I wanted to avoid talking about the Westboro Baptist Church.  After all, trying to convince a person that they aren't in personal contact with God is like trying to explain to a schizophrenic that the CIA isn't really trying to steal their precious bodily fluids.  You've probably heard about Rev. Phelps, even if you weren't aware of it consciously; the WBC was that group that went around to soldiers funerals, explaining through a loudhorn that God hates Fags, America, Priests, and pretty much anything that isn't a member of the church.  Being a member of the WBC, and by extension a direct relation of Phelps, seems to be the only way to get into heaven these days.   Phelps is losing it so he recently added Lady Gaga to that list, but that's what happens when you take a book so riddled with contradictions and try to live your life by selectively reading a few quotes.  My favorite trick is to ask the literalists, "If your brother dies should you immediately marry his wife?", because there are no less than three different answers (Yes, no, maybe) to this question in your average King James version.  So the question remains, does God hate Fags?  Well, as someone who has studied Christianity for a decade and served as best man in a gay wedding, I feel uniquely able to see both sides in this debate.

Now, I want to be clear about one thing; reading the bible is not the same as understanding it.  Take the prohibitions on homosexuality.  There are a few references to hot man-on-man action in the Old Testament, all forbidding it on the surface.  But take the individual examples.  Leviticus, for example, says "Thou shalt not lie with a man as with a woman."  Seems pretty straightforward, when taken out of context.  But Leviticus also has a super-long section about the proper way to handle a menstruating woman.  You don't have to read the whole thing, but watch the reaction next time you ask a fundamentalist if his wife has a clean, holy flower or is bleeding and hellbound:  

And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even.

20 And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean.

21 And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

22 And whosoever toucheth any thing that she sat upon shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

23 And if it be on her bed, or on any thing whereon she sitteth, when he toucheth it, he shall be unclean until the even.

24 And if any man lie with her at all, and her flowers be upon him, he shall be unclean seven days; and all the bed whereon he lieth shall be unclean.

25 And if a woman have an issue of her blood many days out of the time of her separation, or if it run beyond the time of her separation; all the days of the issue of her uncleanness shall be as the days of her separation: she shall be unclean.

26 Every bed whereon she lieth all the days of her issue shall be unto her as the bed of her separation: and whatsoever she sitteth upon shall be unclean, as the uncleanness of her separation. 

27 And whosoever toucheth those things shall be unclean, and shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.

28 But if she be cleansed of her issue, then she shall number to herself seven days, and after that she shall be clean.

29 And on the eighth day she shall take unto her two turtles, or two young pigeons, and bring them unto the priest, to the door of the tabernacle of the congregation.

I wonder how many female members of the Westboro Baptist Church keep turtles on hand in case their husband touches the bed while aunt Flo is in town?  My point is that until the WBC is willing to follow every command in the Bible, including the parts that contradict the other parts, then by their own logic God must hate them.  It is, after all, the word of God, unbreakable and sacrosanct.  Unless you mean Obama quoting the Sermon on the Mount, because then it's completely okay to mock the Bible.  The worst part is these people have no idea how ridiculous they are, or how impossible it is to actually live by the bible.  And even if you could somehow find a balance between marrying your brother's wife and casting her aside, READING THE BIBLE IS NOT THE SAME AS UNDERSTANDING IT.  I'm completely serious about that.  There are entire pages of rituals, sacrifices and protocols that were wiped away by Jesus's decision to implement the Golden Rule.  He recognized that the early Hebrews lived in a different world than the one that was coming, and that the needs of a tribe in the desert were different from the needs of a civilized society.  The only mention of homosexuality in Leviticus has nothing to do with gayness as we understand it.  The singular reference comes at the end of a long, long, detailed paragraph forbidding incest, defined in awful detail as sex with anyone directly related to you.  Get it?  Yes, Leviticus does say that you shall not lie with a man as with a woman.  But the Bible is talking about screwing your brother, scholars of most faiths agree.  That's just common sense, man.  

But what about Corinthians and Romans?  Homosexuality is called an abomination!  Well that's fine, except St. Paul of Tarsus never met Jesus or heard him speak.  Not once.  I guess nothing ever really changes.  Two thousand years later, and we still have to listen to people who misuse the teachings of an Anointed One they never understood to force their own petty, immature view of God on the rest of us.  And I'm not saying I know what God like and hates.  I'm just saying I actually follow the preachings of Jesus, with all the love and forgiveness and "judge not" parts that the WBC apparently didn't think was God's will.

In closing, just let me explain how the thought-process of a Rev. Phelps or Westoboro Baptist Church member works.  First, you have to understand that everything bad that happens comes directly from God.  The exception is when bad things happen to the bigots, because then it's the devil.  So, if American troops are dying in Iraq and Afghanistan, that must be what God wants.  He loves it when fag-lovers die.  According to the WBC, 9/11 was also God's Will, to punish America for loving fags so much [For a partial list of people killed for being gay in America, click here].  Setting aside the awful logic at work in these claims (Was the Holocaust God's Will?  How about black slavery in America? Or the CIA's Operation Cyclone during the 70s to funnel money to the Taliban through the ISI?), this belief in the vengeful god has led the WBC to assume a number of really, really unpopular positions.  One such position is the idea that Muslim Terrorists in the Middle East are doing His Will by killing our soldiers with IEDs and roadside bombs.  So are the evil, heretical muslims a better servant of God than Phelps?  To the best of my knowledge, Phelps has never killed any US troops in the way God enjoys so much.  Once again, this belief is based in a complete misunderstanding of Biblical lore.  Technically, the punishment for almost anything in the Old Testament is banishment and death.  For a woman who bleeds wrong, "Thus shall ye separate the Children of Israel from their uncleanliness, that they die not of their uncleanness."  This means that in God's point of view any person (in this case a Jew) can be a dirty, sinful, unclean abomination but still become purified in the eyes of God.  In fact, my reading of the bible implies nearly everyone falls into the category of sinful but savable.  What does it mean to fear God?  Does it mean to spread his hatred of sodomy?  No.  It doesn't.  "The fear of the LORD is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate."  Froward is defined as difficult to deal with, contrary.  What's more froward, proud and arrogant than telling God what he dislikes based off four passages in a thousand page book?

 Oh, and by the way.  Do you know why all of the WBC's websites are called godhatesfags.com, godhatesamerica.com, etc.?  It's because there's absolutely no way the words of Jesus can be twisted to support their beliefs.  The only thing Jesus hates is people who hate, Phelps.