I'm thinking about Kate Hardings excellent post on Broadsheet today, June 6, 2009, on criticism of Sarah Palin's “message to her children.” I urge you to read it because it does point out that women in politics still face a simplistic and cruel double standard, and no matter what we might feel about Palin, she does not deserve this criticism. Being a parent I find that I am less likely as I grow older to define anyone as a “bad” father or mother, but that I quite often think “I'd hate to be his or her kid.” I thought that quite a bit about Sarah and Todd during last summer's GOP convention and the recent break with the designated first son-in-law-to-be has only strengthened my prejudice. I have also had these thoughts about Governor Marc Sanford of South Carolina and Senator Ensign of Nevada, about George H. W. and Barbara Bush, as well as the late Micheal Jackson. All that being said it remains true that women are expected to be nurturers and that men are expected to be emotional remote and selfish, and so the criticism of parenthood will always cut more deeply into a woman running for office than into a man even if they are opponents and they have both shown the exact same narcissism and frigidity. As the world struggles to be a less misogynistic place our efforts have been more successful at depreciating male privilege than elevating women's status and opportunity. So the sum effect is that men have less of a guaranteed free pass while women bear the same inflated onus.

Women already bear the unfortunate double standard adherent to National Security. Because our military and foreign policy is dominated by paranoia and hubris, every candidate for high office, be they male or female, must demonstrate a sociopathic willingness to destroy the entire species if events should so demand. This criteria, coupled with the demand that only married hetero candidates with children can hope to ascend to the White House, compels every female politician with higher ambition to play either Medea, or Mother Courage. Talk about bad parenting!

Many years ago it became popular to observe that average American voters would rather drink a beer with George Bush than Al Gore or John Kerry. A fairly silly test that I would like to replace with my own. This test is about parenting so those Americans without kids will just have to imagine just like the millions of Americans who don't like beer.

Imagine you are in a park with many other people of all sorts, rich, poor, gay, straight, bi, try, polyamorous, women, men,people with god, people without, people with more gods than you can count, Afro, Asian,Euro,Pan Pacific, you get the picture. You have kids. At the park all of the people who want to be President are waiting to participate in a Family Debate. Your partner, or partners are not there because they had to work. Just before the event there is a terrible tragedy like 9/11x9/11, right in the part of town where your loved ones are working. Cell phones are out and there is a general panic.

Someone from the podium begins to speak, he feels your pain, he's knows you have much to do, that you must find out about your families that you must volunteer to assist in rescue. He also knows that you are concerned about your children and that you have no idea where you can turn....

So he suggests you leave the children with them. The candidates. You can pick any person up there, they're all ready to help and keep your children safe and calm, fed and secure. Behind the speaker you see Newt Gingrich wince and shake his head while behind him Karl Rove just laughs. Bush, Clinton, Gore, Obama, Romney, McCain, Palin, Pawlenty, Biden, Huckabee, Sharpton ,Jackson, McKinny, Kucinich, Nader,even Carter and Dole are all there. Who would you choose, if you had to choose?

I said it was a silly test, but not as silly as the beer test. I've drunk a beer with countless assholes that I would never leave in charge of my kids. And really there is an emergency here, our planet is on fire and we are all dying of something sooner than we are ready, and we worry about what will happen to those we love when we can not look out for them. Who would you trust with the security and happiness of your beloved?

I like this test because it is weighted towards our given biases about women but there's room for men to make the cut. I also like it because it makes the whole First Lady/Gentleman thing somewhat pertinate. Some might bristle at the President as Big Momma or Big Daddy, but what the hell, we already call him/(someday) her Leader of the Free World and give he, or (someday soon, honest) she the most dangerous arsenal in the history of humanity.

I don't know what kind of parents Sarah and Todd Palin are, but I wouldn't leave my kids with them.