Black Boots' Blog

I am very jealous but I fight it with my sense of humor

Black Boots

Black Boots
August 30
Lover of bellies
I have lost my lover who loved my boots. The psychic crossing guard, who spits and bangs on cars, warned me that he was selfish. I came to suspect that he was secretly funneling anonymous money to the Tea Party. He also hated museums. For now, I seem to attract adventures as a suburban housewife.Only you can determine which is fiction.


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SEPTEMBER 7, 2010 10:32PM

Boots Wants Captain Portobello

Rate: 6 Flag

Boots was smitten. She had just emailed a note to Michael:

I told you I don't feel like that about you anymore. It is too much work. I need phone contact and more. This is boring. I hope you had good weekend in Hamptons. There is no future for us (maybe not even as friends because I need much more) Don't keep your GF strung along.

 Michael wrote back:


Well he doesn’t seem to be taking this too hard Boots thought. He is just so selfish. Boots really realized that Michael was not really good for her when she started writing to a blogger, Captain Portobello, on the Open Salon Site. Captain Portobello wrote such sexy posts. Boots was not sure if the Captain was a man or a woman…but that did not matter. The Captain knew what Boots wanted. Boots was also not sure if the Captain was of a legal age or if he/she was blogging from a prison.

Boot’s friend, Mindy, suggested that the Captain may just be a very effeminate man who wrote best in a pink feathered robe. Boots got slightly aroused imaging this mysterious man/woman. She would take Captain Portobello’s feather robe and use it to her advantage.  In her imagination, the Captain would allow her to tie him/her up with his/her garters to the hot water pipe in his poor bed bug infested apartment, no hovel, under the train tracks or if he was an inmate, a trailer built for conjugal visits. She would slowly touch his body with the robe’s feathers until he/she cried for mercy.



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Yes, he was so self involved. I think the Captain would call me from prison or his hovel and send me smelly undershirts for my birthday. The Captain will be very thoughtful and compliant.
I'm thinking a prison inmate in garters and a pink robe is already getting WAY more company than he wants.
David sugar you know that I could easily fixate on you but I don't want to live in Hawaii or Texas- the bugs are too big and I can't drive. The Captain is a tortured individual who can give me house of play time...just think of the possibilities.

Irish- maybe it is a woman's prison. I still have not figured out real gender. I need pix.
Correction: hours of playtime.
I know the captain well, and he is a bit miffed,
though perversely complemented
by such an outrageous speculation on his manhood.

He is heterosexual male to the bone...a bit effemminte,
yes, but only because he was raised by wise women...
to respect females...
respect their wishes...

especially when it comes to their erotic wishes...
dominant...submissive...this guy can do it all...
you are quite lucky to have found him.

poor michael...we'll all miss that sap....(not!)
OOOOH Mr. Sunshine- you are right anything to free me from the bondage of my last obsession. I was driven wild by not getting my way . The man took one and half years to actually pick up the phone to call me... the pain of of the discomfort was sustenance combined with the cheap thrill of hearing his snake like voice....full of excuses and lies...but he was very safe and he liked to play and let me chase but now I am weary of the chase and ready for absolute adoration...I wonder what the Captain will do?
B.B. ... I love the sound of you walking away {from Capt. P}, in your black boots ....keep walking (Franz Ferdinand & Nancy Sinatra).
Beta- so you saw my post with Franz ferdinand? But why should I walk away from Captain P...I love him/her..It is Micheal I'm dumping...the Captain is just so much more you know him/her?
the captain will meet you and
take you in his arms then
satisfy every damn need you have
per your insistent instruction, then intrude
upon your fantasy to
help him, poor fellow,
fulfill his own
Brianna- Mr. Sunshine will have to clue us all in since he knows him well.
B.B. ... I'm thinking I love the sound of you walking all over {Capt. P} and yes ,I know him/her (or their type). "One of these days these boots all gonna walk all over you. Keep walking, Keep Walking." Nancy S.