Sal is gone now...
We put him down this morning; yesterday morning he seemed just fine, but we knew he had worrisome lump that looked very like a hernia, and we wanted to have it looked at; well the lump turned out not be a Hernia but instead a rather large tumor was pushing against his insides.
It simply had to come out and we scheduled surgery for Monday; but he declined quickly overnight and we took him to the VetER; I fear with no ill intention, the doc must have aggravated his condition when she was pressing on the lump; (we all thought in the moment was a hernia.) In any event he was not going to survive to Monday; it really came down to seeing him off gently; or leaving him to die in pain. We took him home after a few hours at the vet ER and they revived him some, but he was quite wilted again in the morning; unable even to stand to pee. So we took him to Dr Palmers as planned and had him put to sleep.
Lauren was with him to the very end. I could not bare it myself; I felt sure if I saw him actually die; I could not possibly drive us safely home; but he is gone now. ...
I've had these lines from 'The Raven Haired Woman" in my head all day.
When we come to the boatman,
We leave all we have gathered on the shore.
Take with us the Love we have given.
This and nothing more.
And I keep thinking Sal's boat is going to be pretty full. For the last 5 years I've hardly touched a bite of food without his unspoken offer to help. He sleeps at Ls Feet; and most nights rests for some time with his bum pressed up to her thigh. It's not like he's been part of the family; He's absolutely been part of the family; I have literally hundreds of pictures of him; he was always so cluelessly adorable.
Just over 24 hours ago I was taking him for a quick walk before we went to the vets; he was happy and stubborn and full of life; and very much wanted me to stretch our walk and go to the park. I'm telling you this so you'll know; he was ill; but he did not know he was ill, and when the end came it was mercifully swift. He was snatched from us, and that is a terrible pain; but better that than he should linger in pain for our sakes.
He's gone now, but I like to think so poor god has a new little face at his table; and he's never going to have another bite to eat he can think of as his own.