This article is part of my ongoing experiment to determine what makes the average American idiot respond emotionally.  To that end I gave it a sappy title and packed the tags with the most popular concepts in a vain attempt to draw a mainstream audience, at least long enough for you to realize I'm laughing at your media-implanted values.  The whole project is somewhat like the Futurist art performances in pre-Nazi Germany, where the actors would come down from the stage and beat the audience with sticks simply for being bourgeois scum.  I'm not saying my cynical and sarcastic rants are on par with the madness preceding the rise of the Third Reich, but I have to agree with Glenn Beck that America is showing a lot of similarities to the Weimar Republic.  Of course that's misleading, since America also shows parallels to Rome, Britain, and Russia in the mid-1980s.  Insert your favorite failed empire here.

But I really did have a point about my adorable grandmother.  I was at some party or birthday or family reunion and my sweet Polish babci was arguing in favor of Obama with my uncle.  She occasionally uses the word nigger, but in a quiet, apologetic way.  I also think she feels bad about the water cannons.  She wanted health care reform and was willing to give Obama another term.  "Although," she said, pointing at her aging husband. "For the last ten years, even with everything we got we didn't pay a cent to anyone."

In the silence that followed, before my uncle could quote Rush Limbag, I responded, "Maybe so, but the government didn't really pay for it either."  My family laughed at the true statement, but the moment was sad for me.  Just another reminder that the world is changing, and I know from experience that the world rarely changes for the better.  Now rate me you empty, close-minded fools.