Portraits of the Pilgrims, 2012

 "The reader should be aware of these subtle ironic statements which are often made in paradoxical situations."

Time:  October/2011

Place: The Tabard Inn on the Campaign Trail

The Narrator: Chaucer portrays  Pilgrims

 The Knight: MITT ROMNEY

Perfect and genteel man who loved freedom, chivalry and honor. The most socially  prominent person on the journey; the battles he fought were all religious wars of some nature.

Manager of  large estates. Shrewd, businesslike, capable.  A large landowner with wealth, but not of noble birth. Red face and no beard; enjoys good living; generally feared, but liked, by the other pilgrims.  

Yeoman: JOHN HUNTSMAN

Dressed in green; an expert woodsman, an excellent shot with the bow/ arrow. Speaks Chinese.

Yeoman

Prioress: MICHELLE BACHMANN    

The Prioress        

Madame Eglantine; a gentle lady; well-educated though her French wasn't accepted Parisian French. Coy and delicate; Flailing and submissive.

 Monk: NEWT GINGRICH

The Monk

A lover of jewelry, fine foods;  dressed in fine clothes. Favorite food was a roasted swan.  No other monk is more worldly than he is.  When the monk says that he doesn't approve of the solitary prayerful existence in a  monastery, Chaucer pretends to be convinced that the Monk's argument is right.  His love of the worldly goods, food, and  pleasure, and his dislike of the quiet monastery contradict his religious vows. 

 Squire: RICK PERRY  

The Squire

A wanton and merry man.  Chaucer says there was no better man than the Friary Squire when it comes to the practice of his profession. Always able to get money from people (thru every vicious and immoral method). The best of his type--scoundrel.  Cunning, though unlettered; cheating the well-educated lawyers by putting aside a tidy little sum for himself.

 Merchant: DONALD TRUMP

Rich and powerful; shrewd; knew how to bargain; well-dressed. No  one would tell he was deeply in debt.

Clerk: RON PAUL 

   The Reeve

 Student at Oxford; extremely thin on a thin horse; threadbare clothes; quiet; a real scholar. A skinny man/ bad temper; ride last (in the back)--suspicious, trusting nobody. Next to the knight, he is one of the most admired people on the pilgrimage.

 Miller/Shipman: CHRIS CHRISTIE

 The Miller

A huge man, uncouth; a master of vessel and knew all the ports; does not ride well; like a fish out of water as he sat on his horse. A big brawny man to outwrestle any man/ even a ram. Short shouldered, broad and thick set;  a wart on his nose from which bristly hairs protruded made him look fearful. Played the bagpipes as the pilgrims left the town.

 The Doctor of Physic: HERMAN CAIN

Doctor of Physic

A candidate for knighthood; a lover who can sing lusty songs, compose melodies, poetry. Knows astronomy (astrology) and something of nature, but nothing of the Bible. Made a lot of money during the plague; loves gold and stuffed crust.       

a bit deaf and exceedingly daft; born feigner and web-weaver with aggressive feminism; in fancy/colorful clothes: scarlet red stockings; amorous; a laugh and [a] joke.

Wife of Bath

Parson: RICK SANTORUM

Poor, but rich in holy thoughts and works; lives the perfect life first and then preaches it.  Amid the worldly clerics and the false and superficial religious adherents, the poor parson stands out as the ideal portrait of what a parish priest should be.

The Parson

 Plowman: TIM PAWLENTY

A small tenant farmer, but the ideal Christian man; honest with neighbors; paid his tithes and dues.

 Summoner: RUSH LIMBAUGH

The Summoner

Ugly: fire-red complexion, pimples and boils, a scaly infection around the eyebrows, and a moth-eaten beard; loves garlic, onions, leeks, and strong wine; speaks Latin to show off. His physical appearance fits his profession well since he is paid to summon sinners for a trial before his court. He is so gruesome looking that a summon from him is in itself a horrible experience. Chaucer ironically implies that he is a good fellow because sinners could easily bribe him.  

 Pardoner: THEO CRAT

A church official who had authority from Rome to sell pardon and indulgence to those charged with sins. Hypocrite, phony, ugly but in fashionable clothes--loud, high-pitched voice, greed, big eyes, yellow hair, beardless (a "gelding or a mare"); sings and preaches so as to frighten everyone into buying pardons at a great price.  

The Host: BARACK OBAMA

Barry Bailey; a merry man  suggests to tell stories to shorten the long journey--two tales on the campaign and tales of woe on the way back; the man who told his story best was to be given a sumptuous dinner by the other members of the party--

http://www.eng.fju.edu.tw/iacd_99F/medieval_lit/data/Chaucer.html