1. Who was your WORST prom date? 

If I told you his name, I'd have to kill you. He's grown into a reallly good-looking man and may have learned how to dance. Dunno.

2. Who was your WORST love and do you still talk with him/her? 

My ex-husband. Couldn't carry on an interesting conversation when he was alive, either. 

3. What was your WORST alcoholic drink?

Gin and tonic. Tanqueray or no Tanqueray.

4. What was your WORST job? 

At a metal-parts, independently owned, company. I was 18 or so and the cocky little CEO was in his mid-40's. 

Lesson learned: Never go to  lunch alone with the owner (whose family practically founded Galveston) when he's in the middle of his mid-life crisis. 

Don't ask. 

5. What was your WORST car? 

My worst and first car was an old, white Biscayne Chevy, utilitarian and affordable. Worked ok, just ugly.

6. Who was the WORST person to text you today? 

 Texting 24/7 will give you thumb cancer as it destroys brain cells. 

7. Who is the WORST person you thought of this morning?

Let's see: Oh, the Sheet-rock guy, the roofer, the painter.......and DRB/IKE. 

8. Who was your WORST teacher? 

I audited a Decorating Class at our local community college several years ago. Walked out during the second 20 minutes. 

Here's how it went:  After the initial introductions, Miss Priss-Know-Nothing started a Slide Show on the History of Design.  Using her long pointer to an embarrassing fault, she attempted to illustrate the influences of ancient civilization on modern-day architecture. (First red flag: high school curriculum).

She began by pointing and tapping, affectedly and authoritatively, on three targets, alternating her clicks ... between the Great Sphynx and the Great Red and Khufu Pyramids.

 I swear this is a direct quote which prompted my exit:

"And nowwww, students .... we come to the Phy-nexxiz of Egypt!"

Phy-nexx-iz? Is it me?

9. When and where did you go on your WORST ride on an airplane? 

The worst airplane ride was with me as the co-pilot. It's true. It was the second or third *flying* Lesson. I was in my 20s when Cool took precedence over Judgement.

Skipped Flight Simulation Class. The Instructor, sensing he may be in danger of losing my course fees if I quit the class, said we should take a test run and take the plane up for a spin. 

Walked over to the very small plane. (No, I don't remember what kind it was) Touched it. Felt it wobble. Started to panic, but was not smart enough to back down. I did, however, make the instructor strap us in one seat-belt together so I'd be sure to have something to hang on to in the event......I always think ahead. OK, maybe not.

He flew the plane over areas that were familiar and breath-takingly beautiful to ease my fears. Even flew right over my house as a diversion.  As soon as I started to breathe regularly, he said, as we are in the air, in flight, thousands of miles up in thuh damn air:

"OK, now, BR, it's your turn to fly the plane. Don't worry, I'm right here and will guide you. There's nothing to worry about. Take the controls."

 Sh*t. 

 The only things I heard that day were:

1. It's just like driving a car.

2. Keep it level with the horizon. LEVEL with the horizon.

     I said, "Keep it LEVEL with the horizon!"

If you have never been blessed with the paralyzing fear of being in control of a rust-crusted plane with a door on your side that would not close all the way:

It is not just like driving a car. With a car, you can pull over to the side of the road and GET OUT.

10. Who was your WORST best friend & do you still talk? 

My very worst best friend was a chronic liar. We'd known each other since high school, sang in a folk group together and shared all of our hopes and dreams. I had my suspicions, but she could tell a story with such verisimilitude that it was difficult to question. Years later, I caught her red-handed. It didn't bother her one bit.

She just kept on. Our friendship didn't. 

11. Where was your WORST sleepover?

It was on the Bluewater Highway of Galveston -  Surfside Beach -  in a huge tent with 4 little boys who kept running in and out of the tent flinging mountains of sand and critters all over the sleeping bags.

We left the party and the tent before dusk the next day, much to my son's dismay. I blamed it on his sunburn.

That night high tide came in flooding and collapsing the tent which the remaining little macho-men, of course, loved.

My angel speaks; I listen. I wonder if her name was "Sandy?"

12. Who was the WORST person you talked to today? 

The sheet-rock repairman and the fence installer. Tried to kill both of them through the phone. Same thing for the roofer. (Yes, we are still dealing with the ravages and aftermath of IKE)

13. Whose wedding were you in the WORST time? 

That wedding was really embarrassing and I normally do not confess this. If I could sing the selections for you, you'd understand.

On the day of that huge, Episcopalean (High Church with matching, formal, massive pipe organ) wedding with everybody who was anybody attending, I was the Soloist.

After that? Not so much. 

 There were 700 people in attendance; 6 bride's maids all in red velvet, 6 groomsmen. I'd practiced  Oh, Perfect Love for weeks with the pianist and had it down pat. A few hours before the ceremony, the bride informed me that Father Whatever would not approve the 'secular' version and handed me the 1896 hymnal open to page 237.

Oh, and the pianist had a family emergency, but not to worry, the PIPE ORGANIST would accompany me. Here's your beanie.

I was standing in the balcony, over-shadowed and secluded behind the organ. Its resonance and reverberations......well, let's just say that my perfect pitch turned into what felt and must have sounded like breathless monotone that day. They have the whole thing on tape.

14. What was the WORST thing you did this morning?

Sipped on a cup of last night's left-over, stale and rancid coffee while waiting for the new pot to pour through. 

15. What was the WORST concert you ever went to? 

The Houston Live-Stock, Show and Rodeo. It was awful. The whole thing: the smells, the dirt, the crowds, the sounds. During the concert, our seats were inaudibly high. Don't even remember who played. The drunks, (some of whom were my former students) around us had a great time....

16. WORST tattoo? 

My son begged me into a tatoo once: for his 6th Birthday Party.

It was a delicate little fake butterfly on the outside of my right ankle which he took great joy (and devious laughter) in applying. The horror came after the party when it would not wash off and I had to start school that year with stunned stares of my students, the principal and board members. 

17. WORST piercing? 

Body-piercing? I've heard a few piercing voices in my life, read and heard some words that pierced right through my heart, but nothing I would ever do voluntarily.

Besides that, I have acute allergic reactions to zinc and magnesium which they use to affix the clasps. 

18. WORST foreign country you've been to? 

Liechtenstein.

19. WORST movie you remember seeing in the theater? 

It's a toss-up between Borat and Gods and Generals.

20. WORST Detention you had? 

Define "Detention."

21. What was the WORST state you lived in? 

Home renovation during a heat wave.

22. If you had three wishes, what would the WORST one be? 

My brain doesn't work that way. I can't fathom that oxymoron. 

23. What is the WORST thing you would learn if you had the chance?