I usually refrain from commenting on U.S. politics. After all, I'm not an American, and even though I'm a regular on Fark.com's politics tab, I have only a vague idea about how presidents are elected (except evil scads of money are involved).
And anyway, it's just too easy to be mean. Think scaly piscine creatures, large tub of water, sharp percussive sounds. Not that many pols (on either side of the border) would get it -- intelligent discourse is so far over their heads that they can't even see the contrail.
Still, it's becoming more and more difficult to ignore -- or at least keep from laughing right out loud -- when I read the nonsense that comes from Republican candidates. It really is hilarious ... if you take it as satire, or maybe parody. I'll skip right over the obvious stuff, like the urban definitions of Santorum and Teabagging, and get right to the heart of things.
At any given time, all the candidates -- real, like Romney, and surreal, like Palin -- are high up on the whack-o-meter. I mean, Bachmann agrees that a social media conspiracy is behind Obama's successful campaigning, and Gingrich says he's a "middle-class person". Really? Is anyone taking these people seriously?
(Alas, yes, if the latest ratings are to be believed. Especially people over 65, who are Fox News's fan base. Lucky for us sentient carbon-based lifeforms, Jon Stewart comes out ahead of almost all of the FN talking heads.)
But I think the pinhead-of-the-campaign award (at least so far) has to go to Rick Perry, the Texas man who would be king and living proof that there are three kinds of people in the world -- those who can count, and those who can't.
Along with all his other gaffes comes this gem from Iowa, as reported by that sinister (think about it) organisation, the New York Times:
" 'Every barrel of oil that comes out of those sands in Canada is a barrel of oil that we don’t have to buy from a foreign source,' Mr. Perry said in Clarinda, earning a loud round of enthusiastic applause."
Breathtaking. It's got to be a joke, doesn't it? I mean, it's bad enough that Romney apparently doesn't consider Hawaii to be part of America, but this....
OK, never mind: Perry's in a class by himself, up to a Nigel Tufnel 11 on the stupidity dial.
We up here more or less affectionately refer to Alberta -- where the tar sands he referred to are located -- as "Texas North", because it a) has a lot of oil b) is politically conservative c) was initially settled in part by whiskey-dealing thugs from below the 49th and d) is perhaps best known internationally as a dinosaur graveyard.
But Alberta is still part of a sovereign nation not named the United States of America. So I'll lay out the obvious (obvious to anyone with an IQ in the high double digits): The oil Perry is talking about is being purchased from a foreign source.
And while our current (lamentable but true) prime minister represents a riding in that province, and is slightly to the right of Atilla the Hun on many social issues, I think even he might be just the teensiest bit miffed at Perry's presumption and ignorance.
But ... then again, maybe not. After all, oil's well that ends well.
You see, governor, that large land mass to the north
is whole 'nother country.