1…Stop fretting over the state of the world. 

2…Subsidize trips to Paris for lunch for any more auto service/repair personnel or insurance execs. Or pay for their children's education at Harvard and Yale. 

3…Discuss age. Mine. Don't ask. We can talk all day about YOURS, but not mine. I can't bring myself to actually LIE about it, but I will definitely avoid an answer at all costs. Including a diversionary attack of apoplexy. 

4…Worry about lost friendships. Well, they aren't lost really. I just fired a few *friends* this year mainly for their racism and refusal to look at facts. OK. OK. I'm guilty of denial, maybe, but racism is a sign of willful defiance and is beneath my intelligence to spend one more minute with that mindset. 

5…Avoid aggressive Exercise. I've started this one already. It's strenuous and exhausting, and exhilerating sometimes, but regularly increasing my typing speed just does it for me. You?

6…Learn to play the tuba. 

7..Lean on you unnecessarily and without just cause. 

8…Go to another high school reunion. What for? 

9…Stop writing the little book I'm working on. It's a collection of silly things prompted by Nora Ephron's I Feel Bad About My Neck.  Haven't come up with the clever and irresistible title yet, but I resolve to. (Note to BR: If it's ever published, you realize that you'll probably have to sell it to yourself, BR?)

10..Use every pot and pan in the kitchen to boil water. (Face it, BR. We've been over this time after time after time: Your parents screwed up. You were NOT born a Princess, ok?)

11..To let the pile of paperwork continue to breed, go forth and multiply on top of my dining room table every time I leave the room.

12..........................................I left this one open for you to add to my list as a suggestion. I know you don't really give a flip about my personal resolutions, but it's here if you need it. (BR..... Here we go again: you are sooo full of bull. You couldn't think of another concrete resolution and just made this one up, didn't you?)

13..Refrain from writing the media, politicians and pundits to give them a little piece of my mind. I'll sign my real last name so they'll wonder if *we're* related to prompt a swift reply. 

 14..Stop wanting everyone to do the best they can with what they have. Now, this one is really important because some are blessed with more (or less) than others. I resolve to be patient, loving and kind to the best of my ability but I cannot be counted on to keep my smart mouth shut at all times and in every circumstance. 

15..Fall for suck-ups, users, egocentricism, elitism, or the sanctimonious and ill-mannered. 

16..Forget to take my own carrying bags to the grocery store. Those sackers never follow my instructions anyway: "Don't make them too heavy because they break every time, even if you double-bag. Put refrigerated items in plastic and everything else in paper." 

17..Wear mismatched pjs just because they feel better. You never know when someone will want to snap a picture in the middle of the night, catching me in a less than complimentary light. (Note to BR: Wake up, BR. You're dreamin' again, honey...) 

18..Eat additive-laden foods. This one is a permanent fixture on my Resolution Nots List for me AND the pups. Here's a tip: http://www.chickensoupforthepetloverssoul.com/

19..Stop sending flowers or sharing plants. You can't thank people for plants, by the way, they're not theirs to give.

20..Stop exposing the wrongs, unjusts and gross misinformation.

21..Floss more. I think those water-pic thingys are good enough every once in a while, don't you?

22..Tolerate one more minute of emails forwarded from the metaphorical blind, deaf and dumb. From now on, when one gets past my 'filter to delete' system, instead of saving all of my rants in Drafts, I will respond with fury and hit "Reply to All"... OK. Maybe not.

23..Drink eight glasses of plain water daily. Coffee is made with water. Duh.

24..Stop grieving for the homeless and deprived children around the world. 

25..Stop going to OS, FB, and political sites 10 times a day, er, except on holidays.