My brother passed this week; which has been a terrible blow to my Mom, and Sis; for me, honestly me and Tim were always a bit estranged; it's not that we disliked one an other; we just never had much in common; and so we never did those things we might have that would have wove that cord between us. Just the same I have written this short note to his son, and I am posting it here to Archieve it for myself and for a few Friends. BB.
---------------------------------------------------------------------My apologies if this letter is unwelcome; you don't know me and I would not presume the right to impose on your life; in a matter as intimate as Death; but I am at the same time your Dads brother; and I thought you might wish to lend an ear to one or two things.
When we were very small your Dad would trap birds in our back yard; we would put out an old bird cage, lay out some bait, and when one of the birds hopped into the cage seeking a bread crumb spring the trap. We had more 1 day pets that way; your Dad was always fascinated by the little guys.
When I was 17 got into a fight and beatdown one of the Neighborhood kids, a week later I was cornered by a bunch of his friends; and they would likely have killed me; not beat me down; killed me, most of us carried knives back in the day.
Anyhow, someone says, "You know who that is."
"Yea, That's the Kid that beatdown Jimmy."
"No, That's Tim's Brother!" They could not have scattered more quickly if someone shouted Grenade; that was your Dad; he was always like that, On the One hand the Baddest Kid in a Bad Neighborhood; on the other a person who could hold a wild bird in his hand.
I think that's why he was so effective as a Union Rep, he could care for the people that needed caring for, and fight for the people that needed fighting for; both at the same time. Your Dad was the living proof that Toughness, and Gentleness are not exclusive, but both necessary elements of a whole man. Your Dad was born to protect people, I firmly believe that was his intent, his calling in his time here among us; and I firmly believe now that he has left us, he can be reborn into a life where-in he once again has the means Physical, Mental, Material to fulfill that intent.
Of course that does not bring him back for you; nothing can do that, nothing at all. And nothing I can say today can provide anything but the coldest comfort in your present moment; but in time perhaps it may provide you with the opportunity to say to yourself. Your loss was not wasted, your loss was not meaningless, your loss maybe, just maybe was part of the price we are all paying in our own way so your Dad can fulfill his intent.
I don't know you; I don't know anything at all about how you feel about things like rebirth; but consider this, Nothing in the Universe is truly lost; Wood becomes, Heat, Heat becomes light, and that light can travel the stars; nothing in the Universe is lost; it is transformed, reused; but the Law of Conservation of Energy, one of the Fundamental laws of Physics tells us nothing is lost; why should we, this spark we know as ourselves be the one and only exception to that Law of Nature, no that makes no sense.
I don't know just what death is, but I know what it isn't and it isn't oblivion, your Dad is not lost, only lost to us; his time in our lives, that's done, his time in his own; is only just beginning.
Brightest Blessings, BB.