing further.  So I did what any irate customer would do; I asked to speak to the manager.

It took less time to get the tech support manager on the phone.  He understood my frustration (not really but I always let them spew their platitudes) but it was the only way to resolve the problem.  I then explained to him that this was unacceptable because, should the problem occur again in a month, I’d be right back where I’d started.  I told him I have worked with personal computers for over 25 years and their “solution” was no solution at all.

He then made the mistake of suggesting the possibility that something I had installed had corrupted the software installation for MS Office.  To which I replied, “wait a minute – are SERIOUSLY suggesting that I should purchase a computer from your company and then NEVER INSTALL ANY SOFTWARE ON IT??? “  Knowing that nothing could be gained from this, I thanked him for being absolutely no help at all and hung up.

Funny, when you call Dell to order a system the sales department is open 24/7/365.   But when you call for customer service, such as requesting a return authorization for a machine that you no longer need, they’re only staffed during normal business hours.  I guess I know where Dell places their value, and it sure as hell isn’t on customer service.

I’m sending them the machine back.  I pray that my old system continues to lumber along until such time as I can get my account credited for the machine I am returning and then try to perform yet another search for a system from a vendor I can be happy with.

But I won’t buy another Dell computer.  My purchase included the licensing for the software on the machine, and for that I should receive installation disks.  Now they charge you extra for those.  I’m also completely dis-satisfied with Microsoft.  Looking through their forums, many of the problems I see cropping up on this machine have been reported ad nauseum ad infinitum, and there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of positive replies from knowledgeable people that actually helped resolve anything.

Maybe it’s time to start looking at Macintosh.